


A Marriage Story

by writersobession12



Category: BlacKkKlansman (2018)
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, F/M, Fights, Fluff, Marriage, Multi, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-30
Updated: 2020-03-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:01:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 70,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22026754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writersobession12/pseuds/writersobession12
Summary: Flip Zimmerman and Reader are a happily married couple. Until a particular case turns their relationship upside down, can they work it out, or will the divorce be their only option?
Relationships: Flip Zimmerman/ Black Reader, Flip Zimmerman/ Reader
Comments: 9
Kudos: 45





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fan-fic, so hI ope you enjoy it. The reader is a black woman so the story will be told from a black woman lens. (y/n) is your name. (ysn)= your sisters name. (yosn)= your other siblings name. (yht) =your hair type. (ybs) your body shape. I'm sorry if the characters are not general enough. If you dont have any siblings feel free to make up names. Please feel free to leave feedback. Enjoy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first fan-fic, so hI ope you enjoy it. The reader is a black woman so the story will be told from a black woman lens. (y/n) is your name. (ysn)= your sisters name. (yosn)= your other sibling's name. (yht) =your hair type. (ybs) your body shape. I'm sorry if the characters are not general enough. If you dont have any siblings feel free to make up names. Please feel free to leave feedback. Enjoy

Feb 1973

It was a crisp sunny Wednesday morning in Colorado Springs. You had forgotten how cold Colorado spring was compared to LA. You're in the passenger seat of Volkswagen bug as (ysn) drives you to the home you used to share with Flip. As you stare outside the window watching the town roll by you being to remanence of your mornings with Flip. Every weekday morning was the same. You wake up at six to cook breakfast, your favorite bacon/eggs, and toast. Make sure the coffee was brewing and the morning paper delivered. Then you would get ready for the day by setting out your outfit and making sure you had all the items in your bookbag for work. Once the clock struck seven, it was time to wake Flip-up. Usually, with kisses on his ears and nose, his best features. He would grumble something incoherent and pull you into the bed, you both would stay like that for ten minutes once his time was up you would tease him about making you late for work although you both couldn't care less. 

"Where did you go just now?" (ysn) asks.  
"Nowhere I'm just sleepy from the flight, that's all. Oh, we're here, huh." you reply.  
"Yep. Let me help you with your bags." They say as they put the car in park and step out. 

You step out too, pulling your jacket a little tighter to your chest as the colds wind hits you suddenly. You just stare at the white ranch style house that seems so foreign yet so familiar. Your eyes scan the house, searching for familiarity. First, the driveway where flips pick up is parked. Then the blue front door. Its February, yet the Christmas wreath is still there with the matching red welcome mat. Hmm, he remembered your thought; it was your tradition to change the welcome mat and garland on the front door for every major holiday. Since your first Christmas together, you learned Flip would put lights up but won't take them down till march, and you wouldn't be "that" house on the block again. So simple decorations worked best, and it was your responsibility to put them up and take them down.

Your sibling's trunk slams shut, which makes you jump back to reality.  
"Are you going to be alright by yourself, or do you want me to stay?" they ask.  
"I'll be fine," you say, and grab your luggage from their hands.  
"Call me if you need anything, and don't forget and call me tomorrow to tell me how it went." They say, pulling you into a hug.  
"Okay," you mumble and hug them back.  
They get in their car still parked out front waiting to make sure Flip answers the door.  
You start walking on the grey brick walkway towards the front door luggage in hand. You knock instead of ringing the doorbell, praying he didn't hear it, so you can run back to the car.  
You knock three times, no answer, and start to turn around. 

"Ring the fucking doorbell", your siblings yells from their car. 

"Ugggh fine", you yell back, rolling your eyes in annoyance. You turn back to face the door.  
You reach for the doorbell thinking to yourself if Flip didn't hear my knocks, he sure heard the yelling.  
Sure enough, Flip answers the door before you can reach the doorbell. He is wearing his usual get up a grey flannel, wrangler jeans, and socks. His eyes widened, and his posture stiffened as he looks down at you and then behind you at the Volkswagen bug parked in front. 

"Suprise!" you say into shaky breath. 

You wave to your sibling, and they drive off. Still standing at the front door, with Flip just staring down at you. You staring back, he breaks his silence, "What are you doing here?"

"Well, you see, Jimmy called me and said you weren't doing so well and that I should check up on you. So here I am checking up on you." You stutter back. "Why do you care?", he countered leaning against the doorway arms crossed in front of him. You look down and sigh, "You know I care, Flip, but can we have this conversation inside? It's been a while, and I'm not used to this weather." 

Flip hesitates and moves out of the way to let you in; you grab your luggage and carry it inside. Cause you know, he's not in the mood to do it for you. Once inside, you observe your surroundings to find old pizza boxes on the coffee table next to empty beer cans. But the living room looks the same as it did when you left. The classic 70's wood paneling along the walls and a low mid-century black couch against the back wall with a gold circular coffee table placed in the middle of the room.

He slams the door behind you and walks to the kitchen. You set your things to the side and follow behind him. As you enter the kitchen, you notice its painted grey. It was an ugly red before. You used to tell him how you wanted to paint the walls in the kitchen looks like he did that when you left. All white appliances still with the small kitchen table on the left side of the kitchen. He opens the white fridge and grabs a Coors. Its eight in the morning you think, but you know your "surprise" probably has him on edge.

"So, its been two years with little to no contact, and you care all of a sudden." Flip comments while leaning against the fridge.


	2. Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here is chapter two let me know your thoughts feedback always appreciated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first fan-fic, so hI ope you enjoy it. The reader is a black woman so the story will be told from a black woman lens. (y/n) is your name. (ysn)= your sisters name. (yosn)= your other siblings name. (yht) =your hair type. (ybs) your body shape. I'm sorry if the characters are not general enough. If you dont have any siblings feel free to make up names. Please feel free to leave feedback. Enjoy

May 1971

You, Rhonda (Jimmy's wife), and Sharon (Bridges wife) decide to go on a girl's trip to Denver on Memorial day weekend. The boys weren't as excited as you, and the girls were about the outing. They don't like the idea of three women driving alone on the open road and how vulnerable you would be. But they forgot the three of you are wives of cops you know how to handle yourselves. The girls were to meet at your and Flip's house at 10 Friday morning. 

It's currently eight am, and you are cooking breakfast for Flip and sandwiches for the trip. Flips in the living room watching the news but absent middlingly thinking about how he can convince you not to go and spend the weekend with him. It's his first holiday weekend off in a while, plus he just got back from Nam five months ago. He really wants to spend it in bed with you, maybe that will be his ticket. He gets up off the couch turns the tv off and walks into the kitchen. With your back facing him, he stalks up behind you and places his arms around your waist. You swat him away because you're trying to cook the eggs, and you don't want them to burn. 

"Come on, Flip; you're going to make me burn the eggs." 

"I don't want eggs. I want you." He talks too soon because his stomach starts to growl.

"Funny, your stomach is telling me a different story.” You poke at his stomach. 

"Fine, I'll let go, but imagine the two of us in this house for the whole weekend. He gets to your ear level and whispers, you would never leave the bed. Let me do that for you."

You shiver and pull away, to protest. "No flip you promised me that on Presidents day weekend and you left me home alone to work on a case that whole weekend. Don't forget that it was a month after you got home from Nam. I won't stay home and be disappointed again."

He opens his mouth to counter, 

You place your finger in-between the two of you, "And you cant promise me you won't this time either cause you can't keep it." 

He stares down at you, hoping you will give in, and when you turn away from him, he growls and walks to the kitchen table defeated. 

You finish the eggs and make plates for both of you.

You hand flip his plate and sit down next to him at the table. 

He hates how his job takes him away from you. He scolds himself when he thinks of all the promised date nights, vacations, and picnics he's had to cancel because of work. He's lost in his thoughts; he doesn't hear you call his name.

"Flip, Flip, Phillip."

He hates his name, Phillip. 

"I was talking to you, did you not hear me?" 

"No, I'm sorry, he shakes his head. What were you saying."

"I was saying that I know you try your best, don't beat yourself up if you can't keep a promise now and again. You make up for it when you keep me up all night sometimes", you blush and wink. 

Flip doesn't reply; he smiles and holds your hand. 

After breakfast, you clean the dishes and pack snacks for the girls. 

It's about nine now, and you make sure you are all packed. Meanwhile, Flip is outputting gas in your Volkswagen Thing and checking the tires for your trip.

He returns to find you in the bedroom, facing the bed checking off your checklist. Flip moves to sit on the bed next to your bag and wraps his arms around your legs, placing his head on your torso. 

"Please be safe out there. He whispers into your clothes. Please call me once you reach the hotel. Don't pick up any hitchhikers, and you stick together." He commands. 

You don't reply and just run your fingers through his hair. You know he means well, but you're not a kid; you're a grown woman.  
Flip smacks your ass and pulls away from you and asks, "do you understand?" Looking up at you. 

"Yes, Sergeant Zimmerman, I understand." You salute at him and move down to give him a passionate kiss. He pulls you down to the bed and climbs on top of you, and you two begin to make out and do a little more until the doorbell rings. 

You move to get up and but Flip pushes you down and says, "I'm not done with you yet". He kisses you and pulls you further down into the mattress. 

Ding, Ding, Ding, Ding 

"We know you're in there it's time to go," Rhonda yells from the front door. 

You laugh and push Flip off you, "save it for when I return." you yell while making your way to the front door. 

Flip grabs your overnight bag off the bed and follows you to the front door. 

"Good morning Rhonda," you say and hug the woman. 

"See, I told you they were getting busy look at her shirt. That is why they are always late." Rhonda points at your shirt and looks to Sharon. 

You ignore Rhonda’s comment and greet Sharon inviting them both in.

You lead the ladies to the kitchen to grab the picnic basket full of goodies for the road. 

Flip says a quick hello to the girls and heads outside to put your things in the car. 

Flip is met by Bridges and Jimmy, each holding their ladies' bags.  
"Where do we put these Zimmerman? They ask. 

"In the front, come on." Flip leads the way. 

Flip opens the front of your car where your trunk is and puts your bags in moving to the side so bridges and jimmy can put their girls' bags in. 

"I don't like this idea at all Zimmerman, says bridges hands on his hips looking up at Flip. 

"They should do something locally," Jimmy adds. 

"We are grown women, not children; we can go and do whatever we want," says Sharon as the three of you make it outside to join your partners. 

"Here, here!" you and Rhonda add, laughing. 

The men stare you three down deadpanning. 

"Come on, ladies, let's get this show on the road," you scream and lead them to the car. 

Flip closes the hood and moves around to give you a deep kiss  
"Be safe." he says  
"Always." you reply  
He opens the driver door you get in, and the ladies follow. 

With each goodbye said. You ladies set off for one hell of a weekend. 

"Well, with them gone, we got to meet up with our informant Flip." Says Jimmy as the boys watch you drive away. 

Flip turns to Jimmy and nods.


	3. Part 2 continued

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first fan-fic, so hI ope you enjoy it. The reader is a black woman so the story will be told from a black woman lens.  
> Chapter Keys   
> (y/n) is your name.   
> (ysn)= your sister's name.  
>  (yosn)= your other sibling's name.   
> (yht) =your hair type.   
> (ybt) your body type.   
> (yfc) Your favorite color.   
> I'm sorry if the characters are not general enough. If you don't have any siblings feel free to make up names. Please feel free to leave feedback. Enjoy

You and the girls arrive in Denver by 1 pm. There were many cigarette and gas breaks on your drive up. The hotel is in downtown Denver. It was an old factory mill remodeled into an upscale hotel and decorated in the roaring 20's style. You each check into your rooms and rest for a little while. You decide to call Flip and let him know you arrived safely. You call home first but no answer, so you called the station. Donna answered, "Hey, Donna, how's it going."  
"It's alright looking for Flip."  
"Yes, is he there."  
"He and jimmy just left. I'll leave a message for him."  
"Thank you have a nice weekend."  
“Likewise", she says.  
You hang up. Precisely why you planned a trip this holiday weekend, you had a gut feeling he would be working. 

Your hotel room phone rings,  
"Hello."  
"Y/n its Rhonda."  
"Yes, Rhonda.  
"Did you call flip?"  
"Yes, he's not home, and he's not at the station."  
"I know I tried to call Jimmy. It's the same thing, every single time they promise us a work-free weekend it's never true. Ugh, I know their work is important, but damn so are we."  
"I agree 100%, but we aren't home we are away. Let's forget about them and have fun. Let's meet up at the bar at 5 tell Sharon."  
"Okay, sounds good."

You hang up the phone. And say a little prayer for Flip. You just wish he is safe. Then you get up unpack your things, take a shower, and nap a little. 

You wake to a knock on the door. "Open up; it's us." Sharon yells

You open the door to see Sharon and Rhonda all dressed up. Sharon is a blonde hair blue-eyed woman. She wore her hair in a pixie cut that matched her circular face shape. She wore a chambray top and matching shorts with red Keds. Now, Rhonda, she is a firecracker. You love that hippie. She has long brown hair that parted in the middle and green eyes. She's wearing a long-sleeved v-neck floral dress and gladiator sandals — layered necklaces decorating her neckline and silver rings on each finger. 

"Hello, girlies," greeting them. 

"Why aren't you dressed." Asked Rhonda.  
"I fell asleep and forgot to set the alarm to come in I'll be ready in 5." you head to the bathroom to get ready. The girls step inside and sit on your bed, waiting for you to get dressed.  
"I talked to my husband, and he says the boys decided to meet up with their informant once we left. Once he gets a hold of them, he’ll let them know we arrived safely." Says Sharon.  
"Tell him he doesn't have to report back. I'm okay with them not knowing were safe. Yes, I'm speaking for you too y/n. Says Rhonda while lighting a cigarette. 

"Thanks." Rhonda, you laugh.

"They could've at least waited until they knew we were safe before running off to chase some informant. Men, they just don't think." You finish.

“Yep but lets not worry about them, let's get some drinks then food and storm the town," says Rhonda.

"Woohoo!" you scream as you exit the bathroom, all ready to go. With your curls pinned up in an updo two front curls framing your face. You are wearing a white jimmy Hendrix t-shirt tucked into your flared dark jeans with a turquoise belt and some brown woven sandals. 

"Let's go, ladies."

The hotel bar was dimly lit with velvet booth seats and barstools surrounding the bar. Popular band posters are decorating the walls. You tell the girls to find a table and that you'll order the drinks. It's pretty dead for Friday evening maybe seven other people there besides your group, but then again it is only 5 pm. You head to the bar taking a seat next to an older man with a grey beard as long as his shirt. You exchange hellos and wave the bartender down. You order sex on the beach for Sharon, a sour whiskey for Rhonda, and a lemon drop for yourself. You scan the bar and find the girls and direct the bartender to the table and ask him to deliver the drinks there. 

You head to the table. The girls are already talking about what we are doing next. Sharon wants to go to an Italian restaurant, but Rhonda wants soul food. You tell them you're down for whatever, which leaves the choosing up to them. The drinks arrive, and you decide to change the subject. 

"So how are the boys, Sharon?" You ask. 

"Don't ask. Tony's about to turn 16, and James is starting high school this fall. I'm outnumbered at home and can't find any time for myself. Don't get me wrong I love my boys, but sometimes I wish I didn't have any. She paused looking down at her drink. That's not true; I just wish Bridges would step up more."

"Have you asked him to," asks Rhonda  
"Of course I have, but he just says I'm better with them. His dad wasn't around when he was growing up, so he didn't have an example, and he doesn't want to mess up, I guess."

"Hmm, it can be hard for men to understand that their family needs more than just financial support. They also need emotional support. My dad tried to connect with us after my mom died, but he just couldn't without her there to show him the way. He didn't even try. Just give him time, maybe tell him to do something you would normally do for the boys and see what happens." You sympathize with her rubbing her back. 

"I'll try that cause they're getting older, and they don't want to talk to me about boy stuff. It's awkward." Sharon laughs. 

All three of you laugh.

"How's work y/n?" Rhonda asks

"It's good. Editing for the Colorado Spring Tribune is nice but the stories are always the same. How can wives be better? What did Mayor whoever the fuck do today? There are so many injustices in our town that I want our journalist to write about. Stories that the locals would care to read. But the editor in chief doesn't want us to get too political. I guess I just want a challenge. I'm tired of approving the same stories for print." You explain. 

"Speaking of a challenge, did you tell Flip about your job offer in LA?" Sharon

"No, I haven't had the chance. I miss home (LA) so much. Editing for LA times would be so huge. And I would be working right under my old high-school English teacher Mr. Thompson. You know I went to the University of Colorado met Flip on one of my journalism runs and have been here ever since. It would be nice to go back just for a little bit, but I'm afraid he'll interpret that as me running away from him. He's insecure in that way. He thinks that since I'm younger than him, I'll always be looking for something or someone better." You sigh. 

"He can't believe that you're his everything. You can barely get the man to stop touching you for two seconds. He's on you like a dog hound." Rhonda barks at you. 

You move away from her and laugh. "Yeah, it's hot sometimes, and other times it's annoying until I get worked up." You blush and look away. 

"Alright, I'm a reel you back in maneater. Tell him you just want to try this out for six months. He and Jimmy have been away for cases for three months at a time. He should understand." Sharon rubs your shoulder. 

"Okay fine, when we get back, I'll cook him his favorite dinner to get him in good spirits and then I'll tell him about the job." 

Good, they both agree.

The drinks are finished. And with a group of lightweights like yourselves, you decide its time to eat.

"So ladies, did you decide on where ere are going to eat?" 

"Yes, Bobby's Italian up the street."

"Alright, let's go."

After dinner and the walk back to the hotel, you are pooped. 

You confirm your plans for Saturday and each retreat to your respective rooms. 

Before you can enter the elevator. The concierge tells you you have a message. 

You see, its from Flip. 

Once in your room, you call flip at his office number per the message. 

"This is Zimmerman." 

"Hey, this is Mrs. Zimmerman."

He chuckles at that response, 

"You made it safely. I take it."

"Yes, we did record timing to only a three-hour drive." 

"Who was driving?"

"Me the first half and Sharon the second half."

"Oh yes, that's fast for Sharon." you both laugh.

"I tried calling you once we got to the hotel, but you were gone. Working on a case I heard."

"Yes, Jimmy and I decided to make the best out of our leading ladies being gone."

"So if I was home, would you have still worked on the case or not."

Silence  
"I can't say. Next time you can stay home and find out." 

"No, I don't want to be a sitting duck," you reply and start to yawn you check the clock its 11 pm.  
"You should probably get some sleep babe you've had a long day; I'll call you in the morning, okay.

"Okay love you."

"Love you too." 

You hang up and strip down to your t-shirt and undies and go to bed. 

You wake up to a knock on the hotel door.

You growl it 8 am way too early to wake on a holiday weekend. You look through the peephole and see a man on the other side. Cautious about opening the door.  
"Yes?" You ask. 

"Its room service."

"I didn't order room service."  
"Well, someone by Mr.Zimmerman phoned in an order."

You smile and open the door to let them in. 

They place the cart inside and hand you a message.  
The message reads; 

This is the breakfast I would have cooked you if you were home. I'll be out all day, so call Donna at the station if you need me.

-Love Mr. Zimmerman

You suck on your teeth and shake your head. He tells you he would be home, yet his message shows even if you were home, he'd be at the station. Ugh, he's only proving your point, but the breakfast is a nice gesture. 

You eat and get ready for the spa day. 

Its 11 am, and you girls are on your way to get mani and pedis.

By 1 pm lunch at Barneys.

By 3pm, a group massage for three.

Then dinner at six. 

Over dinner at the hotel, you girls decide whats next.  
"What will we do tomorrow?" You ask. 

Sharon; "Well, I have to be home before Monday, so I can get the boys ready for school on Tuesday."  
YN: "So go home tomorrow?"  
Rhonda: "Honestly, I haven't heard from jimmy all day today. I want to see what he's up too, can we go home tonight?"  
Sharon and Rhonda are looking at you now.  
YN: "Yeah, that fine; let's get the check, check out of the hotel and then get gas in the car."  
Sharon: "Sounds like a plan."  
You pay for the dinner and head to your room.  
You pack your bags, make sure everything is inside.

You wear jeans, a t-shirt, and Nike Cortez causes you are not driving in no heels. 

You meet the girls in the hotel lobby and check out. 

At the local gas station, you grab snacks and cigarettes. You don't smoke often, but you've noticed in social settings you will. With snacks and cigarettes bought, you start driving home. 

You are just outside of Monument Colorado on your way back when Sharon has to go to the ladies' room. So you stop at a local bar/dinner it looks like and get out to stretch your legs. Sharon shoots inside while you and Rhonda follow behind. 

You both sit at the bar waiting for Sharon. You scan the room observing the patrons. It looks like a bikers bar most of the men and women have a club jacket on and it smells like rotten fish. You can't wait to leave. As you continue to look around, you notice to your left a dark-haired woman making out with a dark-haired man, his's fingers are up to her skirt. You can't believe they are doing this in public. Until you notice the large freckle/mole on the right side of the mans face. Then you study his features in the dim light. You'd know that face anywhere. That's Flip. 

Sharon walks out of the bathroom, complaining about how disgusting it was. And Flips head turns, ending his make-out session after hearing a familiar voice. Sharon looks up, meets Flip's eyes, and sees the woman next to him starring too. She stops in her tracks. Rhonda stands trying to see what's taking Sharon so long and follows Sharon's eyesight. Once her eyes land on Flip, she walks towards him, ready to raise hell. You are so shocked you can't move. Sharon runs toward Flip with a look that kills. Jimmy, who's been watching from the corner of the room, grabs Sharon and turns her around.  
"Oh, honey, I'm over here, I'm so sorry my wife just had a little too much to drink tonight." He apologizes to the couple. 

Flip just stares until Jimmy winks at him, "no worries, we understand." Flip stammers. 

"We understand", you think who the hell is "we." 

Sharon is struggling in Jimmy's hold, telling him to let her go. Jimmy walks toward Rhonda and pushes her towards the exit. You look in Flip's direction again and see he's staring back at you with pleading eyes. 

The woman mouths, "do you know her?" Pointing at you too. She has long jet black hair with bangs and brown eyes. She's just a tad bit shorter than Flip even on the booth seat. So you know she is way taller than you. She has tacky tattoos on her arms. You had no idea that was Flips type. 

"No, I don't. She just looked familiar. That's all." He replies and turns his head towards the woman again. 

Rhonda grabs you by the arm and leads you out the door.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first fan-fic, so hI ope you enjoy it. The reader is a black woman so the story will be told from a black woman lens.  
> Chapter Keys   
> (y/n) is your name.   
> (ysn)= your sister's name.  
>  (yosn)= your other sibling's name.   
> (yht) =your hair type.   
> (ybt) your body type.   
> (yfc) Your favorite color.   
> I'm sorry if the characters are not general enough. If you don't have any siblings feel free to make up names. Please feel free to leave feedback. Enjoy

Once outside the bar, you just fall to the sidewalk. Your so spaced out you cant hear Sharon cursing at Jimmy cause he’s trying to calm her down. Everything is just moving in slow motion.  
Rhonda sits next to you on the sidewalk. She lights up a cigarette and hands it to you before lifting herself one. You take it and take the longest inhale you ever have. 

Jimmy walks Sharon over to you and Rhonda and says, "I guess I should explain the situation."

"No shit Sherlock." The two women yell at Jimmy. 

"Get in my car, and we'll talk."  
Rhonda helps you off the sidewalk over to Jimmy's Oldsmobile. Rhonda and Jimmy in the front you and Sharon in the back.  
Once in the car, Jimmy starts talking. 

"Flip is courting an informant for the case we're currently working. She asked for a rendezvous on Friday morning before you ladies left for your trip. She's a madame who is trafficking girls and drugs into Colorado Springs and taking them up to Denver. We are working her trying to get a confession. She took a liking to Flip, and that why he's in there with her. She trusts him; she believes he's a drug lord." Jimmy stammers out. 

"How long have you been "working" her?" You ask  
"Three months.”  
"Three months! Are you serious right now.” You yell, Flip has been keeping this from you for three months, “And what does "working her involve?"  
"You should ask your husband."  
”I can’t ask Phillip he’s preoccupied right now. So I’m asking you.” You roll your eyes at him. You can’t believe these two right now.  
"Well, I told flip he should be the one to tell you I take it he did not." He chuckles. Rhonda slaps him. Jimmy is so shocked he presses a had to his cheek. Are you serious woman?  
Yes, don’t you see how heartbroken (yn) is, and you are laughing at that. I can't believe you right now, Jimmy.  
I’m sorry, I didn’t realize it. I’m sorry (yn).  
You just turn your head away from everyone and look out your window.  
"Rhonda, did you know about this?” Sharon asks.  
"Hell no, if I did, I would have told you and y/n. Sharon, did you know?"  
"Of course, not Bridges doesn't tell me anything."  
"y/n didn't even know. (YN) did Flip's behavior ever seem odd to you?”  
“Not at first. But now that I think back, it explains why sometimes when he comes home, he takes all his clothes off in the laundry room and washes them. Then heads straight to the shower. Usually, he puts them in our shared laundry and comes to bed right after. I thought it was cause maybe he had blood on them or gun powder, but now I know differently." you say as you stare blankly out the car window. 

Rhonda looks back at you and sees you are quietly crying; she has never seen you so sad before. She's is pissed, and sitting here in this car is not going to help you, "Jimmy drives y/n car home. We are taking your car."

"Sorry, no can do Flip is still in there, and he's wearing a wire."

Sharon: "Well, we will just have wait for him to come out."

Two hours pass of silence in jimmy's car.

Flip exits the bar with the whore. That's her new name.  
He opens the cab door for her, and she reaches her hand behind his neck to pull him down to a kiss. He obliges her once the kiss is over she slips into the back seat, and Flip closes her door. He waits for her cab to drive off before he heads to Jimmy's car. 

Flip runs his hand through his hair and walks over to Jimmy in the driver seat. He looks back to see Sharon and Rhonda staring bullets at him. He finds you in the backseat you won't even look in his direction. He knows he’s fucked up. He opens his mouth to speak, but Sharon interrupts him.  
"Flip you and jimmy are taking your wife's car home, and the ladies and I are taking Jimmy's car home. "  
Flip looks at you, and you don’t even budge, so he turns to Jimmy, and Jimmy shrugs, "It's already decided, man.”

Flip doesn’t say anything. He knocks on your window and asks, "can we talk?"

Sharon move in front of you and answers for you, "No, she's not in the mood; Jimmy gets out. (Yn) hand me your keys.“

You and Jimmy do as your told. Sharon hands Jimmy your keys as he’s standing next to Flip. Jimmy and Flip just watch Sharon and Rhonda switch seats. And you girls drive off.  
Halfway into the ride home, Rhonda asks, "how are you feeling?"

"Betrayed! You cry out. I just want to go home." And you start crying. You cry all the way home. Then realize jimmy has your house keys.

"What are you going to do for the night?" Rhonda asks, rubbing your back and cradling you.  
"You can stay with me," Sharon says while looking out at you through the rearview mirror.  
"No, I'll go to ( ysn) house I just have to get my car back.”  
“Yes, that's probably for the best,” Sharon says.  
The rest of the ride is silent.  
Sharon parks in the driveway next to the Flips truck. You get out of the car and head to the front door. You lift the red flower pot beside the door to get the spare key and open the door. You head straight toward the master bedroom and grab your bag from the closet. You pack as much as you can in a hurry. Then you storm to your office and grab the stories left for you to edit for next week's Sunday paper. 

Once you have everything, you head to the front door only to see Flip standing in your way. He just got here you can tell because he’s breathing heavy like he just ran from the car to the house. You don’t pay him any attention. You walk right up to him and ask.  
"Where are my car keys?"  
"Jimmy has them."  
Okay, you begin to walk around Flip.  
He moves to the left to block you.  
"Please move. I want to leave." You say, looking down at your feet.  
"No, please stay and let me explain.” He puts his hands on your shoulders.  
You push him away and his hands fall to his sides. "No, I don't want to hear it. Now move." You yell at him.  
"I'm not moving." He yells back tears in his eyes.  
You stare up at him. And glare up onto his eyes, they were red and puffy. He had been crying.  
You want to wipe the tears away, but no, you had been crying too. Your eyes are probably puffy also.  
"Listen, Phillip I'm tired and heartbroken by your actions. I will not stay in this house with you. You have lied to me for three whole fucking months. I will leave, and we can pick this up another time. But not tonight. Now move out of my way." You yell at him, never breaking eye contact.  
"Please stay," he mumbles, lips quivering.  
You just push past him and walk outside. You can hear Flip storming after you. You see Jimmy waiting by his car in the driveway and walk toward him.  
"Give me my keys."  
He hands you your keys.  
You find your car parked on the street. You throw your bags in the passenger seat and get ready to open the driver door, but Flip slams it shut. 

"Come on, woman, this can't be such a surprise for you. I'm an undercover cop I have to do things like this sometimes. So just stay so we can talk it out.” He has a fire in eye that is burning with anger.  
Did this fool just call you woman? Oh hell no, you are fuming after those words. "Tell me about a time where you've done what I just saw before tell me, Philip.” You look up at him. His hand is still on the car door. He looks down at you and takes a long deep breath.  
"I did it twice before."  
"Were we married then?"  
"No."  
"Dating then?"  
"No," he shakes his head.  
"So, the two times you did it before we weren't together."  
"Yes, but."  
"No, but's I don't want to hear it. You should have told me. Did you fuck her?"  
"Not really."  
"What does not really mean."  
"I'm not having this conversation outside." He looks over at Jimmy and them watching this while scene you both are putting on.  
"I will go inside after you tell me what does "not really" mean."  
He states you down to see if you're bluffing, but you aren't you are looking at him with a hatred he's never seen before, and It's breaking his heart.  
"I've given her head, and I've fingered her. She's tried giving me a handjob but I couldn't cum because it wasn't you. So I stopped her."

You can't believe what you just heard. Giving head to a woman is so intimate how could he do that. You start to cry so hard you let out a whimper and start falling to the asphalt of the street. Flip tries to reach out to hold you, but you push him away. 

"Don't touch me. Don't fucking touch me. Don't call me, don't show up at my job. I'm done." You throw your hands in the air and pull yourself off the ground. You notice his hand has left your car door. You get up and hop in real fast. You turn on the ignition and drive off. 

Flip runs after your car. But you're too fast for him. He stops running and stands in the middle of the street, hands in his hair, watching you dive away. He walks back to the house and hears Sharon ask Rhonda and Jimmy for a ride. He just realized they all just witnessed the saddest day of his life. 

Flip walks pass the group, and Jimmy pats him on the shoulder while the women just turn their back to him. 

He walks in the house, slams the front door, and slides to the floor. He starts sobbing, thinking about that look you gave him (yec) has never looked so dark before. You drove off the look of hurt and disappointment. 

On your drive to (ysn) house, all you can do is cry. You've cried so much now that your eyes hurt. You don't even know if you have any tears left. You and Flip have been married for two years and dated for two years. Over the four years you have spent together; he has never hurt you like this. Even tours in Nam and you two were still standing strong, or so you thought. He has never kept something so big from you. What bothers you the most is that he hid it so well. He never came home smelling like another woman. No lipstick stains on his clothes or neck. No hickies that weren't from you. You think back to the women from the bar. She was taller than you maybe like 5'7 she was white, had black straight hair with bangs, and her nose was sharp like a sharks fin. Was that his type before you? She was the total opposite of you, you had (ysc) and (yec) with a (ybt) was he not attracted to you anymore. That thought had never crossed your mind before. You had never asked him if you were his type before. You just assumed cause he married you, that automatically made you his type. As if on autopilot, despite your ever-changing thoughts, you made it to (ysn) house.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first fan-fic, so hI ope you enjoy it. The reader is a black woman so the story will be told from a black woman lens.  
> Chapter Keys   
> (y/n) is your name.   
> (ysn)= your sister's name.  
>  (yosn)= your other sibling's name.   
> (yht) =your hair type.   
> (ybt) your body type.   
> (yfc) Your favorite color.   
> I'm sorry if the characters are not general enough. If you don't have any siblings feel free to make up names. Please feel free to leave feedback. Enjoy

The lights were on at (ysn) house, which lets you know they were awake. You don't even know what time it is. You walk up to the quaint cottage style home and ring the doorbell. Jackson, your sibling's partner, opens the door. Jackson was 6’2 with a fit body he’s also ex-military and caramel skin.  
"Hey, Jackson is (ysn) home?"  
"Yes, they are. Are you okay? Come in." he asks worriedly.  
"Yeah, I'm fine." you wave him off.  
"(yn) your sisters here," Jackson yells.  
"Why is she here? she didn't call." They say while walking towards the door from the kitchen.  
"Hey (ysn) sorry for the intrusion. I just didn't know where else to go." You start crying again.  
"So, you are not fine then," Jackson says as he moves out of your way.  
"He, He, that fucker cheated on me." You stutter. You cry.

"Well, he is white. Black men don't cheat." Jackson says while popping his collar.  
You and your sister just roll your eyes at him.  
"People cheat no matter the race or gender," your sister says.  
"Come now, let's sit on the couch." They grab you and walk you to the couch. Jackson brings us some whiskey, please."  
"Got it." Jackson runs into the kitchen to prepare the drinks.  
"Tell me what happened." Your sister is holding your head in their chest. 

"I went on a girl's trip to Denver with Rhonda and Sharon on Friday. Tonight on our way home we stop at a bar in Monument cause Sharon had to pee. And there he was making out with this woman, and Jimmy was with him." You whimper out, crying more into her chest. 

"Isn't he a cop?" asks Jackson as he hands you and your sibling your drinks.  
You pull away from your sister and down the whole drink before answering, "Yes, well, he's an undercover cop."  
"You never told us that." They say in unison.  
"I know, but it pertains to the events of tonight. Jimmy said that they are trying to get a confession out of this woman, and that's why Flip was making out with her."  
"If all they did was make out, it can't be that bad, right?" Ysn ask  
"That not the worst part. He's been on this case for three months never told me a thing about the woman."  
"And he just got back from Nam too, that man done fucked up." Jackson tisks, shaking his head.  
"Well, what has he done with this women?” Your sister asks.  
"He said she gave him a handjob, he's given her head, and finger fucked her."  
"So he's never actually fucked her?" Jackson asks.  
"Not that he's told me. But I didn't stay long to hear anything else from his cheating ass."  
"It sounds bad, but not that bad. I mean, it could be worse." Jackson says.  
"Jackson, can you give my sister and me some room, please. You are both annoyed by his constant remarks.  
"So now I'm being kicked out when it just got good."  
You both stare at him.  
"Okay, he walks out with both his hands up, I’m leaving, but (y,n) I'm really sorry about this."  
"Thanks." you both wait for him to leave before continuing.  
"Now, what is the ethnicity of this woman?”  
"She's white."  
"Of course," your sister says.  
"What does that have to do with anything?" You ask.  
"Well, its just she is the opposite of you."  
"Okay, and?"  
"Maybe he's into that. Do you know what he was into before you?"  
"No, I never asked him, and it's funny you ask that. I just asked my self that same question on my way here. What was his type before me? Maybe that's why he never told me maybe he's attracted to her."  
"Did he at least say sorry?"  
"No, he just wanted me to stay, so we can "talk about it." you move away from your sister and look down at your feet.  
"Well, I take it. You need a place to stay." as she rubs your back.  
"Yes, please."  
"Aiden (your sister's kid) is down, so I'll get the spare room ready for you."  
"Thank you."  
"Where are your bags?"  
"In the car."  
"Okay, I'll get Jackson to go get them, and you go take a shower. Wash this night off of you. I'll give you one of my t-shirts to wear for the night." she pats your thigh as she gets off the couch.  
You hug your sister and thank them.

You walk down your sister's hallway to the guest bathroom and find a clean towel and washcloth waiting for you. You decide a bath will be more relaxing than a shower. You start the water and adjust the temperature to your liking and wait for the tub to fill up. Before you undress to slip in, your sister knocks. You open the door  
"Here is my t-shirt and some boxer shorts I haven't worn yet. The room is all set when you're done."  
"Thanks," you say as you take the clothes from them.  
Once the door is closed, you undress, turn the bathwater off and slip into the tub.

Flips Point of View

Flip wakes up to find himself sitting on the floor of your foyer. His flannel sleeves are wet from his tears. He looks at his watch it reads 2 am. He thinks back to the events of last night and just feels defeated. He knows he should have told you, but he didn't know how you would react. The informant's name is Rebel, at least that's her madame name. He can't stand her. The way she thinks every man wants her just because she has this mysterious aura about her. She's not like you at all. She's loud and overly flirtatious; she always thinks she's right, but she is mostly wrong. She stands for nothing and has no moral compass. He wishes he could tell you this, but you're not in the state of mind right now to listen to anything he has to say, and your feelings toward him are valid. He gets up from the floor walks to the kitchen to get some water. Before he opens the fridge door he sees a Photo Booth picture of you and him. You're making silly faces while he just looks at you; it was from your third date at the local roller skating rink. Flip cant skate, but you can, and boy are you good at it. He takes a long deep breath and opens the door to get what he came for water. He fills his glass of water and walks down the hall to your bedroom. He enters the bedroom and sits on your side of the bed. He finishes the glass of water and tries to fall asleep on your pillow. He is breathing in your scent with every breath. 

Your PV

You lay in the bath for so long your fingers are beginning to wrinkle, and the water is past cold. You get up and drain the water. You lotion yourself with cocoa butter and put on the clothes your sibling gave you. You take a look at yourself in the mirror you look paler than your normal (sc). Your eyes look swollen form all the crying. And the natural rosiness of your cheeks is gone. You don't know what your next step is. But you wont let this man break you down. You only know married you; maybe it's time you find out who you are outside of him completely. You walk out the bathroom and into the guest room. You check the time it's 3am — time to go to bed. You put your head on the pillow and get under the blankets the room smells like your mom, and somehow sleep takes over you. 

Fpv 

Flip wakes up from a pounding at the front door. He checks the time its 9am on a fucking Sunday who could it be. He thinks about last night and hops out of bed, running to the door, hoping it's you he opens it only to find is your sister.  
"Wheres (yn)?" He asks  
"Its none of your business I'm just here for her stuff and important papers."  
Flip lets them in and closes the door behind them.  
"She doesn't need her stuff just tell her to come home, we can work this out." He pleads.  
"No can do, she wavers her finger in Flips face, She's a grown woman, and she's made up her mind, and I'm just doing my job of protecting her." she stands in front of Flip hands on hips.  
"She doesn't need protecting." Flip gets down in your sister's face.  
"Her heart needs protecting, and I'm here to safeguard it." she pokes at Flip’s heart.  
Flip looks shocked he doesn't know how to reply. That was a good point; your heart was his, and he broke it. He moves back, putting space between him and your sister.  
"So, where does she keep her important docs?" your sister asks again.  
"In the office, the last door to the right." He replies, pointing down the hall.  
"Thanks, I'll only be a minute." 

Flip doesn't follow; he just stands there for a good few minutes. But he wants to know why you need your passport or birth certificate what is your sister grabbing?

"Hey, what important docs are you grabbing?" he says, leaning in the office doorway.  
"That's for me to know and you to find out," she says while looking through the file cabinet.  
Flip wasn't one to get physical, but he really wanted to shake the truth out of them.  
"Can't you just tell me so I can try and stop it. I can't live without her. She must know that." he steps into the room now.  
"Oh, she knows you can't live without her, but can she learn to live without you is the real question." Your sister taps the folder with the docs she needs on Flip's shoulder.  
Flip wants to pull his hair out. These passive aggressive comebacks are killing him.  
He takes a deep breath and thinks of what his next step his. How can he get you to understand? A letter. Whenever you wanted to express your love for him, you would write him a letter.  
Your sister is almost out of the room when Flip says,  
"Before you leave, I want you to give her something. Just give me some time to get it together, please." Flip pleads. 

Your sibling looks at him; he looks pathetic. His hair is all in his face and he looks like the walking dead. But he's eyes tell a story of a broken man.  
"Fine, I'll give you five minutes. Now, where is your bedroom?

He points to the bedroom. And your sibling leaves the office. He sits in your chair and opens your desk to find stationary and pens. He sees (yfc) pen and begins writing.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is my first fan-fic, so hI ope you enjoy it. The reader is a black woman so the story will be told from a black woman lens. (y/n) is your name. (ysn)= your sisters name. (yosn)= your other sibling's name. (yht) =your hair type. (ybs) your body shape. I'm sorry if the characters are not general enough. If you don't have any siblings feel free to make up names. (YPV)= your point of view. Please feel free to leave feedback. Enjoy

Flip reads over the letter; he thinks he's covered everything. Hopefully, you'll listen to his words. Your sibling is standing in the doorway to the office, staring at him.   
"Are you done cause I am?" They ask.

"Yes, as he seals the envelope and hands it to them. Don't open it under any circumstance, okay." He pulls the letter back until he gets an okay.  
"Okay."  
"Thanks."  
"No problem. Now help me put this stuff in my car."   
"Fine," he mumbles and grabs your stuff to put them in your sibling's trunk. Once he shuts the trunk, he asks, "how is she?"

"I've been to your house for half an hour, and now you want to ask how she is? Your sibling rants back at him. I can't tell she's pretty upset and last night she cried all night. When I left his morning she was still sleeping. She loves you, but she doesn't like you anymore. What you did was fucked up." she levels with him.  
"I know it was fucked up. I should've told her", he says as he rubs the back of his neck with his head down. Wait if she was still sleeping why are you here? How do you know if she wants her stuff?"  
"Oh, I don't know. But I do know what's best for her. And getting away from you is what's best."   
He looks at them like whatever. he knows he's not in a position to argue. "So she's going to live with you then?"  
"No, she's going away."  
"Away where?" He raises his voice. He is scared that you'll leave him for good.   
"Away from you." They say ending the conversation   
They get in their car and drive away.   
Where would you go? Flip thinks to himself.   
He doesn't know what he's going to do. He's so angry he wants to hit something. He hits the garage door until one of the neighbors yells.   
Do that again, Zimmerman, and I'm calling the cops.  
Flip takes that as a cue to go inside. 

Ypv ( Your point of View) 

You wake up feeling like shit. Your head hearts, and there is this ringing in your ear that won't stop. It must be the whiskey from last night brown liquor always does you wrong. You roll over the bed and check the clock Its 11 am. Its Sunday you usually spend Sundays in the park with Flip when he isn't working. You guess that won't be happening anymore. You lay in bed a little while longer. Until your nephew walks in, Aiden age four opens your door and hops on the bed.   
"Hola aunty, (yn)"   
"Hola, how are you?" You mumble out since he just hoped on your stomach.   
"Good and you." His cute big brown eyes were looking down at you and a grin so full it highlights his chunky cheeks. You tickle him until he asks you to stop.   
"Daddy made breakfast, want some?" He giggles out.   
"Yes, please."  
"I'll walk you to the kitchen," he grabs your hand and pulls you out of bed. 

Jackson is in the kitchen, an apron around his waist. It smells like Christmas to you. The aroma of cinnamon and bacon taking you back to your childhood. 

"Good morning beautiful," Jackson says   
"Good morning," you reply as you wipe your eyes.   
"No, I was talking to my son." He jokes  
"Not funny."   
You're beautiful too but not in "that" way." he uses quotation marks too.   
Ugh, he is so dramatic.   
You sit at the table in the middle fo the kitchen, and Jackson hands you a plate of country fried potatoes, French toast, eggs, and bacon. You can't remember the last time you had country fried potatoes, but damn, you could stay here forever if he cooked like this all the time.   
You tell him to thank you and begin to eat.   
Before you get your first bite in, Aiden grabs your hand.   
"Aunty."  
"Yes"  
"You forgot to say grace."

"Oh, grace, yes, I did. Your stunned you and Flip never said grace you forgot about it. Well, Aiden, why don't you say grace for us."  
"Okay, bather in heaven, we tank you for this food. I tank you for aunty (yn). And for daddy and mommy. In Jesus' name Amen."   
Amen said to you and Jackson.  
The front door opens to reveal your sister Carrying bags of your belonging.   
You turn to look at all the commotion coming from the front door, "Where did you get that?" You ask, shocked.   
"Your house."   
Now, your standing walking up to her, "When did you leave?"  
"When you were sleeping," she says so plainly as she throws everything on the couch.   
"Why?" You as you look through all your things she had brought.   
"So you wouldn't have to, be thankful gosh. Jackson, can you please get the rest out of my car."  
"Yep," Jackson leaves his breakfast to go help your sister.  
She walks into the kitchen and sits in the chair next to yours. You follow them and sit down.  
They have a letter in their hand addressed to you. It's in Flip's handwriting.   
"He wants you to read this." She tries to hand you the letter.   
"I'll read it after breakfast." You turn away, not wanting to another thing to interrupt your perfect breakfast.   
"Maybe you should read it now." She places the letter on the table next to you.   
"Why? "you place your utensils on the table, looking at your sister in frustration. Why won't she leave you alone?   
"You might not be able to keep your breakfast down." She looks down at your plate and then up at you.   
"Did you read the letter, you ask as you pick the envelope up. You turn it over to see the seal was broken. That answers your question.  
"Fine, I'll be in the guest room, Aiden, please excuse me."  
"okay," he says.   
You smile at him and kiss him on the forehead as you leave.   
You stare down at the letter as you walk the hallway to the guest room. Now, inside, you close the door and slide down it. You take a deep breath before you open the later to read. 

Dear YN, 

I understand you feel betrayed. I betrayed your trust and the love we've built together. I thought I was protecting you from the truth but now I know the truth would have set us both free. I know that so cliche, but it's true. I don't even know where to begin. I've never written a letter to someone I love before, so I'm just going to start at why I did what I did. 

The woman's name is Rebel. She's a madame who traffics women and children. She works for a vast crime syndicate. She came up on our radar when Sergeant Willis picked up a 15-year-old girl on prostitution charges. Chief Bridges offered the teenager services, but she refused. Two hours after booking the girl, she was bailed out by Rebel. We knew then we had an underground sex trafficking problem in Colorado Springs. 

We got intel that Rebels operation was run inside of a bar called The Pine in Monument, Colorado. That's where she and Jimmy met first, but she wouldn't even look in Jimmy's direction, so it was my turn to try. I sat at the bar and posed as a drug dealer she took the bait. It soon became clear she wanted me for more than just the drugs. We kept that facade up for over a month. During that first month she was giving up so much info about her drug trafficking activity but we wanted to know about the girls. She wouldn't give that info up until we got closer. And by closer I mean intimate. I know I told you I didn't fuck her, but I did. Only once though. I had to fake cumming. I didn't even cum I swear on my mother's grave (yn). That's never happened to me before not cumming I just couldn't do it because she wasn't you. I felt so disgusted with myself after. After the sex, she started telling me more about how she keeps and gets the girls but not the location. We need to know the location so we can save them. I know it sounds crazy fucking the enemy but it's for a greater good. I want to save those girls so no one can use them and abuse them again. I would think that you would want that too. And I want to put that woman behind bars for the rest of her life. You don't understand how much she disgusts me, but I have to keep the end goal in mind.

Please believe me I never wanted this to go as far as it has. But its too late to turn back. I know you probably won't forgive me. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I don't want us to end like this. I'm just hoping by some slim chance you will and come home. I'll do whatever it takes just come back, please. 

-Love Flip

So he lied twice. Once to your face about the whole, not actually a fucking thing. Then the whole secret case bullshit. You don't even have it in you to cry anymore. You're so mad you want to hit something or slash his tires, or you don't even know what you want to do. This whole fucking town reminds you of Flip. You just want to burn it all down, but you cant. So that job in LA sounds real nice right about now. 

Your sibling knocks on your door.   
"It's open," you say as you move away so they can open the door.   
They look down to find you on the floor. Looking completely lifeless kind of like how Flip looked this morning.   
"They sit on the floor next to you."  
"He looks terrible, by the way."  
"Good."  
"What are your thoughts on the letter."  
"Fuck this letter; he lied to me."  
"But it sounds like this case is a big deal."   
"Big deal, my ass. "  
"Didn't jimmy say the same thing to you and the girls last night."  
"Yes, he did."   
"So, Flip may not be so crazy to do whatever it takes to take this woman down.   
I mean sex is just sex until it means something. Think about that fifteen-year-old girl. We were fifteen, once remember. What if that was you? Wouldn't you want someone trying to save you?" Your sibling tells you in a compassionate way. You would want someone to rescue you. Maybe you're too harsh on him. You two sit in silence for a while. 

"Do you think I'm too harsh and too hot-headed about this?"  
"No, hell no. He lied. That's what this is about. The reason for him technically cheating makes sense. But the whole I couldn't tell you part is fishy."   
"Okay, so I'm not crazy." your second-guessing yourself.   
"No, not at all. But what are you going to do?"   
"I'm going to write him back and let him know I understand why he cheated technically, but I don't understand how he could keep something so major away from me. Then I'm going to move back to LA and take that editing job at the LA Times."  
"Good, I thought you'd say that."  
"How did you know I'd say that?" How could she have known that you thought to yourself?   
"We were the closest growing up, I know you. Besides, I got all your major paperwork from your house, so now it's up to you to call them on Tuesday after the holiday." You hug her; you're so thankful that you have someone who gets you as she does. You pull away.  
"Okay, I will. But first, where is your stationary?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who gave kudos and who reads. It means a lot.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first fan-fic, so hI ope you enjoy it. The reader is a black woman so the story will be told from a black woman lens. (y/n) is your name. (ysn)= your sisters name. (yosn)= your other siblings name. (yht) =your hair type. (ybs) your body shape. I'm sorry if the characters are not general enough. If you dont have any siblings feel free to make up names. Please feel free to leave feedback. Enjoy

Dear Phillip, 

Thanks for the letter, and your honesty. I probably would have cheated on you too if I meant saving so many lives. But we have very different occupations and I never see that happening in my near future. I hope you do get the information you need so you can put her behind bars. No girl should ever be taken advantage of for someone else's profit. You and your team are brave for taking on such a daunting case. The woman in me can not turn a blind eye to another woman's tragedy. Thank you for standing up for the voiceless and powerless. I would like to think my influence in your life had something to do with your conviction to see this case through, or maybe you're just a human with morals. Can't tell right about now. Anyway, I forgive you and accept your apology. But I won't forget. You lied to my face. Had you told me upfront what you had to do and why, I would not be so fucking mad right now. You even lied about fucking her to my fucking face. Maybe she was your type before me. I don't know, and I don't care. I'm not wasting any more time on this. I'm emotionally exhausted, and I'm not sure how much more heartbreak I can take. I need time to process my feelings around you. This is a big lie, Phillip. It's hard for me to think of you as mine anymore. When I think about you I just see you and her. And how you said you didn't even know me to my face. I loved you so much. But I don't know how I feel about US anymore. I'm moving to LA. I got a job out there. If you need me for emergencies only. I repeat emergencies only call (yosn), who lives in LA. I won't be staying with them, but you can call them, and they will reach out to me. An example of an emergency would be if you lost your leg, or had a heart attack. Ok, nice talk. I wish the best for you. 

Best regards, YN

It took two weeks for Flip to get that letter. Your sister dropped the letter off to him personally after you left for LA. He was happy that you understood why or he at least thought you understood why. Your thoughts and emotions around the whole incident are all over the place based on your letter. But he hopes what you say about understanding is true. You always talked about LA and how much you missed it. He visited with you whenever he could. A different side of you did come out when you were in LA. You smiled more and wore bright colors. You also drank more out there than you did in Colorado and smoked cigarettes less. You weren't a pack a day like him more like a cig a week type chick. He wants to call (yosn) and ask how you're doing, but you said they are there for emergencies only. Maybe he could break his arm or something. No, that's just desperate. Without you home, he orders take out more. He hasn't done laundry in weeks. He doesn't want the smell of your sheets to change. He imagines you on an extended vacation and that you'll come home soon. Sometimes he catches himself going through your clothes in the closet. He subscribed to the LA times so he can feel like he's reading an article you would have touched. A lot of shit happens in LA He notices. He sees why you were so bored at the local tribune. 

Year one 1971 YPV   
LA has treated you so well. You live in a duplex between pico and south La Brea in Mid-city, a pretty diverse neighborhood. Since working at the Times, you've met so many new people. There's a party every weekend up in the Hollywood Hills. You haven't partied this much since college; it's so nice. You still meet up with folks from your high-school every now and again. You rollerskate down Venice boardwalk every other Saturday. You spend your Sundays at World on Wheels (rollerskating rink). LA is just your city. Women and men of all colors walking the streets people wearing their afros proud. In the 27th street historic district is where many black panther rallies were. You weren't as political as most of the brothers and sisters, but you shared the experience of oppression. Being the first black assistant editor at the Times came with snark comments every day. Smacks on the ass cause your ass was bigger than the other girls. (yas) wasn't that big of a deal to you. I guess these white men thought different. Flip never made comments about your ass being big; he just grabbed it a lot. Oh, maybe it was big to him who knows. So being at those rallies and in a space full of black men and women made you feel proud to be black. 

FPV 

He wakes up every morning on your side of the bed; its become his side of the bed now. He's had to wash the sheets since you've been gone, so your smell is gone now. But you have a few clothes still in your shared closet he smells them every once in a while. He makes himself oatmeal in the mornings for breakfast since you're not there to cook breakfast. He pairs his oatmeal with a Coors its tradition now. He heads off to work and starts it all over again tomorrow. 

The Year of 1972

FPV 

They've hired a rookie for the records room named Ron Stallworth; he's an annoying high spirited cat. He wants to do so much good, but he's stuck in the records room. Flip knows why he's in the records room cause he's black. It's for his best interest that he's away from the other officers they can be very racists. Flip wonders what you would think about a black man on the force. You would be proud that the station is making improvements toward diversity. But you wouldn't think it's fair that he's in records like he's the help or something. You would probably make a case to Bridges on Ron's behalf. Man, he misses you. 

YPV

It's coming on a little over a year, and the wear and tear of LA is hitting you. Everyone wants to be a movie star or an actress or something. The FBI is cracking down on the Panthers movement in LA, so you've stepped back from attending those events. (YOSN) is moving to San Fransisco for a job in the next month. So you will soon be in LA by yourself. You miss Flip more and more every day. This weekend you're on a trip to San Diego for work you come across a brewery called Mission brewery. Your coworkers took you, but you don't personally care for the beer, but it tasted like something Flip would drink. You thought about sending him some. That would be weird; you hadn't talked in over a year. Who cares you're going to do it any way you'll extend the olive branch.

You walk up to the cashiers. 

"Hey, how much for a case of your craft lager?"  
"That will be $15, ma'am."  
"Alright, I'd like a case then."   
"But, you didn't drink any today." He looks over to your table.  
"It's not for me. It's for my husband."  
"You don't have a ring on your finger." He counters, looking at your left hand.   
"Do you always ask personal questions to your customers?"  
"No, ma'am."  
"Good, where is my case of beer."

Your coworkers laughed at you for carrying a case of beer around town and back on the train to LA. But you didn't care it was for a good cause. Once in LA, you go to the post office to see if they can ship the case out.   
"No, Ma'am, we cant its alcoholic." Says the postoffice woman while she chews gum with her mouth open.   
"Right, but its closed container."  
"It could get damaged easily." She files her nails, not paying you any attention.  
"I know, but its a gift can't you flag it as fragile and put bubble wrap inside. Please."  
"Who's it for anyway." She starts weighing your item.   
"My husband."  
"You don't have a ring on your finger."   
"It's complicated; you roll your eyes. Can't you just ship it? Please?"  
"You seem really desperate to ship this beer. What's the address?" The postoffice women says to you.   
You give them your old address and a note to put inside the box. They say it will take a week to go through customs.   
You nod your head, understanding.

FPV

Flip and Ron are in the records room having a one on one.  
"Man don't act like you ain't got no skin in the game," Ron says to Flip  
Flip doesn't think he does at first. Flip knows he's Jewish, but he's been able to pass for so long. He wasn't even devout or anything. But what if Patrice was you he keeps thinking. He wouldn't want the klan to know about you. He does have skin in the game; it's you and him. What the two of you had. What if Trapp stopped you and degraded you like that. He couldn't take it. Ron may not know about you, but he's right; he does have skin in the game. He's going to do this crazy thing for you. He walks off, pissed at Ron for making him realize just how important you were to him.   
Later that day, Flip arrives home to a package on the front door its a huge package the label says it came from LAX.  
Did you send him something? He picks up the package and carries it in the house. He places the box on the kitchen counter and gets out his pocket knife to open it. There is so much bubble wrap protecting whatever is inside. He gets to the bottom of the box and finds a case of beer from Mission Brewery and a note. 

Hey Phillip, 

I went to San Diego this weekend and tried this beer. I don't like it. You know I'm more of a wine type of Lady, but it tastes like something you would drink. Hope you like it. I miss you and wish you well.   
-Love (yn)   
You're still calling him Phillip in your letters that lets him know you're still pissed. But you miss him maybe he does have hope. He empties the case and puts most of the cans in the fridge and two in the freezer. After a shower and dinner, he takes out the cans in the freezer and pours himself a glass and watches a baseball game. It does taste good, a sweet Kolsch yeast strain according to the bottle. He likes it a lot and can't help but smile as he drinks it, thinking about you and how you miss him. 

Flip decides he'll write to you explaining another crazy case he's working on and also to talk about that beer. He feels hopeful about your future together. But you can't come home yet not until this Klan case is over. He drives to your sisters to deliver the letter.

He rings the doorbell.   
"Hello, Zimmerman," Jackson answers.  
Flip looks around behind Jackson, "Hey Jackson, is (ysn) home?"  
"Not now, Why?"  
"I just was going to ask if they can mail this letter to y/n." He hands Jackson the letter.   
"Why?" Jackson takes the letter looking down at it.   
"Just ask, thanks, Jackson."   
"No guarantees," he yells as Flip walks away.

Dear Yn,

I hope your time in LA is treating you well. I'm writing to you today because I miss you too. The beer was nice. You were right I did like it, it was smooth and lightweight. Thanks for thinking of me and sending it I really appreciate it. I miss you so damn much and I wish you were here. I miss everything about you. I miss your cooking. I miss the little dance you do when you're about to eat. I want you to come home. I'm sorry I lied to you. I should've told you everything from the beginning instead of hiding it. I still love you and hope somewhere in your heart you still love me too. I'm also writing to you because I'm working on a crazy case that might put you and me in danger. So I'm glad you are in LA and not here with me. But still, feel free to come home but just not too soon. Let me wrap up this case first. We hired a black guy; he's a rookie and part of the undercover team with me and jimmy. Can you believe it? I've taken him under my wing, you know I'm showing him the ropes. But he recently reminded me of the importance of sticking up for what's right no matter the cots. Just like you used to. Like when you always gave money to the homeless. Or when you always donated turkeys during thanksgiving. Or that one time you tried to hire a black writer to the tribune at the risk of your own job and it worked. She still works there by the way. I check up on her. This town is getting crazy. There is so much more I want to say, but I'll save it for when I see you again. Anyway, I love you and miss you and can't wait for the day. I can see you again. 

-Love Flip

You smile the whole time you read the letter and wonder what kind of case would put you in danger. Also, has none of his cases put you in danger before. This guy. You find it funny how he was thinking of you and you him around the same time. Maybe It's time to go home. 

Three months pass.

Its Monday, and you arrive to work to find everyone starring at you as you walk past the rows of cubicles to your corner office. This is weird.   
You look for your boss in his office, but he's not there.   
You turn to go back to your office when Daniel, the intern, approaches you. He's white with brown hair and brown eyes. He walks with a little switch and has a high pitched voice. You're pretty sure he's gay. But don't ask, don't tell.   
"Y/n nice to see you this morning."  
"You too, Daniel were is Mr.Thompson (your boss)?" You know how to play Daniels game.   
"Oh, you didn't hear yeah, he's fired."  
"Oh no, when, and why?" You look shocked, and why would an intern know this.   
"Well, to answer those questions, you'll have to speak to Elliot. He whispers to you and points in the direction of Elliot's office. 

Elliot was the Chief Editor above you and Mr.Thompson.   
You knocked on Elliot's door.   
"Oh, y/n come in just the woman I wanted to see." Elliot is a short Jewish man with short black wavy hair and a beard.   
"How so?" You take a seat across from him, not waiting on an invitation.   
"Well, we fired your old English teacher, Mr. Thompson. Yes, we know all about your relationship."  
"It wasn't a secret; he was my high school senior year English teacher." You say, plainly.   
He looks shocked. "So y'all weren't fucking."  
"Of course not. Why would you even think that?" You question. You are so offended by his assumption about you and Mr. Thompson's relationship.   
"Just checking. But we can't have any nepotism in the office. You understand, right." It's clear he is making stuff up and trying to recover from his very wrong assumption of you.   
"Yep, I take it Daniel has my things." You say, unbothered.   
"Yes, actually, he does how did you know." he is quite puzzled at your calm demeanor.   
"Well, I know Daniels, your cousin. And seeing that he is the one who directed me to your office he would also know I was being fired. You know nepotism and things." You reply snarky   
You don't even wait for a reply. You turn around and leave, thus ending the conversation. Daniel is in your office, waiting for you with your box of things.   
You grab your things form Daniels's arms and walk toward the elevator. What a fucking day.

You called Mr.Thompson when you got home. You both agreed to meet at Norms for old time's sake and talk about what happened. 

After the phone call, you read through your mail and find a letter from Jimmy.

Dear Y/N

I know its been a while, but I'm really concerned about Flip. He had a really bad case that just messed with his mind. He hasn't been the same for weeks. Sharon and Rhonda cook him food, but he doesn't eat it. I know you guys are separated, but you're our last hope. Please come home asap. 

-Sincerely Jimmy.

Hmm, maybe its time you went home.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first fan-fic, so hI ope you enjoy it. The reader is a black woman so the story will be told from a black woman lens. (y/n) is your name. (ysn)= your sisters name. (yosn)= your other siblings name. (yht) =your hair type. (ybs) your body shape. ysln (your sisters last name). I'm sorry if the characters are not general enough. If you dont have any siblings feel free to make up names. Please feel free to leave feedback. Enjoy

You meet Mr. Thompson for dinner at Norms at 7 pm that Monday night. Mr. Thompson said he would get the table and just meet him there. Mr. Thompson was your senior English teacher. He's a black man with grey hair and deep brown eyes and a complexion like that of a Hershey's bar. Whenever he spoke it was with purpose and poise. He really invested time in you during your senior year. He loved your writing and helped you pursue your journalism career. 

Once inside of Norms, you pass the line and tell the waitress you're looking for a table under Mr. Thompson's. She scans her notes and tells you to follow her. You follow her to the back of the restaurant to a booth by the window. Mr.Thompson setting there alone. "Your guest Sir," the waitress says, alerting him of another presence. He stands to give you a hug,  
"How have you been?" He asks  
"As well as an unemployed woman can be, you?" You laugh and slide into the booth across from him.   
"Same, my old friend," he replies.   
"So, tell me what happened?" You ask  
"Well, I'm getting older. And I have leukemia."  
"What!?" You extend your arm across the table and hold his hand. He takes your hand in one hand and the other he places on top.   
"Yes, I haven't told you. I knew if you knew you would have never taken this chance to come back home to LA."  
"Well, that was for me to decide, not you."  
"I know, but you were always a daughter to me since I have no kids, and I could see it in your eyes the last time you visited that you wanted to stay. But your husband was pulling you a different way. Was he not?"  
"He was not?" You say, shyly letting his hand go.   
"Hello my names Heather I'll be you, waitress, can we start with drinks for the table? "The waitress interrupts.   
"Yes a Manhattan," you say  
"The same." Thompson replies.   
"I'll be right back." The waitress says.  
"No, he wasn't. He's from Colorado Springs that his hometown and I married him, so I stayed there. It's that simple."   
"Were you happy there?"  
"Yes, I was happy we had a life together. I worked at the local paper; he worked at the local police station. Everything was local." You say unconvincingly while looking out the window.  
"And here are your drinks, are we ready to order?" Heather interrupts.   
You sip your drink while Thompson orders for you both.   
"Yes, I'll have steak and eggs," Thompson says, and the lady will have the classic sirloin.   
"Coming right up." The waitress leaves you two. 

"So everything was local." Thompson continues  
"Yes, it was. Now back to the matter at hand you have cancer. When did you find out?" Changing the subject because this was getting way to personal too fast.   
"Three years ago. It was after my wife Cherry left me. You remember her.   
I was so sick, and she couldn't take it anymore. Last year I went into remission and I felt like I could take on the world. But Elliot found out and that with my old age, I wasn't the right fit for the job, and since I hired you, we were a bonded pair." He winks at you and takes a sip of his drink. 

"Hmm, I get it now. Why waste time on a dying old man."   
"Ding, ding, ding we have a winner."  
"That's not fair."  
"Honey, life isn't fair." He chuckles.   
"Don't I know it." You sink into the bench.   
"How do you know it?" He asks, raising an eyebrow at you.   
"I just do." You shrug.   
"Right, but how, my dear?"   
"Do you really want to know?" You sit up and put your elbows on the table.   
"Yes, it's written on your face that something is bothering you spill it out." He's laughing at you.  
"It's a long story. I don't want to waste our dinner date."  
"Oh, I have time for you always. My dear."  
"Fine." You tell him all about Flip and the cheating and the letters from him and jimmy. Then about the beer and life, you've lived since leaving Flip. 

By the end of storytime, your orders had arrived, and plates are scraped clean. 

"So, that's why you waited to last minute to accept my offer."  
"Yes, it was."  
"I get why you were upset; he lied and cheated on you. But you got to hand it to the man he has guts to fuck the women he's about to backstab."  
"Well, I never thought about that. I wasn't really concerned about his courage."  
"I know you weren't. But he's exposing himself to this woman for the sake of women and children he's never met. Did he ever meet that 15yr old girl that helped launch the investigation?"  
"I don't know I never asked."  
"Hmm, well, if he didn't, it sure took some balls to just go after them. You know these crime syndicates are no joke. We have a lot of them here in LA."  
"I know I've met a few just by working at the paper."   
"Yep, they buy the paper to control what it prints about them. Another reason I'm glad we don't work there anymore. Listen, kid, your husband may have made a douce move, but it wasn't in spite of you. It was because of you that he knew he was those girls only hope. Any updates?"  
"About the case?"  
"Yes, dummy."  
"No, I haven't asked?"  
"So did you use this case and his actions as an excuse to come home or what was it? Did you ever tell him about your LA opportunity?"  
You don't look at him. Cause you know the answer its a yes and a no or maybe so.   
"Or did you shut Flip out for selfish reasons when he was selfless. He didn't care about that woman he cared about you and what you would think if he had done nothing. So he did everything in his power. You don't respond, so he says, So it was both I take it."  
"He should have told me instead of just lying to me. You raise your voice a little. I'm proud of him as a cop but disappointed in him as a husband. Yes, it was both. I used Flips cheating as an out. An out to see what could have been if I wasn't married to him. I feel guilty about that. But he's with me everywhere I go. I haven't cheated on him while here. Even though I've had the opportunity to do so many times. I just feel like half of me is with him. Mr.Thompson what will I do?" You put your hands on your face.   
He moves your hands off your face, "Listen, we have moved passed teacher-student. Passed mentor-mentee, It's carl."  
"Okay, carl. I didn't tell Flip cause I was afraid he would get overly protective and jealous as he sometimes does. Plus, he's a little insecure about our age difference. "  
"How old is he."  
"He's 36."  
"Oh, you're what 27." You nod, yes.  
"Okay, nine years not common but not rare. You met him fresh out of college, huh?"  
"Yes, fresh meat. He was older and had just come home from his first tour in Nam he had a certain sex appeal."  
"Okay I take it back I'm Mr.Thompson again; don't talk to me about that stuff." You both laugh.  
"Listen, you were always mature for your age, and he obviously is madly in love with you; he just made some poor choices. All men do. Shit I did in my marriage and when I went to fix it it was too late. I can't tell you what to do, but I will say this. Listen to your gut it will never steer you wrong. You hear me." He points at you.   
"Yes, I hear you."  
"Now, since your my daughter, I'll pay for dinner, but don't make this a pattern, okay."  
You smile and laugh okay,

Once the bill is paid, Carl drives you home. 

Once outside your duplex, he says, "listen to your gut, you hear me."   
"Yes, sir." You waive goodbye.

You sit on your couch, thinking about what your "gut" is telling you. You hope it's not too late to call your sister. 

"This is the (ysln) residence."  
"(YSN) it y/n."  
"Well, hello there. Did you get Flips letter?   
"Yes, that was months ago."   
"Well, did you get Jimmy's letter?"  
"Yes, today, why?"  
"We went to see Flip."   
"You have got to stop opening my mail its a felony."   
"Well, when it's not addressed to you yet and its dropped off at my house It's my mail."  
"Wait. You went to see Flip?"  
"Yes, me and Jackson, and he isn't good. He's lost a lot of weight, and the house smells horrible. I'm going over tomorrow to clean."  
"He won't let you do that. He's stubborn." You twirl the phone cord between your fingers. Your nervous for some reason. You know what you have to do but you're scared. What if Flip doesn't want you anymore?  
"Oh, yes, he will. Jimmy and Jackson came up with a plan to get him out of the house."  
"What's the plan exactly?"  
"I don't know they didn't give me details just that they have a plan. Okay."  
"Okay well, I'm coming home. I'll get everything in order here, and I'll be there Wednesday."   
"That soon, what about your job."  
"About that, I got fired."  
"What why? Tell me everything." 

After two hours on the phone, you had to let your (ysn) go. It was way past both of your bedtime. You walk to your bedroom, imaging just how bad Flip had gotten and what about this case would cause him to spiral so bad. You said a prayer the first since breakfast with Aiden and went to bed. 

Tuesday morning, you called your landlord first thing. He understood about breaking the lease and wouldn't penalize you. Plus, everyone is looking for a place in LA, so he's not worried about a vacancy. The next thing was to sell the furniture. You put up signs all around the neighborhood and called your older sibling and told them to tell all their friends too. Within three hours, all of your furniture was gone except your mattress. Someone bought that off you and would pick it up tomorrow once you were gone. Your older sibling would take care of that. 

After an eventful day, you wind down on your empty living room floor with (yosn).  
"Well, it's a good thing you moved this week." They say while lying down on your floor.   
"Why?"  
"Cause I move to San Fran next week?" They sit up on their elbows, looking at you.   
"Oh, right, I forgot. Sorry. Well thanks for your help. I really appreciate it. I know I won't be here to help you move."  
"No problem I knew you would go back."  
"No, you didn't shut up?" You punch them with your lips pressed together and squinted eyes.  
"The whole "emergencies only," girl you were waiting for him to catch something or break something. Which would have happened in his life of work."  
"Okay thanks for that reminder."  
"That's what I'm here for. So tomorrow I pick you up at what time?"  
"5 am for the flight."  
"Damb! why so early?"   
"Its the only flight I could get so soon. Also, I'm flying out of Burbank airport."  
"Of course, the whitest airport of all."  
"That's not true; it's just smaller than LAX and less crazy."   
"Okay fine ill be here."   
"And don't forget to meet my landlord and drop the keys off at 9, and the guy will be here at 8.30 for the mattress."   
"Okay do everything for you tomorrow got it."   
You know you love me". You squeal while hugging them tightly.   
"I do, but I don't know why."  
You hug them again and say goodbye. You lock your door behind them. 

You pack three suitcases full of clothes and other things. Your older sibling said they would mail everything else you had. You hope Flip isn't too surprised on Wednesday. You can't wait to see him; you had butterflies all night just thinking about it. 

Wednesday 

You wake at 3 am. And make sure everything is packed, and the place is clean. Your sibling arrives at 4.30 to take you to Burbank. Your wearing tan corduroy pants with snake printed boots, a brown turtle neck, and a checkered coat with a brown barre. (Yosn) helps you carry your luggage down the steps and into their car. 

You arrive in Burbank by 4.45 (yosn) help you with your luggage and walk you to your gate.   
At Burbank airport, you board outside, so they stay inside with you until 5.15, which is your flight time. You say your goodbyes and you board your flight. 

You arrive at Denver airport at 7 am. A skycap helps you with your bags and follows you to pick up. (ysn) is waiting for you in her yellow Volkswagen bug. How are you going to fit three suitcases in there? Surprisingly you do two in the trunk and one in the back seat it's a tight fit none the less. Once everything is put away, you both stand outside of the car and talk. 

"So, you're really moving back?" (ysn)  
"Yes."  
"How's (yosn)? "  
"They're good; they're moving to San Fran next week."  
"Really good for them. They belong there."  
"I know, right."  
"Shall we get this show on the road."  
"Yep it's now or never."


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a line in this chapter from one of my favorite songs called Homewrecker by Travis Garland, check it out it goes with this chapter.   
> Chapter Keys,   
> (y/n) is your name. (ysn)= your sisters name. (yosn)= your other siblings name. (yht) =your hair type. (ybs) your body shape. ysln (your sisters last name). I'm sorry if the characters are not general enough. If you don't have any siblings feel free to make up names. Please feel free to leave feedback. Enjoy

Present-day

You stand and lean on the kitchen counter to stand across from Flip.   
"Now I wouldn't say no contact. I mailed you a crate of beer, and you liked it.  
"Really, you want to talk about the beer?"  
"So, why are you here. I don't think it's to talk about the beer from a year ago."   
"It wasn't a year ago Flip, that was like four months ago, and no, that's not why I'm here." He just stares at you with a black expression waiting for you to say something else. But you have nothing else to say he's a real ass right now.   
"So are you going to spill it."   
"When did you get so sassy?"  
"Why the fuck are you here?" He yells at you. Then he puts his head down as if he was ashamed for yelling at you.

"I'm here because I miss you. You yell back. You both look away from each other. And everyone is really concerned about your health. After seeing you, I am too." 

"Whose everyone?"  
"Jimmy, Ysn, Jackson, and Rhonda and me."

"Well, I'm fine." He turns to look out the kitchen window.   
"No, you are not. Have you looked at yourself lately? How much weight have you lost?"  
He doesn't answer; he just finishes his beer. And burps, eww.   
"Excuse you flip."  
"Oh so now I'm Flip in your last letter I was Phillip."   
"I know."  
"Do you know, do you know." He gets up from the table and gets in your face.  
"I remember what I wrote, yes." You stand up not backing down. Flip has never been this temperamental with you. He must really be going through something terrible. He sits back down with an apologetic look on his from his recent outburst.  
"No you don't know how depressing this year and a half has been. I've been so lost without you." He starts to sob. His head hangs low, and his shoulders begin to move.   
You walk towards him slowly. You meet his height with him sitting in the chair.   
You run your fingers through his raven-colored hair and kiss his neck.   
"You're right. I don't know. But don't act like it hasn't been hard on me too. It was too hard for me stay. I'm sorry." You begin to cry too.  
You didn't want to break so easily. You tried to hold off and be mad just a little while longer. But you couldn't. Not seeing him with bags under his eye and his face so skinny. 

"When's the last time you've eaten a home-cooked meal?" you pull away from him to ask.   
"Yesterday."  
"Good. What did you have?"  
"Oatmeal."  
"Oatmeal is not a home-cooked meal." You pulled his face up.  
"Yes, it is. I was home, and I cooked it." He says looking at your with conviction.   
"Fine, I'm making breakfast." You walk away from him, to the fridge to find nothing but more leftover pizza. "I thought Jackson and Jimmy took you out yesterday?" You say while you look through the refrigerator.   
"They tried I wouldn't go."   
"Okay, well, we need food in the house." you close the fridge door and face him again.   
"There is a WE now. And I don't need food in this house. I'm fine."  
"We..do need food, and you are not fine." You stand your ground hands on hips. Where are my car keys?"  
"Why do you need your car keys?"  
"I'm going to the grocery store." You start looking around the kitchen for your keys.   
"No, you're not. "He steps in your way.  
"Flip come on, I'm going. Are you coming with me?" You look you at him. He's looking beyond you deciding what he's going to do.   
"Fine, I'll come." 

You roll your eyes. He was always so controlling you don't miss this. It takes him five seconds to get shoes on, and you notice how his flannels don't fill out the way they used to, how you've missed those arms. Okay, focus on groceries lady.

"Are you coming?" he asks, gesturing for you to come on because you are just staring at him.

"Yes coming." you reply   
He grabs the keys to his truck and goes out the front door you follow.   
He locks the door and heads for the truck — same old pick up. You wait for him to get inside and open your door from the inside. You hop in.   
The cab smells like pine and cigarettes Flips signature smell. You could use one right now.

The drive to the store is silent.   
He parks in front of the market and hops out as if forgetting you are there. He would normally open your door, but you realize you've been sitting inside, and he's already walking toward the store without you.   
You hop out and lock the doors and run after him  
"Hey, don't leave me?" you yell as you speedwalk to catch up to him.  
"Oh, I forgot you were there." He stops walking so he can catch up.  
He might be older than you, but he is acting like a freaking child right now.   
You grab a basket and walk inside with Flip.   
"What do you want for dinner?"  
He doesn't respond; he just walks behind you.  
"Fine, I'll pick."   
You decide on doing a pork roast. You grab carrots, potatoes, red onions, garlic, and shallots. Then you head to the butcher. You grab 3lbs of pork roast and 2lb of bacon 2lb of chicken and 1lb of Italian sausage. Next is eggs, milk, cereal, and English muffins. You just grab whatever at this point there is no food in this house. Flip only follows you like a sick puppy.

FPV (Flip's Point of View) 

I watch her take over this store like she owns it. She's wearing tan flared pants with brown snakeskin boots, a brown turtle neck, and a checkered jacket. Her curly hair is tucked under a brown barre. I cant see her ass, but I bet it looks good in those pants. I hear her calling my name its like a sea siren. Flip, Flip, I feel a pinch on my boob.   
"What the hell?" I swat her hand away.   
"I've been calling. You have stuck a trance," she says with a smile, she knows I've been staring Fuck. "Look in the basket, tell me if you can think of anything else."  
I scan the basket and see all my favorites. My mouth starts salivating already. Fuck, she's good.   
"No, it's all fine."  
"Are you sure?" she's giving me a questioning look.   
I'm not sure. I want some of her cornbread. She makes it with real corn on the inside, and its all buttery and moist, but I won't tell her that she already caught me staring I won't let her win this round.   
"Oh, I forgot cornbread stay here. I'll be back," she says as she runs off as if in a hurry. It's like she read my mind. She can have this round, not that we're in competition or anything. 

YPV (Your Point of View)

I return to find Flip categorizing the basket meats in the back, then dairy, then cans, and such. "I'm back", you announce he just stares at you. You hand him the items in your arm for him to categorize.   
He just stares at you again.   
"Can you put these in the basket, please?"  
He obliges you cause you know he's dying for some of your cornbread. 

You walk up to register and get ready to pay until Flip pushes you out of the way and pays. Okay, Mr. Zimmerman, one for one. Once the bagger bags everything, you head back to the car. Flip unlocks his side and opens the door for you. He then walks to the bed of the truck to put your groceries in there everything except the eggs.   
You hop in and slide to the passenger seat and wait for him; He hands you the eggs before getting in the truck. 

The drive home is silent too. You don't mind. You look outside the car window as you pass the local school and see the kids playing tetherball outside. You smile and giggle a little, thinking of Aiden. Flip turns to look at you to see you with a huge smile on your face, he wonders what you're thinking about.  
You turn to face him this time you catch him staring. He turns back to face the road. Hmm two for one, you think. You'll be winning by the end of breakfast or brunch cause its 10 am now.   
Flip parks and goes to the bed of the truck to get groceries. He tries to take all the bags in one.   
"Flip you cant do that let me help you?" you reach to take a bag from him.   
He moves out of your grasp, no I got this.   
"No you don't, how are you going to open the front door with all those bags?"  
He looks down to try to figure out a comeback but he can't, "Fine you take half and I'll take half. "  
"Fair." You move closer to him so he can share his load.   
He goes in the house first and then stops abruptly, and you bump into him.   
"Something wrong you ask?"  
"No why?"  
"You're standing in the middle of the foyer I can't get inside the house."   
"Oh sorry." He says as he moves to the side so you can enter the house.   
"No worries." You say as you walk past him and place the groceries on the kitchen table.   
"I'll put the groceries away. You go take a shower and relax." You turn to look at him.   
He just nods and does as told.  
Before you put things away, you clean the fridge.  
He's a little embarrassed that's why he stopped in the doorway he could finally see what a mess the house was. He didn't want you to see him like this. He thinks as he retreats to the bedroom. 

Once he's gone, you feel like you can finally clean the house.   
You open up the arcadia door in the living room. You open up the blinds and dust just flies into your face. You cough and swat the dust away; you'll have to dust those later. 

As you move around the living room, you find the record player to the left of the arcadia door, with a record stand next to it. You search through and find your Diana Ross album and play your favorite "ain't no mountain high enough". Music on and set to the highest volume, you feel like you can really get to cleaning.   
You grab a trash liner from the kitchen and clean off the coffee table in the living room. While singing along to our favorite tune. 

Flip can hear your music from the bedroom. He finds the song ironic. But he knows you chose it cause it's your favorite. He decided he should try to impress you, so he moves to the bathroom and finally looks himself in the mirror. Wow, he does look skinny; he had deep black bags under his eyes. He runs his fingers through his hair as you did earlier. He thinks back to your earlier conversation, he didn't even acknowledge that you had said sorry. Why were you the one apologizing? He better get it together with you finally home-like he's always wanted. 

While Flip is in the shower, the living room has been semi-cleaned. Breakfast is almost ready. You have bacon and eggs English muffins with country fried potatoes. You were just pulling the muffins out the toaster when you hear the record start to skip. You run over and choose another one, Ella Fitzgerald "Cry me a river." 

When you turn to head back into the kitchen. You catch Flip staring at your backside, since you had to bend over to fix the record, you smile at this and say   
"Breakfasts is ready."  
Damn it, he thinks you caught him red-handed. But your ass did look good under that jacket just like he thought back at the grocery store. 

You serve him his plate, and then you make yours.   
You eat in silence with Ella playing in the back.   
"So, how was LA?"  
You look up surprised he even asked.  
"It was nice."   
"Good im glad. How long are you staying?"  
"For good, I'm hoping, why?"  
"What about la?"  
"What about la?"  
"You have a life there no, with (yosn) and Mr. Thompson and The Times?  
"Well, I was fired from the Times, and Mr.Thompson has leukemia and (yosn) is moving to San Fran next week. So no, I don't have a life there anymore." You look down as if defeated that LA didn't work out for you as you had hoped.   
"Shit, that's a lot. I didn't know, I'm sorry. "Flip bits is inner lip. He looks at you and finds your head is down and your playing with your food. Why did he have to ruin the moment. He'll have to ask why you were fired later, but for now, is not the time.   
"It's okay. I would have had to tell you sometime anyway." You get up as if to end the conversation. Both plates are finished. You stand to take his plate to wash it, but he instead he pulls you to his lap. And hugs you.   
You are so stunned you don't move. He moves his chair back and pulls you down so you can wrap your legs around his hips. When your both comfortable, you place your head on his shoulder and wrap your arms around his waist. You both start to cry. He rubs his hands up and down your back. You sniff his neck and run your fingers up and down his neck.   
Once the crying is over, Flip lifts your head to look into your eyes, and he sees nothing but loneliness.   
You speak first, "I've missed you so much. I'm sorry I left you all alone. You omitted truths and did other shady stuff but it was for a good cause. I neglected that fact. I'm sorry."   
Flip doesn't say anything. He just wipes the tears from your eyes.   
You look up to see Flip's eyes have turned dark brown, and his pupils widen. He's aroused; you can feel it. I mean, you are technically straddling him. Before you know it, Flips plate is thrown to the floor, and the plate shatters and silverware clashed against the tile. Flip stands up, supporting your back and places you on the table.   
"What the hell, Flip." You say lifting yourself up onto your elbows to look at the mess.   
"Nothing wrong with breaking things, don't worry, you'll clean up the mess with me." He winks at you.   
You smirk at his reply. 

He's towering over you now both hands on either side of you. He leans down and start kissing you. He's tongue searching for an entrance. You let him in. He is clearly dominating the kiss. It's very sloppy like you two are some horny teenagers. Your hands are in his hair pulling him closer to you. His hands roam your body as if he's trying to trace your shape in his mind. He finds your breast's and stars fondling them. He pulls at your shit to untuck it from your pants. He places his hand underneath and starts moving, moving his hand on your stomach; your eyes widen. He stops abruptly, and you feel him trace your scar on your lower abdomen.  
"When did you get this?" He asks all out of breath.  
"Uhm about three months after I left." You say as you wipe off your mouth.   
"From what?"  
"A surgery."  
"You had surgery and didn't tell me?" He raises his voice at you. By now, he's standing up by the edge of the kitchen table.  
"I had fibroids on one of my ovaries. It was large and causing me to have severe cramping in my stomach. So I had to get it removed, and it left a scar." You say as if it was nothing serious. As your telling him this, he starts pacing the kitchen.   
"That didn't fall under your "emergencies only" rule?" He asks, staring daggers into you.  
"Why is everyone bringing that up." You whisper to yourself and shake your head. "It . I ... I was afraid to tell you about it. (Ysn) told me I should've told you, but I didn't want to stress you out about it. It was just a fibroid. I agree with them I should have told you. I'm sorry." You look finally look up at him and see he's confused by this new revelation.   
"What does it mean then? Can you still get pregnant?"   
"I think I can. But I haven't tried lately." You start laughing. You just made out does he think he's getting lucky tonight.   
"This isn't funny."  
"You are right; it's not. You turn on your serious face. But I don't think we should be worried about kids right now. We have a lot to figure out first."   
"I know that damn. He fixes his hair to move it out of his face. I was just asking, that's all."   
The room fell silent again. You're still on the table, rocking your feet back and forth off the edge. Flip is leaning against the kitchen counter with his head down.   
You hop off the kitchen table. "So, about the mess you made."


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Keys
> 
> (y/n) is your name. (ysn)= your sisters name. (yosn)= your other siblings name. (yht) =your hair type. (ybs) your body shape. ysln (your sisters last name). I'm sorry if the characters are not general enough. If you don't have any siblings feel free to make up names. Please feel free to leave feedback. Enjoy

Flip laughs and says; I'll clean it up."  
"Good, let me check on the roast." You make your way into the kitchen.  
The roast is sitting nicely inside a bed of vegetables in the crockpot.  
Flip gets the broom and dustpan to clean the glass off the floor and dumps the dustpan contents in the trash can.  
You move to the sink to clean the pans you've used for breakfast.  
Flip watches you from the trash can. You just stepped in the house again after two years and is now acting as if you've never left. 

"I'm calling the girls over to help me clean." You say, pulling him away from his thoughts.  
"Why are you calling them? "he's getting angry again.  
"There is too much work to do for one person." You sigh and stop doing the dishes.  
"I could help."  
"Flip I think you should get out of the house. Just for a few hours." You turn to look his way.  
"You come back out of the blue and think you can start giving me orders. We still have things we need to work out." Flip yells at you.  
"I'm not saying that we don't. You say in a pleading manner. I just want to clean the house, that's it. My sister came over yesterday, trying to help you didn't answer the door. Now I'm here let me help for christ sake." You yell and throw the dishrag.  
"It's fine the way it is." he shrugs.  
"Flip the wood floors haven't been clean in years it looks like. I'm afraid to take off my shoes." You retort back.  
"Whose fault is that." He points his finger at you.  
"Not mine, your a grown-ass man; you can clean anytime you want." You move closer to him, daring him to say something else.  
"You can't make me leave." He looks down at you with his hands on his hips.  
"You're right, I can't. But either way, we're are about to have company." You smack your tongue. 

Flip storms off and retreats to the garage. 

You walk over the rotary phone and start making calls. You call (ysn) first.  
"Hello."  
"Hey, it's me."  
"Oh, how's it going."  
"I'll tell you when you get here, I need help cleaning the house."  
"Yes, that's right I tried yesterday's, but he wouldn't even open the door."  
"I know. Bring cleaning supplies I couldn't find any."  
"Okay, bye."

Next, it's Rhonda 

"This is Rhonda."  
"Hey, Rhonda, it's YN."  
"Oh my god, love, where are you?"  
"I'm at Flips. "  
"No, shit. How's it going?" She asks.  
"It's going. Hey I need reinforcements to clean this house. Can you come over, please?"  
"Of course jimmy and I have been trying to clean that house for months. I'm on my way."

Lastly Sharon.  
"Bridges residence."  
"Hello, Sharon, it's (yn)."  
"What! I haven't heard from you in months, how's it been?"  
"I'm good."  
"Wait you're not calling me from LA are you that would be an expensive long-distance call."  
"No, I'm not in LA. I'm...," she cuts you off.  
"Oh you're at (ysn) house; tell them I said hi."  
"I will, but I'm not there either."  
"Where are you then?"  
"I'm at Flips."  
"Oh wow. Long pause. When did that happen?"  
"This morning."  
"Okay and what's the scoop." her voice perks up shes ready for the gossip.  
"I'll tell you more I just need all the help I can get with cleaning this house. Can you come over, please?"  
"Yes, I'll be there. Let me just tell the boys."  
"Cool thanks, see you soon." 

Flip is still in the garage doing whatever when everyone arrives.  
Rhonda brought jimmy, and (ysn) brought Jackson and Aiden. 

Before you can open the door, you hear everyone talking outside.  
Why did she come home all of a sudden?  
Flip must be pissed.  
His truck is here, so he's here.  
Yes, but where? 

"He's in the garage," you say as you open the door.  
Everyone looks at you like they've been caught gossiping.  
You leave the door open and everyone walks in. You get the boy's beers.  
You hand Jimmy and Jackson a beer and one more for Flip and lead them to the garage.  
You decide you should tell Flip he has company he doesn't need surprises anymore.  
You knock first, no answer.  
You open the door and say  
"Hope you're decent, you have company." You laugh, but Flip just stares at you unamused.  
The boys walk in.  
"Hey Flip," they both say.  
You leave them to it. 

The girls and Aiden are in the living room on the couch. They've placed all the cleaning supplies on the kitchen counter. 

Aiden runs up to you and gives you the biggest hug. 

You squeeze him so tight.  
"I've missed you so much aunty," Aiden says while snuggling into your bosom.  
"You to baby." You rub his head.  
The women watch the interaction with smiles. You talk for a little bit, all catching up before getting to business.  
Then they hear the boys walk in. 

Flip sees you holding Aiden in your arms and remembers your earlier conversations about kids.  
What would it be like if you two did have a kid? He wonders. Aiden jumps out of your arms to Flip.  
"Uncle Flip!" he screams as he runs to FLip.  
Flip gets down on one knee and catches the kid. He hugs Aiden and spins him around for a bit. Aiden is laughing the whole time hysterically.  
Jimmy coughs, ending playtime.  
Flip puts Aiden down, Aiden, "go back to your aunt."  
"Okay", Aiden runs back to your arms, still giggling. 

"We are heading out should be back in a few hours. Don't wait up" said Jimmy. 

"Okay, bye then." (ysn) says.  
Aiden stayed in your lap while the boys left.  
Once the boys were gone  
"Spill everything." (YSN) says 

"Not much has happened. We went grocery shopping. I made breakfast and cleaned up as much as I could. That's been our day." You say, nonchalantly.  
"Did you hear her "our day". Rhonda teases.  
You roll your eyes and get up to turn on the TV for Aiden.  
"Aiden, I'll turn cartoons on for you while we girls clean. Do you want snacks?" You ask, and he just nods his head yes. 

(Ysn) makes snacks for Aiden while you divvy up responsibilities.  
"Rhonda floors."  
"Ysn the kitchen."  
"I'll take the bathrooms."  
"Sharon, you have the laundry."  
"Aye Aye, Captin." They all respond in unison.  
Since Aiden's here, you can't listen to your music it will drown out his cartoons.  
You make your way to the guest bathroom and find it wasn't too dirty. Everything was as you left it in the guest bath. You can tell Flip never used it. It took you 10 min to clean.  
Next, the master bedroom as you walk down the hallway, you see all the pics of you and flip and the family along the walls — pictures of when the two of you were happy and in love. The times have changed.  
The master bedroom door is open. 

The kings sized canapé bed it against the wall facing the master bathroom. The walls are a light blue Flips fav color.  
You place your hand on the comforter and trace the embroidery as you walk along the bed.  
You notice that your side of the bed is sunken in. He must sleep there now. The right side was yours, and the left side was his that's how it used to be. You sit on your side of the bed, and notice on the gold nightstand is a photo of you. The first photo flip ever took of you. It was the fall of 1967 your first year together. Your curls were down with a middle part, and you were wearing a sweater dress striped. He wanted to take a photo of you cause he said you looked pretty. You didn't feel pretty that day, but his kind words bright a smile to your face.  
You smile at the photo feeling the tears coming on. It's time to move on (yn) you whisper to yourself. 

You move to the master bathroom, and it's a pigsty.  
Clothes all over the floor. Pee stains on the toilet when you lifted up the seat. We won't even talk about the tub. 1 hour and 30 min later the master bath is clean. 

You make your way outside the room and notice your luggage was moved to the guest room.  
"Did anyone move my luggage,? "  
"No, I found it in the guest room." Says Sharon.  
"Flip must have moved it then," you say.  
You help Sharon with the laundry and Rhonda is done with the floors. Your sibling is cleaning the blinds. 

Everyone arrived at two it's now five, and the whole house is cleaned. 

The men aren't home yet. The roast is ready might as well eat. You'll make your cornbread, so Flip can have some when he comes back. 

"Anyone hungry, I made a huge roast? Least I can do to thank you for your help." You look at the girls and Aiden. 

Everyone's eating around the table, asking you about how LA went. You're asking Sharon about the boys, Rhonda, about her vintage collection, and your sister about Aiden and Jackson. 

The men come back. Flip enters the room first, Jimmy and Jackson behind.  
You all stop chatting.  
Sharon asks, "you boys hungry?" 

"I'm always hungry." says jimmy  
"Ooh is that your famous pork roast yes please," says Jackson.  
"Good I'll make plates," you announce, getting up from the kitchen table.  
The women move from the table to the living room couch.  
Flip doesn't respond he just sits down.  
You make plates for the men and place your cornbread on the table just for Flip.  
He looks up at you and turns his head away, so you don't see his smile. You remembered his favorite side to your roast. 

You and the rest of the women leave the men to it. 

You're on the living room floor coloring with Aiden and asking him about school. He's so excited to tell you all about it. Since he's in kindergarten almost about to enter first grade now, you've been gone for that long. While Ronda, Sharon, and (YSN) are all chatting about something. 

It's seven, and Sharon is the first to leave. You make plates for her to take home to the boys. Then Rhonda and Himmy follow. (YSN) and Jackson decides they better head out too. 

Bye Thanks for dinner they all say. 

You walk out with Aiden in your arms. He fell asleep on you. You put him in Jackson's car and look at your sister. 

"What's that look for?" Questioning your sister.  
"He was watching you all night."  
"He's been doing that all day actually."  
"I think its weird."  
"Me too." You both laugh.  
"So when I was cleaning the kitchen I saw broken glass in the trash. Did he throw a plate at you?" She says with a very serious look in her eyes.  
"No, it wasn't that." You smile and look away.  
"Oh, you threw it at him. You were always so violent." She nods her head.  
"No, he threw it off the table when we were making out. Earlier today."  
She gasps at you. And you leave before she can reprimand you.  
"Love you bye." You say as you run to the house. 

You run inside cause it's freezing and you aren't wasting a jacket. You wave goodbye again from your porch, and once they are out of sight, you head inside. 

Flips watching from the door way and opens the door for you and closes it behind you. 

You walk past him and into the kitchen.  
"I'll do the dishes," he says so sternly.  
"No, it's fine, I'm already here."  
Flip walks into the kitchen and blocks the sink.  
"I'll do the dishes and put the food away."  
"Okay, if you say so." You walk backwards out of the kitchen with your hand up as if surrendering. 

"I'm going to get ready for bed."  
You walk into the guest room and open your luggage. You grab a pajama pant set and some clean towels and walk into the guest bathroom. 

You take a quick shower. Cause your pretty exhausted from cooking and cleaning. Don't forget about the flight, ugh just everything. You put on your lotion and moisturize your face. And head to the guest room. 

Fpv 

I'm drying the dishes off. When I hear the guest bathroom shower. I finish drying the dishes and head down the hall. The guest bedroom door is open; her suitcases are in there. I did move them in here before we left for the grocery store. I want to tell her she can sleep with me, but she probably needs her space. I hear the guest bathroom door open, and I run out to the living room. 

You're all ready for bed now. It's probably best you say goodnight to Flip.  
"Flip", you yell from the hallway.  
"I'm in here." He yells from the living room.  
You walk into the living room standing in the hallway once you see Flip drinking a beer on the couch.  
"Oh. Hey I'm going to hit the hay. Do you work tomorrow?"  
"Yes."  
"Okay, can you leave me my car keys so I can run my errands tomorrow."  
"What errands do you have?" He asks in a sharp tone. He is just staring at you blankly.  
"Well I was going to go visit the tribune and ask for my old job back. So before you leave tomorrow morning, can you leave the keys on the table." You respond politely despite his attitude.  
"Sure. "Flip just takes another swig of his beer. He is not bothering to look at you.  
"Thanks, good night."  
"Night."

You don't think you've ever slept in the guest bedroom. But you've invaded Flip's space so much already you want to give him time. On your way down the hall, you see the door to your office is cracked. You haven't been in there either. So you decide to take a look. 

On the wall to the left of the door is your dark wood desk and pink plush chair. Your blue typewriter is on the desk with old newspaper clipping scrambled across. Decorating the walls are article clip outs of the best stories you've edited over the years dating back to your college newspaper days. 

As you walk further in the room, you see a stack of newspapers on the floor next to the lamp.  
You sit down on the floor and grab the stack. The first newspaper you see reads LA Times. Your start trimming through the stack to find they are all LA Times papers. 

Flip decides he should get some sleep too. He grunts as he gets up from the coach and dumps his beer in the trash. And begins to walk down towards the room. 

He stops to see if you're asleep in the guest room and finds it empty.  
Where could you be?  
He turns to the master; you're not there either.  
Next, he goes to your office. Sure enough, you're in there.  
He watched you from the doorway as you read through the stacks of newspapers.  
Until he realizes those are the ones from the LA Times. He doesn't want you to see him. He doesn't want you to know he was secretly stalking you in away.  
Right when he's about to take his leave. He hears a sob coming from the room. 

He puts his head down he can't just leave you crying and alone. He knocks on the door. 

"Hey, you okay?"  
You jump, "fuck flip you scared me." Holding a newspaper to your chest.  
"Sorry I didn't mean to I wanted to check on you. See if you're alright." His hands in the air as if to say he means no harm.  
You wipe the tears from your eyes.  
"Yes I'm fine. Thanks."  
You just stare down at the mess of newspapers you've made. You are not okay, he subscribed to the la times just for you. Ugh, you and Flip are so dramatic.  
"Don't worry about the mess I'll clean up tomorrow before I leave." You sniffle out.  
"I wasn't worried about that. I'm worried about you, are you sure your okay. You can sleep in the master bed and ill sleep in the guest." You shake your head no.  
"I'm okay just surprised you subscribed to the Times, that's all. I don't want to invade your space any more than I have today. Anyways, I think I should really be heading to bed. I think we can both say we've had an exhausting day." You chuckle out.  
"Yep." He just nods at you. A little defeated that you didn't take him up on his offer.  
Flip is still standing in the way of the door when you get up to exit.  
"Excuse me flip." You're staring up at him.  
"Oh, yeah sorry." He moves out of your way, looking down at the mess you made.  
"Night again." You say while walking past him.  
"Night." He turns to watch you leave. 

You walk across the hall to the guest room and close the door.  
Flip watches you walk away and wants to say something, but he doesn't know-how. You closed the door anyway the moment is gone.


	11. Chapter 10.2

Flips point of view. 

Flips in the garage fixing your car. He's been working on it since you've been gone. It gives him something to do. He'll let you call the "girls" over to clean even though he feels like you are exaggerating. The house wasn't that bad till he looked at the bottom of his socks, and they were pitch black. Maybe the wood floors did need cleaning. He lost track of time while fixing your radiator. When he hears you knock. 

"Hope you're decent." You say as you open the door.   
I am not even bothering to look up at you.   
You laugh at my indifference, "You've got company."  
Oh no. I just want to be alone.   
"What's up, Flip," says Jimmy.   
"Hey, Jim." Jimmy's hands Flip a beer.   
I take the beer form, Jimmy.   
"Hi, Jackson," I say.   
Jackson nods back, "What you working on?"  
"Her car." I take a swig of the cold beer.   
"What's wrong with it."  
"Oh, nothing. I was just replacing the radiator."   
"Did she try to drive it today?" Jimmy asks while sitting on the stool next to Flips tools.   
"No, it just gives me something to do." I walk over to the tool table to grab a cloth to wipe my greasy hands-off.   
Jim and Jackson just stand around your car, looking down at the engine.   
"So, how's it going?" Jackson   
"It's going alright." I lean on the car and try to look all calm about things.   
"Have you told her about the case." Says jimmy   
"Which one the one she left me about or the new one."  
"Both," says jimmy.   
"No, we haven't gotten too that part yet."  
"Well, what are you going to do? She's home now like you've always wanted." Jackson nudges me.   
"I know it seems unreal. You should've seen the way she looked at me this morning. It was with pity. I mean, do I look that bad." I motion my hands down and up my body. I can't look that bad.   
"You've lost some weight Flip," Jimmy says, looking down at the floor.   
"You don't look yourself," adds Jackson.   
That seems to end the conversation beers finished between them.   
"Come on, let's get something stronger."  
"But, It's 2:30 in the afternoon." I don't want to leave the house.   
"It's 5 o'clock somewhere." Jimmy pushes Flip out the garage. 

I get my shoes and Sherpa jacket, and I'm ready.   
I walk from the bedroom to the living room to meet up with the boys to find you sitting on the living room floor with Aiden in your lap. What if we did have kids? You'd be so good with them; I shake the idea out of my head.   
"Hi, uncle Flip," Aiden says, running towards me.   
I kneel down to catch Aiden in his arms.   
"Hey buddy flip," replies. I pick Aiden up and swings him around. Aiden starts laughing uncontrollably.   
Jimmy coughs, signaling for me to stop.   
I put Aiden down and sees everyone staring and clears his throat.   
"Go back to your Aunty," I say, and Aiden runs to you and sits right back in your lap.   
"We're leaving, don't wait up." Says Jimmy, and he walks out the door. 

At the bar, I order a whiskey neat for the whole gang. 

"So, I hear things didn't go so well in LA for her." Says Jackson.   
"No, she was fired," Flip confirms.   
"Why, did she say?"  
Flip finishes his drink and asks for another round, "No, she didn't; we haven't gotten very far, alright." He puts his hands up in the air as if to get the boys off his case.   
"Hmm, she always wanted that job," Jackson says  
"Yep, I know. She had surgery too", Flips says while letting out a burb, did you know Jackson?"  
"No, how would I know. He pauses to think it over. Well ( ysn) went out there last year. She didn't tell me why, though. She had two siblings there at the time. I didn't think to question it. She just told me she was there visiting her family out and that she would be gone for a week." he shrugs off.   
"You didn't think anything of that." jimmy asks   
"No, she travels all the time. I don't question it, especially when it comes to her family. They are thinker then water let me tell you. You fuck with one; you fuck with them all." Jackson laughs and shakes his head.   
"Cheers to that," Flip and Jackson cheers.  
"So what kind of surgery was is." jimmy is curious.   
"She had a fibroid on one of her ovaries, she says. The scar is pretty nasty."   
"How did you see the scar." Jimmy raises his eyebrows and Flip.   
"Y'all fucked already. Jackson chokes out, spilling his drink on the bar counter.   
Damn, y'all are some fucking rabbits literally. So you don't know why she was fired, but ya'll fucked, priorities man." Jackson shakes his head and laughs.   
"No, no, Flip laughs, we just made out for like five minutes. It wasn't long at all."   
"Well, if she's willing to give you just a taste, she must have really missed you." Jimmy laughs  
"I hope so cause we've got a lot of time to make up for." Flip thought  
"So where do y'all go from here. Like whats the end goal." Jackson asks.   
"We definitely have to have "the talk" about everything, and I want us to be a married couple again," Flip says while swirling his glass his drink around. 

After two more rounds, the boys decide it's time to head back.   
"They should be done cleaning by now. Right jimmy." Says Jackson as they all grab their coats.   
"Yn could have done that on her own." Flips murmurs.  
"No she couldn't have and why would you wish that on her," Jackson says  
"That's cruel, Flip; she would be working for days." Jimmy teases him.   
"The house is not that bad." Flip looks at the men for confirmation. He gets no reply   
they pat Flip on his shoulders and walk past him to the truck

Jimmy pulls into the driveway, and they all exit the car. They let Flip go fist so he can unlock the door. They can hear laughter and chatter in the house from the driveway. 

Flip goes to unlock the door but realizes the doors open. He just opens the door to find you're sitting at the table with Aiden in your lap as he's showing you his book.   
Sharon greets us first, "you boys hungry?"


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yht=your hair type

Flip wakes up earlier than usual. Not like he got much sleep anyway. He felt so many emotions around you coming home. He couldn't understand why now. When he was at his lowest, you would choose to come home. Ever since the kkk case, he hasn't been able to get those words and images out of his head. They reminded him of you and how he let you down. He wasn't going to linger in bed all day. It's best he just gets up and goes to work.   
He turns over in the bed to look at the alarm clock it reads 6 am. He rolls over and gets off the bed. Making his way to the bathroom, he turns on the shower and just lets the water wash over him. 

Once done with his shower Flip, get dressed in his usual attire, a red flannel, jeans, and his Sherpa. He wants to slip out without you noticing. He opens the master bedroom door and sees your door still closed. He thanks God and continues, but he stops. What if you left again last night and he didn't hear anything. He walks back to the guest room and opens the door slowly; he sees you curled up on the right side of the bed, sleeping peacefully. He closes the door slowly and feels a little better, knowing you're still there. He hopes it stays that way. He heads to the garage to get your car keys and makes sure your car looks good. Everything seems in order Flip grabs your keys and leaves the keys on the kitchen table and leaves for work. 

Flip's commute to work is short; his mind is elsewhere because of you. He isn't paying attention to the radio as it plays on low volume. He knows he has to tell you everything and apologize for his stupidity, but he just doesn't want the awkwardness of it all. He reached the station and decided he's just going to focus on work. 

He looks at the reception desk Donnas not there, so he just walks to the intel room, greeting the fellow officers on his way in. He's the first of the undercover guy to arrive. So he starts some paperwork.

It's 8 am when you wake up. You slept pretty well last night, probably because of all the action from yesterday. You decide tonight is the night you and flip hash everything out. You realized how much you'd missed him — the little things about the house and the town. Your plan is to make steak for dinner, and after dinner, you and flip are going to have a long talk.   
You're not sure yet if you're ready to forgive him for cheating, but you know he did it for work and not because he had fallen out of love. Or at least that's what he's told you so far. 

You need to focus on getting your job back, most importantly. So if you and Flip don't work out, you'll have a backup. It's a good thing Flip subscribed to the LA Times. You can use some articles from the editor's choice for your interview today. You hadn't called your old boss Fred yet. You were just going to show up. What could go wrong, right? 

You showered last night. So you opt just to wash up this morning.You clean your body and decide to do an updo today. So you took (yht) and put it up in a low bun and silk your edges down with gel. Don't forget the baby's hair. You like a natural look so minimal makeup, you do your eyebrows, put on mascara, and a nude lip. 

Now it's time to get dressed. You want to look professional. You have a black button-down dress that you wear over a black and white striped long sleeve shirt. You put on black block heel boots. The finish the look with some silver hoop earrings. 

Now it time to eat something. Flip is probably hungry by now. You almost forgot about him. Is he even home? 

You walk out of the guest room to see the master bedroom door open. Then to the kitchen and nothing. No note, either. He used to leave you a note whenever he slipped out early. 

You overlook that fond memory and decide it's just breakfast for one. You make eggs and an English muffin. Once breakfast is made. You put the steak in the fridge to defrost for tonight's dinner. Next, you go to your office and start scamming through the newspapers to see you can find the articles you had written under editors' choice. 

You found one from June 1972, titled "The Genre of Music that Unites, Disco." 

Everyone in LA was partying to disco music; it was quite the movement. Perfect, you thought. It's relevant, and it's uplifting. 

You grab the newspaper, your purse, and walk to the kitchen to see if Flip let you your key. He did it's in the bowl with the fruit on the kitchen table. You walk to the garage and see your babysitting there, all nice and clean. You can tell flips been working on it, keeping it in fine condition. He did little things to show he cared even if you weren't home. 

You place your items in the passenger seat. Open the garage manually and then pull your car out. You then get out of the car and close it manually. It wasn't automatic. And drive off to the Tribune. 

Your stomach is in knots; you're so nervous. What if Fred already has an editor. What if Elliot blackballed you from journalism. These negative thoughts are driving you mad, ugh, You've got to stay positive. You say to yourself. You repeat positive affirmations and take deep breaths as you drive Downton. You arrive. The building looks the same old red brick three-story building right across the street from City Hall. Big white letters above the door Colorado Springs Tribune. You park the car and grab your things and head to the front desk. 

The receptionist doesn't pay you any mind. She's white with a ginger-colored hair styled into a bob.   
"Hello, I'm here to see Fred Mulligen? Is he here?"   
"I'm sorry ma'am you've got the wrong building."   
You recall seeing the newspaper's name on the building. And you did work here for over two years. This is the right place.   
"Is this not the Colorado Springs Tribune?" You say.   
No reply.   
"Does Fred Mulligen not work here anymore?   
"I can't tell you that." She snarls  
Oh, she's a racist bitch.   
"Let me introduce my self my name is (yn) Zimmerman and I'm the former editor for the LA times here to see Fred. Can you help me or not?" You say in a firm tone.   
"Oh, Mrs. Zimmerman, I didn't know you were, uh.." She stammers  
"Black."   
"No no uhm."  
"Never mind, I'll just see myself in. Thanks for nothing." You say quite irritated.   
Stupid white folk, she was not going to try you today. No mama.   
You get in the elevator and push for level three.   
The elevator door opens to reveal the sounds of phones ringing, typewriters keys clicking, and the heavy cigarette smoke. You don't miss the old gray walls and four rows of cubicles that stretch from the elevator to the back windows of the second floor. As you pass cubicles, you see old faces and some new ones. Everyone just stares at you as you walk past them straight to Fred's office.   
Fred's in his corner office, with his back towards the door on the phone. You walk straight in. Despite he's secretary's protest. You close the door and sit down.   
He turns to see who is interrupting him.   
Fred is a fat Irish man. With a beer belly, he is wearing a blue pinstriped shirt with black suspenders, and black slacks.   
"Sorry, Mike I'll have to call you back." He says, "Well, look what LA spit out."  
"Hey, Fred"  
"So you come back to my humble paper. You think we'll be so eager to take you in." He stands tall as with authority.  
"Well, I'm here, aren't I." You retort.  
"What's that in your hands? he walks over and snatches the newspaper out of your hand. Oh, an article you wrote under Editors Choice. Interesting. I've read this already." He throws the paper in the can.   
"How?" You ask, stunned.   
Fred doesn't answer and instead walks over to the corner of his room and throws a stack of LA Times newspapers in front of you.   
"It's not every day that your prodigy gets a job at a big-time paper like that. Fred stands over you and says, now come here kid, I've missed you." he lifts you out of the chair by the shoulders and pulls you into a hug, rocking you back and forth.   
"I think that's enough, Fred." You mumble against his shoulder.   
He lets you go and leans against his desk arms crossed against his chest and legs crossed one in front of the other facing you.   
"You know you were right about the writing about the real things that happen around here." He tells you.   
"I know I was right."   
"Well, when can you start?"  
"I can start Monday."  
"Great, how's it going at home?Everything okay."  
"Well. I'm getting there, that's all I'll say. Does Kendra still work here?" You ask. ( the only other black girl)  
"Yes. She does; she's just out on vacation. She'll be back on Tuesday. Your husband comes to check up on her now and again."  
"I know he told me." You say with an annoyed look.   
"Well, good talk, I'm a busy man. See you Monday". He points at you as he sits behind his desk.  
"See you Monday," you reply and look back as you leave his office. 

You walk back to the elevator with your head held high, perfect posture you are on a Fucking High. You are back in business, baby. 

You exit the elevator and don't pay any mind to the racist receptionist as you pass her and make your way to the double door exit. 

You get in your car and decide to go home. There's nothing else you have to do today. So you'll head home and get started on dinner. Since you already took out the meat this morning.   
Your making your way down Main street on your way home when you get to Fifth and Main and hear a Puff sound. You feel your car go lopsided.   
Fuck you've got a flat.   
You put your hazard light on and pull over to the side.   
You hop out and go to your trunk, no spare tire, are you serious.  
You look around.   
Your downtown. Not too far from the precinct.   
Maybe you should walk there. You think perhaps one of the officers could help.   
No, you look around for a payphone; there's one about a block up the street.   
You grab your things and are just about to start walking until you hear sirens.  
You look up, and it's Chief Bridges.   
He parks behind your car and walks up to you.   
"Mrs. Zimmerman, I thought that was your car." He shakes your hand.   
"Hey, Bridges, how are you?"  
"I'm good."  
"Good. "  
"I see you're having car trouble."  
"Yes, I've got flat and no spare."  
"That's alright. Get your things and come with me. He motions with his hand for you to follow him.  
You grab your purse and follow him.   
"I'll take you to the precinct. He says once you are both in his patrol car. And I'll have the impound boys pick up your car and take it to Bob's tires." He adds. And you can wait for the car at the office."  
"Aye, Aye Captain." You reply; both are chuckling at your response.   
"I wanted to thank you for sending Sharon home with roast last night; it was so good the boys enjoyed it too." He starts the small talk.   
"Good, I'm glad. It's the least I could do since I borrowed your wife during supper time. Tell the boys; I say hi. How's school going for them?"  
"You know our oldest got into the University of Colorado, your alum. And our youngest, he's adjusting to high school."   
"How's it going with you and flip?" The ever so daunting question.  
"I have to say I don't think we've even gotten started." You laugh with a nervousness.   
Bridges parks the car in front of the predict   
"Just give him time you know he's not much of a talker. Come on in; everyone will be happy to see you." He says as he exits the car. 

He opens the passenger door for you and the door to the precinct.   
"Oh my, I'm lost for words, is that (yn) Zimmerman? Screams donna the receptionist. Come here, oh how I've missed your pretty face." she pulls you in for a long hug.   
"I'm going to get the boys from impound okay (yn)," interrupts bridges   
"Okay thanks." You say as he walks away from you.   
"Your car was impounded?" Asks donna.   
"No, Donna, no, I just had a flat, and Bridges saw me and picked me up." You tell her. He's taking care of it for me."  
"Oh, flip won't like that," Donna adds.   
"No, he won't, but not much he can do." She nods in agreement.   
"You know he was here before I was." She whispers to you. You don't know why she's whispering.   
"I could believe it." You tell her.   
The phone rings on Donnas desk   
"Well I gotta go, let's get lunch sometime," she tells you as she walks behind her desk  
"Sounds good."

You walk the hallway down to the Intel department. You hear the many phones ringing, and officers saying excuse me miss as they walk past you.  
You get to the door and open it. Flips gone, so is jimmy.  
You see the desk belonging to Ron Stallworth and wonder who that is. Must be a new guy. Oh, wait that's the name of the black guy Flip said they hired.   
You sit at Flips desk; you can just smell the cigarette smoke attached to his chair.   
You scan his desk and see a frame laying face down, you pick up the Fram and see a pic of you and flip on your honeymoon in Spain.   
You are wearing a long summer dress with Flip flops Zimmerman is in tan linen pants and a white linen shirt your sitting in his lap looking down at him, and he's looking up at you with his left hand on your ass and your back and the other arm on your leg. You remember the summer breeze kissing your faces on that day. 

"Oh, hello, miss."   
A man says with a deep voice as he walks into the room.   
He's black; this must tell me, Ron. You think to yourself. You stand up as he's walking over to you.   
"I don't think you're supposed to be back here." He tells you in a nice, polite way.  
"Hi, I'm (yn) Zimmerman Flip's wife." Holding out your hand for him to shake  
He shakes your hand and says, "No, way I didn't know he was married. I'm sorry I didn't know."  
"It's fine." You pass it off and sit back down in Flips chair.   
"Flip and jimmy stepped out for a while; they should be back soon. Ron alerts you. Need anything?"  
"Water would be nice."  
"I'll be right back." 

You decide to move and sit on the brown couch, soaking in the room before you.

"Here you go, Mrs.Zimmerman." Ron hands you the water bottle. 

"(yn) is fine. Thank you" 

Ron sits across from you in a chair, "I had no idea flip was married to black girl. He hid it pretty well." Ron says

"Hid it. What do you mean by that?" You give him a puzzled look.   
"Well you know during the kkk case. I'm so surprised he kept his composure. Being undercover as a kkk member and being married to you and taking that all home. He must have been scared for your safety. I know I was for my girl."

"Oh yes, he was very scared," you play along you want to know more. "Flip didn't share many details with me. You must have been scared too."

"Well, I wasn't in the field like Flip was, but I was scared just the same. See, I was a rookie at the time and, I used my real name when I set up the meeting. Flip said that was my first mistake. Ron laughs while he recalls the events, But I saved flips ass did he tell you."

"No, he didn't. You know Flip he probably didn't want to admit it." You smile back at Ron. 

"Well, I'll tell you then, there was one nazi named Felix who could smell the Jew on Flip like a fucking police dog. He took Flip into a basement and wanted Flip to show him his dick to see if it was circumcised. Well, I heard this all over the wire. I knew it wouldn't end well. So I threw a brick at the window and ran. Flip and all the other men come out running after me. Flip shot at me to make it look good. But damn that was crazy's, he shakes his head. I can't believe he didn't tell you." 

"I think it was probably for the best." You say while looking down at the carpet — the Fucking KKK what was flip thinking. You needed a moment.   
"Yes, I agree." Replies Ron, he's just looking at you.   
"Excuse me, Ron, I have to use the ladies room." You say   
"Yes, of course." Ron moves his chair out of your way.

You walk to the bathroom and start to hyperventilate. The fucking KKK what the hell was Flip thinking. He's a Jew what if he got caught. You reach the bathroom about two doors down from the Intel room. You enter a stall and pee and take a few more breaths. You feel so nauseous. Leaving the stall, you look at your reflection in the mirror you look exhausted. You put yourself back together by washing splashing some cold water on your cheecks once you feel like you are ready to face the world again.   
You decide to go back to the intel room while you wait for Bridges, but then you look to your left and see the records room.   
You could go in there and find the file on the KKK and that stupid human trafficker. Or you could wait and let Flip tell you.   
Your curiosity kills you. You walk to the records room and to find no one working. You look at the time and see its noon. Yes! You squeal internally; let's make this quick.   
You and Flip have had plenty of quickies in here to know where everything is. 

You find the intel department section and look alphabetically.   
There is nothing in the K section. That's weird. You don't have a lot of time, so you move on to the T section. A lot of files under drug trafficking a lot of drug files.   
Bam human trafficking. Okay. Now you look for the year 1971, jackpot. You found the file.   
You look around and then back at your watch; its fifteen past noon. You have to make this quick. You flip through and see pics of the woman, and you just stare at it, she is the polar opposite of you. You hear laughter and that makes you freeze. You look towards the door, nothing, okay. You continue to read, the investigation took six months. Flip had made drug exchanges of cocaine with the woman for information. The department rescued thirty victims from sex slavery ages ranging from twelve to twenty-five all races and ethnic backgrounds. They arrested the women. Her real name was Katrina Levy, aka Rebel, she was charged with 30 counts of human trafficking and two drug smuggling charges. Six of her buyers were also charged. She was sentenced to twenty years to life, no parole. 

You slide down to the floor and just stare at the wall. This was a huge case. Flip and his team worked hard to take this woman down. You didn't agree with their methods, but shit, you can't help but be proud. You look down at your watch; it's twelve-thirty; you put the file back and exit out the side door instead of the front to avoid officers. 

You bump into something hard. You look up, and it's Flip. Oh, you're in deep shit. 

"What are you doing here, what the hell were you doing in there?! He shouts, pointing at the door behind you.   
"I was looking for the bathroom."   
"The bathroom that's a door down." Flip looks at you suspiciously.   
"Oh, I'd forgotten," you shrug and try to act coy.   
"Oh, thank god." Flip found you. Says Bridges. Your car is at Bob Tires, and when it's ready, Bob will call you."  
"Thanks, Bridges," you say.   
"Don't mention it. Flip," he says before he walks away. Flip just nods back.  
"What happened to your car?" Flip asks concerned but still on edge.   
"I got a flat on fifth, and main and bridges was doing his rounds and saw me. He drove me here to wait while the impound boys picked the car up and towed into Bobs."

"I didn't know you needed tires. I checked the car before I left the house this morning it seemed fine." He says as if a fact.   
"It's fine, Flip no harm done."

"Well, if it isn't Mrs. Zimmerman," yells Jimmy across the hall.   
"Good afternoon, Jimmy. How are you?" You ask as jimmy pulls you into a hug.   
"Well, my friend. How are you?"  
"I'm good. "  
Flip just gives Jimmy a look that says leave us.   
"Alright, well, I have paperwork to fill out. See you later." Jimmy says, catching the hint.   
"Okay, bye." You look around Flip and waive at Jimmy. 

"What were you doing in the records room?" Flip asks again in an annoyed tone.   
"Nothing." You say while looking down at your feet.   
"Don't lie to me; you're not good at it." He starts to raise his voice. Officers start to look at the two of you.   
"Can we have this conversation somewhere private?" You whisper back.   
"Fine, let's go." He moves as if to exit the building.   
"I have to get my things from the intel room. You tell him"  
He stops in his tracks and commands you, "Stay here, and I'll get it."   
"Fine, I'll wait in the front with Donna."  
"Fine. "

Flip is pissed.   
You wait in the waiting room like a kid on punishment.   
Flip enters, and you stand up.   
"Let's go. He hands you your purse.", he says, exiting the building, not paying you any attention.   
"Are you coming back here?" You ask.   
"No ."  
"So how are we going to get my car."  
"I'll call bob tires, and we'll pick it up tomorrow."  
"Are you sure?"  
"Yes, let's go (yn)"  
"Alright, we'll nice seeing you, Donna,"   
She waves goodbye to you.   
"What's your problem? You ask once outside.   
"My problem is that you were in the records room. Why?" He stops in the middle of the parking lot.   
"You know why don't act naive Flip." You snark back.   
"Did you find what you were looking for. "you push past him.   
"Yes and No."  
"You are getting on my fucking nerves." He growls.   
"Fuck you, Flip." You say to him as you both arrive at his car. You both have a staredown before getting in the car.   
Flip breaks first and slams the car door and yells at you to get inside.   
You don't want to make a scene in front of the other officers. But it's too late for that.   
Flip wasn't driving home. He was driving you somewhere else.   
The city hall steps why was he taking you here?  
"Why are we here?" You ask, annoyed.   
He didn't reply  
He parks behind City Hall and starts walking toward the steps. Leaving you behind in the car.   
This is where you and Flip first met about four years ago. Why would he bring you here?


	13. The day we met.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ybt=your body type  
> I want the reader to feel included no matter their body type.   
> Also, I have started school again so chapter updates may be delayed. I want to update two chapters every Sunday but don't hold me to it. I'll try my best. Thanks for reading.

It was the spring of 67 your last semester at the University of Colorado. It's also the last month of you being a senior editor at the school's paper. It was announced by President Johnson that some troops were coming home from Nam. It was supposed to be the ones with medical issues or who those who were getting too old. The Colorado Springs Tribune announced that the town would be having a patriotic parade to welcome home local troops. So you would use this opportunity to write a story about how war affects everyone. There were many students who were against the Nam war, so you know there would be a lot of controversy around this parade. This would make for a perfect story. So you decided that the day of the parade, you would interview troops and protesters about their thoughts on the war. The parade was taking place at City Hall on Sunday. You called the school's paper photographer on Saturday and told him to meet you at city hall at 10 am on Sunday. 

On Sunday you decide to wear jeans, a white T-shirt and a multi-colored windbreaker with sneakers. You meet the photographer on the City Hall steps. You told him to take pictures while you ask some troops for interviews. 

You approach a couple of troops, and they reject you. Then you see this one solider sitting alone. He has blonde hair, blue eyes, and it looks like an arm missing. You were hesitant to approach, but you know he had a story worth hearing.

"Excuse me, soldier, I'm with the Colorado University paper. And would like to ask you a couple of questions?   
"Sure, sweet thing ." he smiles at you and straightens ups.   
"Hi I'm (yn)," what's your name   
"Private Simmons."  
"Nice to meet you, Private Simmons; if you don't mind me asking what was your role in Nam?"   
"Pilot ma'am for the Air Force."   
"What does it mean to you to fight for your country?"  
"It meant my life my dad fought in world war two, so it was my duty."  
"Now that you are off duty, what will life at home mean of you?"  
"It means being with family and living the American dream." He says the last part with a broad smile, and you smile back.   
"Do you feel like you'll be able to live out those dreams even with your injury?"  
"I was glad to serve my time and fight alongside my fellow soldiers; no arm is better than no life. "He looks up at you with pride. Like he was happy to loose his arm. It could be a lot worse. You've heard and read stories about the horrible things happening to soldiers in Nam.   
"I understand it must have been hard for you in Nam. But, thanks for your time and your service."  
"No problem, sweet thing anytime, and he smacks your ass and grabs a firm hold on your hips."   
Before you could turn to slap him   
You hear a deep voice from behind you.  
"I don't think this young lady wants you touching her like that."  
You turn to see who could this man be; you find an extremely tall, dark-haired man with freckles and a sharp nose.   
"And what are you going to do about it?" Private Simmons stands trying to hold his ground.   
This man punches Simmons in the face and says," I see you again. I'll do worse."   
You're so in shock you can't move. You just stand there with mouth your mouth agape. You're not the only one shocked you, and this man has drawn a crowd of curious spectators.   
Your knight in uniform grabs your arms and leads you away from Simmons and the growing crowd.

"Are you alright?" He asks while holding a firm grip onto your arms and inspecting you for some sort of injury.  
"Yes, I'm fine. Thank you. I'm truly okay you can stop inspecting me now."  
The very handsome man back but still standing close enough, you can smell his cologne. He smells like pine and cigarettes. He seems to have a million freckles on his face; you could stare at his face all day. You hadn't realized you'd been staring so hard. Until he smiles at you and says, "Are you sure your alright you seem like you in a daze.   
"No, no, I am. Thanks again." You can feel your cheeks burn from blushing, "I..I wouldn't have interviewed him if I knew it came with a price." You laugh nervously with your head down.   
"Assholes like that always have a price." He pushes your chin up.   
"Well, thanks anyway, I'll get going." You motion behind him to City Hall as to say you're heading that way. He nods, and you begin to walk away from him.   
Flip thought you were so beautiful. The way (yst) glistened in the sun. You had an overall sense of goodness he hadn't seen in a long time.   
"Excuse me, Miss." He runs to catch up to you. "You can interview me. What's it for?"  
Why won't this hot man leave you alone? You turn around and say, "I'm the editor for The University of Colorados Student Paper. Anyway, what's your price?   
"I don't charge. I swear. Scouts honor." His right hand over his heart.   
You look at him suspiciously,   
"Okay, Fine. Let's sit on the City Hall steps and talk." You'll let him have this. "What's your name?"  
"Sergeant Zimmerman Marines Core." He stands at attention.  
You just shake your head, "How long were you stationed in Vietnam for?"  
"This was my first tour a year and a half."  
"That's a long time."   
"Yes. It is." He looks at his feet.   
"Glad you made it out."  
"Yeah, me too." He looks up at you and smirks with a cheeky smile.   
"Did you willfully enlist or were you drafted?  
"I was drafted."  
"Do you feel we'll win?"  
"There's no winning in wars. Just loss on both sides."  
"So, do you agree with America's choice to go to war in NAM?"  
"That's classified."  
"Classified, huh?   
"If we are on the record, then yes, that is classified information." He nudges your knees.   
If you didn't know any better, you would think this solider is flirting with you.   
"Moving on then, How does it feel to be home? "  
"I wasn't so sure I would find purpose coming home after so long, but I think I have now."  
You look up from your notes at him, and he's staring at you with a smile.  
You roll your eyes, "Listen, man, if you're going to act all nice and try and get handsy the way the last guy did, then you got another thing coming." You stand to leave, grabbing your things in a hurry.   
"No, no, no, sorry. It's just I really think your pretty, That's all I swear." he puts his hand up.   
"Okay, well, thanks, but I think we're done here. You men are too honey to think about anything else." You get up to leave, but Flip stoops you.

"Okay, I know it looks bad, but I really like you, and I want to get to know you. Can we go out?" He's pleading for a chance.   
You think it over. It wouldn't be that bad. He is really hot, and he can kick ass. You should do it. You're going to do it.   
"Fine, but only because I have a gut feeling that you're not a prick. Yes, we can go out."   
"Cool. Do you like Italian?   
"Don't take me to Tony's." Tony's was a local Italian restaurant that everyone and their mama went to on first dates.   
"Oh, I wasn't." He looks at you, surprised that you just totally ruined his great date idea.   
You raise an eyebrow as if to let him know you caught him in a lie.   
"Okay, I was. Why don't you pick a spot?" 

"Alright, pick me up at the dorms at 7:30 tonight."  
"Oh, tonight."   
"Yes, I have classes tomorrow."  
"Okay, okay, I'll be there."   
You're about to leave again until he asks, "What's your name?"  
"It's (yn)," you yell back.   
"(Yn)" he repeats, "I'm Phillip."  
"Nice to meet you, Phillip." 

You interview a few protesters to discuss the varying opinions around the war and meet up with the photographer to discuss what images you want to use for print. After all the final decisions are made, you walk back to your dorms. 

You decide since the white boy likes a black girl lets see if he can hang. There is a soul food restaurant called Aunt Darlene's, so you'll take him there. 

You had never been on a date with a white guy before, but you had fooled around with them. Come on; it's the 60s. 

You decide to wear a silver sequins tank top with black high waisted cigaret jeans paired with black ballerina flats and a leather jacket to top it off. 

"Why are you getting dressed like that?" (ysn) asks  
You and your sister share a dorm; she was in a graduate program and you an undergrad. 

"Uhm a date," you say as you fix your self in the mirror.   
"So you go to this dumb ass parade and meet a soldier, and now your on a date."  
"Yes." You look at her behind you through the mirror.   
"Such a flossy."  
"it wasn't like that okay. And I'm not a flossy."   
"Whatever, just be safe." She walks back to her bed and sits on it.   
"Where is he taking you?"  
"We're going to Aunt Darlene's." You grab your purse, ready to head out.   
"Okay we'll have fun." You yell at you as you leave the dorm. 

You'd tell her later he was white. 

Flip is there at 7:15, smoking a cig leaning on his truck. He's wearing a polo navy shirt, a jean jacket, and some kaki collared paints with converse. He hopes he looked nice.   
He tried to dress hip; you were in college, he wanted to look cool. He hopes he looked cool; it's been a while since he's been on a date. He usually just fucks and splits. But you're different; he can feel it. He parked in a student's parking space he hopes you'll be able to find him. You hadn't told him where to park and in what dorms you lived. It was a huge campus.   
He checks his watch; it's 7:30; he looks around, wondering where you are. 

"Thought I'd be late, huh?" You tease him; you caught him looking around nervously.   
Flip follows the direction of your voice; he looks you up and down damn you look good( ybs) just framing those clothes just right. It's like it's your skin, but it's not. Flip starts to lose his balance cause he's staring too hard, and he slips. He catches his fall, but you still saw it.   
You laugh.  
"I look that good okay, Phillip."  
"Um, yes, you do." He says as he tries to gain his composure.   
"Thank you."  
"So where too." He changes the subject.   
"I'll show you the way just get in." You motion toward his car.   
You like control; he takes note. 

You tell him how to exit the campus. Philip starts off the small talk. 

"You like going here?"  
"Yes, it's nice."   
"What's your major?"   
"Journalism."  
"That's why you were interviewing soldiers."  
"Yep, I'm the editor for the school's paper, remember."  
"I remember." He looks at you to see you looking at like he did not remember this morning.   
"I just thought the whole paper thing was maybe an extra circular activity, not your passion, That's awesome, when do you graduate?"  
"In May." You turn your head to look out the window.   
"Congratulations."  
"Thanks. Turn left here." You instruct.   
"Okay."  
"So, Phillip, what did you do before the war?"   
"I was a cop. Well I am a cop. I work for Colorado Springs PD."  
"Oh, that's interesting." He's white and a fucking cop. What in the actual fuck?  
"Is that a problem."  
"No..it's not a problem, but you know historically black and blue don't mix."  
"Well, maybe we can be the exception."   
He turns to you, and you look at each other for a moment.   
"We'll see white boy we'll see." You retort. 

After driving for about another ten minutes. You've arrived.   
"We've arrived." You sound excited.   
He reads the sign out loud, Aunt Darlene's. He's never been to this side of town before. You can tell he's looking around very cautiously. Must be the cop in him. 

"Don't worry, gringo, we don't shoot your kind." You pat him on his thigh.  
He hates your teasing; he's clearly out of his element. He parks in the parking lot 

The bouncer sees you walking up and greets you.   
"Hi (yn)."   
"Hey Leon, how's it going tonight?"  
"Ah, man, you know busy as always." Leon has a thick country accent; you don't know where he got if from.  
Flip comes up behind you.   
Leon steps in between you and Phillip.  
"You got business he partner?" Leon gets in Philip's face.   
"Yes, she's my business." Phillip looks down at Leon and points at you.   
"He's with me, Leon. But thank you." You grab Phillip's hand and pull him towards you.   
"Oh, okay, well then." He sizes up Phillip as you pull him past Leon.   
"You'll be fine, come on." You pat Phillip's hand as you lead the way.  
Leon opens the double doors for you and Phillip. You thank him. Phillip just nods the two men, still unsure of each other.   
You enter the restaurant and hear jazz music playing on the jukebox. The walls are painted yellow with a picture of James Baldwin, Thurgood Marshall, and other famous black people along the walls.   
You're walking with Phillip hand in hand, and you ask the hostess for a table for two.   
She says, give her five minutes. You nod as a reply.   
You turn to Phillip to check in on him. 

"You alright?" You look you up at him. He looks paler than he was when he picked you up. You scan the room to see all the black folk are looking at you too. Shit you did not think this through. It's 1967 racial tensions are still high.   
"Yep.," he says as he sees a room full of black people just staring at him and talking he feels out of place.   
You pull his arm closer to your body and say," Don't worry. I got you."  
Why are you the one protecting him and comforting him? It's making him feel things he's never felt before.   
Your tables ready, the hostess says with a snarky voice. You roll your eyes at her; she's so just rude.   
You and Philip slip into both at the back of the restaurant. They would put you two in the back.   
"Sorry, I wouldn't have brought you here if I knew you'd be so uncomfortable."   
"It's not that…"  
"Don't lie." you interrupt, not letting him finish. You can tell he's uncomfortable; he keeps looking around and fixing his clothes.   
"It's just I've been around "black people (he whispers) but never in this kind of environment. It feels like I'm intruding."  
"I can see how you could feel that way. It is a black space, for black people made by black people. But you're with me so your good. Now let's eat and focus on getting to know each other. I promise the food is good."  
"Don't try to convince me, I believe you."  
You were so in tuned with his emotions, and you just met him. He's never met a girl like you before usually, they just want to get in his pants. But you, you're different, and he likes it. 

A chocolate-skinned woman walks up. She is wearing her hair in a cute pixie cut and a white button-down dress. She has brown eyes and a name tag that says, Dina. 

"Girl what you doing bringing him here?" She points at Phillip with her pencil for her order pad.   
"I thought it is okay." Your honest with her.   
"That's your problem. You "thought." She uses her quotation marks. "Look, let them stare, but y'all cool with me." She points at the two of you.   
"Thanks." You smile at her. You thought this was going to go somewhere else.   
"I'm Dina. I'll be your waitress. What can I get you?"  
"I'll have a hard Arnold palmer." you look at Phillip,   
"I'll have a Coor's," he says.   
"Okay, coming right up."

"You know her?"  
"No, why?"  
"But, you talked like you did."  
"That's just how black women talk to each other."   
"Oh, that's nice." He nods as if taking in some new information.   
"Nice how?"  
"She sounded like she knew you. It's like you have a friend no matter where you are."  
You smile at that, "yes, that's exactly what it's like."

While you wait on your drinks, you both review the menu.   
You want fried green tomatoes as an appetizer. Then you want a red snapper plate with collard greens and Mac and cheese.   
"What's good here, Philip? Asks you, but the waitress walks up with your drinks.   
'Everything." she answers for you.   
"Yes, everything." you nod in agreement eyes going wide in excitement. Food made you so happy.  
"Well, what's your favorite?" Philip asks Dina.  
"We'll white boy, mine is the oxtails and white beans."  
"Hmm, that's so good. "You agree   
"Okay, I'll have that then." First, you called him a white boy now her. Is this going to be his new nickname?   
"And you." Dina faces you.  
"The red snapper plate with fried green tomatoes as an appetizer, please."  
"Coming right up."  
"Fried green tomatoes?" Philip questions you.   
"Yes, they're so good we'll share."   
"Okay, sounds good."   
While you wait for your food, you decide to strike up a conversation.

"So, Phillip Zimmerman is your full name."  
"Yes." He leans in more closing the distance between you two.   
"Am I right if I assume you to be Jewish."   
"I am Jewish, but I don't practice Judaism." He says in a firm tone. He clearly is not a fan of religion. Noted.   
"I get it. I grew up catholic, but I don't practice either." It wasn't the same thing still you wanted him to know you weren't religious just like him.   
"So, what would make a Jew want to be a cop?"   
"Well, I just wanted to do good for my community. I felt like a cop was the way to go."   
"I understand, I feel like being a journalist will give me the opportunity to share the stories that affect my community. "  
"Well, we have something in common. Cheers to that?" He winks at you. You raise your glass to cheers with him. 

The appetizer arrives.   
You place some fried tomatoes on an extra plate and the remoulade sauce too. You give the plate to Phillip and tell him to try it. 

He takes a bite  
"Hmm, I really like this." He says with a mouth full off food.   
"Good, I'm glad." You smile at him, and he smiles back. 

"Here is your snapper plate and oxtails for you, sir." Says Dina.   
"Thanks." You both say.   
Philip has never had oxtails before it looks different.   
"Just eat it," you say as you about to dig into your food.   
"How do you eat it?" He is awkwardly holding his fork, trying to figure it out.   
"Here, I'll show you. Slide your bowl in the middle of the table." You tell him. 

You get your spoon and scoop away some meat from the oxtail and then add the beans and rice.  
"Here you say." pointing the spoon at him to feed him.   
He leans in and takes a bite.   
His eyes go wide, "hmm, that is amazing." he says with a mouth full.   
"I know right," you take your spoon and start to dig into his plate.   
He pulls it away, "no, sister, this is mine."  
"Come on." You pout and give puppy eyes.   
"Fine," he makes you a spoonful this time.   
You open your mouth, take the spoonful, and look Phillip in the eyes the whole time. As you reach the end of the spoon, you moan. "Hmm, that's tasty."  
Phillip loses his mind. He cant stop thinking about what that mouth could do. Fuck you're killing him softly.   
The rest of the meal his filled with conversation. From where you grew up to how many siblings you had. The conversation just seemed to move so naturally between the two of you.  
"Ready for the bill lovebirds," Dina interrupts.   
"Yes, thank you," Philip says.   
She comes back with the bill   
You grab the bill ready to pay.   
"No, I asked you out I'll pay."   
"How about halfsies?"  
Philip ignores you and pays for the bill. 

You grab your purse ready to leave.  
He stands and takes your hand, and you both walk out together despite the looks.   
When you're in the parking lot, Philip pulls you around and pushes you against the car and looks down at you longingly.   
"Can I kiss you?"  
"I thought you would never ask."  
He pulls you to the bed of the truck and pulls it down. He lifts you up on the bed and sits you there, so you are at his height level now. He makes out with you like he's touch starved. You don't mind; it been a while for you too. When he starts to push your back down on the bed, you pull away.   
"It's getting late. I have class in the morning." You whisper   
"Yeah, right." He nods understanding.   
Instead of moving away from each other, you two connect foreheads and stay that way for a while.   
You pat his chest, which is a brick firm, and he takes that as a cue that it's your time is up. He hadn't noticed it, but he enjoys the warmth you bring with you. He doesn't want to let that go.   
He picks you up and lifts you off the truck bed and walks over to the passenger door and opens it for you. You slide in, and he closes the door.   
He runs over to his side and turns the ignition over and drivers back to your dorms. The drive back is silent you slide over the bench and put your hand on his knee while he drives he looks over at you, but you're staring out the window.   
He wants you so bad, but he'll wait. He'll wait for you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure how you eat oxtails and rice, but I always use a spoon. It's a special occasion food for my family and me, so I thought I'd include it in the story. You know for "the culture." lol. I hope you enjoyed it thanks for reading.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ybt= your body type  
> This is my first time writing smut, so please don't judge. Thanks for reading.

Why would he take you here? You just want to go home and process all of this. You don't want to remember the first time you met it makes you hurt too much. You and Flip had met right here in spring 1967. From then your relationship had blossomed into something you two could have never imagined. You loved Flip from the moment you met him. You just wish you could go back there instead of here fighting for your marriage.

The white city hall building makes you feel so small. The white marble columns are holding together the traditional American Colonial building.   
Flip is way ahead of you, walking up the concrete steps as if in slow motion. He stops on the fifth step and takes a seat. You met him there.   
"Here"  
"Here what?  
"Here is where we hash it out?"  
"This isn't very private Flip. You say while watching all the city hall workers walk up and down the steps.   
"No, it's not, but this is where it started; this is where it ends." He says plainly.   
"You want it ( the marriage) to end." You ask in a low sad tone.   
"That's not what I meant. He says in a tone of regret, “What were you doing in the records room?"  
"What do people usually do in record rooms?"  
"For fuck's sake, answer the question." He yells at you.   
"If you keep cursing at me, this whole thing is over. "you point at him. But he doesn't budge.   
"Okay, fine. I was reading your human trafficking case and looking for your KKK case file."  
He looks at you, stunned.   
"I'm going to ignore that you just broke the law. Did you find out anything that I hadn't told you already?” He's tone is raised; he is clearly annoyed. “Wait the KKK file. Who told you about that?”  
"Yes and no. I'm very proud of you, Flip." You say, ignoring his question.   
Flip looked shocked. Still not budging.   
"Yes, the KKK case found nothing, by the way. And I'm proud that you went with your gut and took down that Katrina Levy chick. She ruined little girls lives and my marriage. But more importantly you saved dozens of girls from the streets and perverts. I'm proud of you. I don't agree with your methods, but I get it. I just wish you would have consulted me before you got physical."  
Flip looks down at you in astonishment. He thought this conversation was going somewhere else.   
"You're proud of me…. I thought you were going to chew me a new one." He says happily, smiling as if he's won something.   
"I'm not done.” You point a finger in the air. He won't get off so easily. 

“ When I found you at that bar with THAT women, I saw how you looked at her the way you used to look at me. Like it was just you and me in a room full of people. Then you had the nerve to lie to me and say you only fooled around, but you actually Fucked her.” You keep your voice down cause this is a public place.

“ It hurt flip. I felt like everything we had built on sand, and we were in a fucking sand storm. How could you look at her with those eyes and do those things with her and come home and do the same shit with me. How could you live with yourself? I was utterly disgusted and turned off. Like I didn't even know you. And I had given you every part of me. I guess that was my rookie mistake." You begin to tear up. You're so over this. Why does his mistake make you feel like shit? You feel so uneasy and unsure of yourself right now. Maybe coming home was a mistake. 

Flip turned to look at you. You had tears in your eyes and this look of defeat. The same look you had when you left him that night. Flip doesn't know what to say or do to make you stay, but he knows one thing he can't loose you again. Flip put his head down and takes a deep breath before breaking his silence.

"You were right. I did move on like nothing ever happened. I felt so disgusted with myself. I didn't mean to look at her. That way, I just had to be convincing. I only wanted you I still only want you. I didn't want you to have any cause for concern, so I kept up my routine with you. I didn't want you to become suspicious. Cause I wouldn't have known how to explain it to you."   
"Well, not telling me the truth was your first misstep."  
You stand up from the step and start to walk away. But Flip grabs your forearm.   
"Wait, who told you about the KKK?"  
You roll your eyes, "really flip; thats all you can say?"  
He looks dumbfounded, "no, I have more to say, but."   
You move out of his hold and walk off towards the car. This is precisely why you stayed in LA. He only ever thinks about his “cases”. You will never get him to see things from your point of view its not possible. Instead of putting everything on Flip, you may need to think about what you want from this trip back home. Do you even want to stay married?  
Flip runs behind you.   
Maybe a sorry would have been better than just to disregard your feelings and think about how you found out about the KKK case.   
Flip knows this talk is over and that you want to go home so he gets in the car and opens your door so you can get in.   
The ride home was silent and awkward. You both avoided eye contact the whole way home. 

Once you arrived home. You were feeling really tired and sad. Sad that Flip still wasn't seeing things for your perspective, and he wasn't going to. You both see the cheating from a different lens to him; it was a job. To you, it meant your marriage.

"Hey, I'm going to go to sleep." You tell Flip.   
"Are you feeling alright." He looks at you concerned.   
"Yes, just tired." You say as you walk away from him.   
"Okay. Sleep well." He's standing in the hallway watching you walk right past him without a care. He can feel you slipping away again. What can he do to make it up to you? 

He calls the tire shop and finds out that your car is ready. Flip lets Bob know he'll pick it up tomorrow. 

He doesn't know what to do with himself; it's early in the afternoon, and he's technically alone. He decides he'll watch tv and drink a beer. Or maybe he should make dinner.   
He shoots up from the coach and sees you took out steaks to defrost. He'll grill the steaks and make mash potatoes with gravy and green beans. Flip knows hot to cook; he just has to have a reason too. 

Flip has dinner ready by 6pm. He wonders if he should wake you up.   
He knocks on the guest room door you don't answer. So he checks to see if it's locked. It's not he steps in to see you laying on your side with your back towards the door. You've Changed into sweats and a t-shirt one of his old Chevrolet ones. He hasn't seen that one in a while; you must have packed it with you and taken it to LA. He sits down on the edge of the bed and looks at you. He's missed the way your face is so symmetrical, how every feature was placed perfectly and proportionately. He gets caught up in the moment he rubs your cheek with the back of his hand. Your skin was so soft and inviting. This contact makes you jolt awake.   
You jump up, swatting the hand that just rubbed your cheek.   
Causing Flip to move off the bed.   
"Sorry I, I just wanted to tell you dinners ready, are you hungry?" He stutters   
"Oh, you scared me flip." You chuckle and sit up on your elbows.  
"I didn't mean to. Sorry"   
"It's fine."  
You pull the sheets away and get off the bed.   
"What's for dinner?"   
"Steak grilled."   
"I haven't had your steak in a while looking forward to it." You move past him making your way to the kitchen.   
When you step into the kitchen, the dinner table is made up. With candles and red wine. Red placemats below the plates.   
"If I didn't know any better Zimmerman, I would think this is a date."   
"Maybe it is." he winks at you  
You wondered what it would take for your marriage to work. He was breaking your walls, but it takes more than chivalry. 

You sit to the right of Flip; he sits at the head of the table.  
In the middle of dinner, you recall your conversation with Ron about the kkk.   
Now seems like a good time to bring it up.   
"The steak was very juicy Flip. You did well."  
Flip smiles and starts to blush, "thanks."  
"So, your alias is Ron Stallworth."  
Flip almost chokes on his wine. You just went straight for it.   
He grunts, "It was early later last year. Ron has this idea to infiltrate the kkk. He couldn't cause he's black, so the task fell on me." He's starting to fidget in his seat you can tell this makes him uncomfortable. 

"You must have had to compromise your belief system a lot during that time." You take another sip of the wine.   
"I did, and it makes me sick just thinking about it."   
"Sorry I brought it up. I'm just curious how a Jew married to black woman infiltrated the kkk. It's quite comical." You laugh and shake your head.   
"I'm glad you find it funny," Flip says in a very sarcastic way.  
"I know its serious. It must have been very hard for you to go through that on your own." You look at him. He has a look of sadness and regret.   
"Well, you were gone, and I was thankful. Because if you were here with me your life would have been in serious danger. For a while, I acted like I wasn't a Jew. You know this. My family never practiced it is my makeup but not in my values. So when I had to deny I was a Jew it made we want to throw up. It itched at my skin when I had to use the n-word or kike." 

"You said the n-word. You've never used that word around me." You smile and giggle for some reason you are finding this hilarious. It has to be the wine. 

"I don't know why you think this is so funny, but I would never use that word. I know its social connotation. But I had to so I could fit in. I said it so many times (yn) I said it so many times. I can't even count. Those men were stupid too (yn) it was just a lot. I don't want to get into everything over this nice dinner,” as points out the spread before you both. “But I do want to tell you." he grabs your right hand and kisses it. 

"Flip, are you depressed? Depressed because you did this kkk case rejected yourself as a Jew and your wife a negro? Is that why you haven't been taking care of yourself because of guilt?”

He cant believe you right now. From one extreme topic to another. He looks in your eyes, and you're looking loaded. He didn't know you were still such a lightweight; it seems like more now than before you left. But you're serious he can tell because you haven't looked away from him yet. 

He takes a deep breath and relaxes back in his chair and looks at you with glossy eyes. 

"I'm hurting inside because I hurt you. I'm so sorry I hurt you. When you left that night, I can't get that look of hatred you gave me out of my mind. Then I express hatred for your race and mine, for what. For my job and the greater good. How many times do I have to hurt those I love for my job? It’s killing me ( yn)." He starts to cry. 

You start crying too. You get up and walk towards him and move his head, so he's looking at you. 

"Flip, it's okay. It's going to be okay. You saved so many people lives. People you've never met before you've always been selfless, you just haven't realized it. That's what I love the most about you." You smile down at him. You lean down to kiss him. He kisses you back, deepening the kiss he stands up and picks you up. 

He lays you down on the couch and puts his left knee in between your legs. Your fingers are weaving their way through his hair, stopping to twirl curls that you find. He's moving his hands down to your breasts, kneading them. He discovers then that you aren't wearing a bra. God he missed the taste of you. He pulls away and notices that your eyes are closed You must really be enjoying this as much as he is. They open once you can't feel him on you.   
He looks into (yec) yes, looking for regret or anger but finds none. 

"If we do this, there is no turning back." He whispers between you.   
"You've got me for life, remember." You actually want this.   
He chuckles and gets off the coach picks you up and carries you to the bed.   
He is kissing you passionately as he walks down the hall. He opens the bedroom door and lays you down on the bed. You start unbuttoning the buttons his flannel. Flip takes his belt off and pulls away to take his pants off. You pull your shirt off and lift your legs to take off your pants. Your fully exposed for the first time in years. You automatically feel self-conscious about your body. It has changed, and you don't know what Flip will think. So you rush to get under the covers. 

"Why are you hiding it's nothing I haven't seen before." He says while crawling back over to you. He's fully naked now.   
"It's different now."   
"I still think you're beautiful. he whispers in your ear, "and perfect," he nibbles on your ear.   
You moan so hard   
He takes the covers and throws them off of you   
Your get a sudden chill, and your nipples become hard; you can tell that flips already hard but he's taking his time. He starts to kiss and suck on your neck, leaving hickeys.   
He makes his way down licking all the way down your torso while looking up at you   
"Open your eyes," he says   
You shake your head no   
He stops and crawls back up to you   
"What's wrong?"   
"Nothing, just keep doing what you're doing." you're out of breath already.   
"But I want you to see me. be apart of this experience with me." He says while nibbling on your neck.   
"I'll try, you say." You don't know why, but you feel so shy and insecure right now.   
He just nods at your words. Flip feels bad but your beautiful he loves (ybt)   
He kisses you deeply and moves his hips, so he's between your legs  
He knows he has to get you wet, but he doesn't know how long he can wait.   
He trails his fingers down to your center and starts circling your clit. You moan and arch your back.   
"Stay with me," Flip says  
He can feel you getting wetter so he puts two fingers in bending them a little to reach your g-spot this makes you go crazy   
"Flip, I won't last, oh my god." You move your hands from his hair and grab the bedsheets.   
"Okay, are you ready?" He's looking up at you; your face is a mess. He's got you in the zone.   
"Yes, please."   
Flip waits no time and enters you and places both arms on the sides of you to keep his balance.   
He stays there so you can adjust, "fuck you're so tight." he says, looking down at you.   
You turn your head out of shyness. It feels like the first time again, it hurts just a little so you tell him to move.  
"I'm good now; you can move." You tap his hip to let him know your good.   
"Okay." he starts to thrust slowly, looking down at you the whole time.  
You're looking up at him crying cause it hurts, but it also so beautiful. He finds his rhythm, and it makes you loose concentration. You start to move your head to the side.   
He's missed seeing your eyes roll back and your head turn when he's doing you just right.  
He begins to push a little harder, and you grab his ass.  
He takes this as a sign he's doing something right.   
He continues this pace until you grab hold of his face and say "fuck me harder."  
He smirks and starts thrusting harder.   
"Oh, fuck! I've missed you." He yells.   
He grabs your hips and pushes you in with every thrust.  
You feel it coming on. Flip works your clit to get you there so you can come at the same time. "I'm cumming." You whimper  
"Me too, babe, me too." He replies looking up at the ceiling cause it looks   
"Shit!", you say as you cum.  
Flip thrust into you a few more times and grunts as he rides out his orgasm.   
Once he finishes in you, h e falls on top of you and kisses your chest and nibbles on your breasts you comb through his sweaty hair.   
"Gosh, I've missed you so much." He says while leaving pecks all over your chest.   
"That was pretty good, I have to admit."   
Flip looks at you, hair all wet and in his face from sweat, "I've bet you've never been fucked like that before."   
"Actually, I have a few times."  
"By who?" He's perched up on the bed, looking down at you. His expression shows he's jealous and worried you might have done something.   
"A soldier once upon a time." You move his hair out of his face.   
He laughs cause you're talking about him, "Oh really." he raises his eyebrows.  
"Yep, he was younger than you had more stamina." You whisper the last part.   
"I see how it is." he replies and tickles you   
You giggle and squirm, "okay, okay, truce." 

After a while, you both settle down.   
You lay on Flips chest and be runs circles on your naked back.  
"Fuck!" you get up and look at Flip, "did we blow out the candles?"   
"Shit," Flip shoots up and runs toward the kitchen.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yosn= your other siblings name

As you wait for Flip you fix the blankets and sheets so you can over yourself.   
Flip runs back into the room once you’ve gotten settled.  
You open the blankets and move over so he can slide in.   
Flip slides right next to you and rests his back on the headboard looking down at you,   
Flips begins, “Any longer and the kitchen table would have turned into wax. He laughs, I put the food away too. We’ll do the dishes tomorrow.”   
“You did that all naked. Not very hygienic.”  
He looks down, “Well I had no choice.”   
“I’m just teasing you.” You pat his stomach.   
“I know I know.” He grabs hold of your hand and kisses it.   
Flip slides down the bed and rests his head on the pillow next to yours.  
He’s looking deeply into your eyes and rubbing circles on your naked back.   
“This feels so right.” He whispers   
“What feels right?” You open one eye to look at him.   
“Having you back in this bed feels so right.”   
“I agree.” you yawn out.  
Flip laughs and he watches you fall asleep first. Flip can’t he’s afraid if he falls asleep this dream will be over. 

You hear a phone ring and this makes you shift in the bed. You feel a weight on your chest, what the hell. You look down to see it’s Flip head resting on your chest. The events of last night rolling through your mind. The phone still ringing in the background and brings you out of your daze.   
Flip is knocked out so you slowly move his head and rollover on the bed to answer the phone. 

“This is the Zimmerman residence.”   
“Hey (yn) it’s jimmy.”  
“Hey jimmy you.” look up at the clock next to the phone, “it’s 6am Jimmy.”   
“Yeah Flip was supposed to meet me at the office today. Is he okay?”   
You turn over and look at flip again.   
“He’s fine but I don’t think he’ll be coming in today.”   
“Uhm well, I’ll tell Bridges,” Jimmy says with a little giggle.   
“Sounds good.”   
“Hope you too had fun.” jimmy laughs  
“Not a word Jimmy.” and you hang up on him. 

“Who was that?” Flip asks in his deep morning groggy voice.   
“It’s jimmy you’re late for work.”   
"What time is it.”   
“6am.”   
“Oh shit I am late.” Flip throws the blankets off of him and runs to the bathroom.   
You cant believe he is really going to leave you home right after you two had make-up sex and go to work.   
"Are you going to go in?” You ask him while giving him a look of death.   
He doesn’t say anything and walks further into the bathroom to take a piss. He washes his hands and turns to walk back to the bed.   
“No, I’m staying home.”  
“Good cause I told jimmy you're calling out today.”   
“Good cause I’ve got some work do here.” He smirks while playing with the blankets covering your naked body.   
“Oh is that so,” you pull the sheets out of his hold.   
He looks at you like a kid who just got his candy snatched. “Well if you’ll let me.” He looks up giving you puppy eyes. You want to but it been a while since you’ve had sex and as much as you missed it you are terribly sore and you don’t have it in you to go another round.

“I’d love to but I'm really sore so maybe we could just cuddle”, you say shyly you feel bad and a little embarrassed.   
Flip smiles and leans into you and gives you a very deep kiss. He pulls away first. You lick your lips as to recover. He shuffles in the bed to get more comfortable and says, “Cuddling it is.” Flip lifts his arms as a sign for you to get closer. You relax under his arm and rest your head on his chest drawing circles on his chest. 

“Did you enjoy LA?”  
“I did it felt good to be home.”  
“This doesn’t feel like your home?”   
“LA is my hometown it’s just different. Here is where I went to college, got married, and became a wife. I just felt like LA reminds me of my youth.” You smile up at him.   
“I get that. Do you want to move back for good?”  
“Not really, I think I’ve had my fun. I’m too old now anyway.” You laugh.  
“You’re not as old as me.” Flip feels a little guilty you married him when you were young he’s nine years older than you. “If you want to live your youth you can, I wont stop you.”   
"Are you serious right now,” you say as you move off of him.   
"I know I took some good years of your “prime time”, I just don’t want you to feel like your missing out.” He explains.   
“I don’t feel like I’m missing out Flip. I had fun in LA I partied did things I shouldn’t have but at the end of the day I just wanted to come home to you. I just wanted you.” You begin to cry and Flips heartaches watching you become sad again. He wipes your tears away with his hands.

You pull him away without saying a word you get up to use the bathroom. 

Flip doesn’t know what to think. He knows sex cant fix everything. But he did feel insecure about your age difference. He didn’t know what he said that was wrong. He just doesn’t know how to make it up to you. He knows a good way to start and that’s with food. Flip gets out of bed to make you your favorite. French Toast. 

You exit the bathroom to see the bed empty. You’ll use Flips absence as way to get cleaned up. You smell like sex. You’ll take a shower but this time you’ll use the master bath. You find a clean towel and washcloth in the linen closet in the hallway and walk back to the master bath. You rummage through the counters under the sink to find a shower cap your thankful the activities of last night didn’t ruin your hair. You find your trusty old clear shower cap still under the sink, you put your hair inside and de clothe before hopping in the shower. 

FPV

Flip hasn’t made French Toast since you’ve been gone. He tried to stay away from things that reminded him of you. He wondered if you’d want eggs on the side too, when you made French toast for him you always added eggs cause he liked it that way. He got all the ingredients together. Eggs, Milk, cinnamon, vanilla extract, day old bread, don’t forget the nutmeg. But first I need to clean this kitchen from last night's dinner. 

YPV

Shower time was a good time to reflect on the recent events. Had you given it up too soon? You’ve wanted to have sex with Flip since you arrived mostly because you were touch starved. But it felt so right like your bodies were meant for each other. Flip clearly wanted nothing to do with that Rebel chick. It was really all for work. But still you needed to feel like you could trust him. He said sorry the words you needed hear face to face. Could you forgive him? He is clearly remorseful over his actions it’s you who has to get over it. You cant keep this grudge against him forever. You know deep down that you want him and no one else. Now you just have to figure out where the two of you go from here. 

FPV 

Kitchen cleaned. Breakfast ready. I wish it was summer so we could have breakfast outside like we used to on the Sundays I didn’t have to work. But it’s too cold so breakfast in bed will have to do. I reach for the trays that are above the fridge and start preparing her tray. Fuck I don’t have flowers. Flip looks outside the kitchen window across the street at Mrs.Baker's house. She won't mind if I steal some of her Calla Lillies. I run across the street and pick a few of the red Calla Lillies and make a run for it. Thank god that woman is old. I put the flowers in a small vase that's underneath the kitchen sink and fill it with water. I’ve made Breakfast sausages, eggs, and French toast. I arrange the tray so it looks nice, yep this looks good. I hope (yn) likes it.

YPV

Once cleaned and moisturized you go through your shared dresser in the master to see if your old clothes are still there. Yep, they are. You aren’t going anywhere today so grab a pullover sweater with some old jeans and socks. You smell something good and its coming from the kitchen. As you turn to exit the room, flip barges in with a tray full of food. 

“Good Morning beautiful”, Flip looks at the bed but you’re not there.   
“Over here Flip”, you wave from the closet door.  
“Oh you're up,” he stammers, “I um, well here is breakfast. I thought you would still be relaxing in bed.”   
“Well it's not too late for that. Is that my famous French toast. Hmm, it's my favorite you remembered.”  
“I remembered everything.” He says offended.   
You don’t know what to say to that.   
“Well thanks again, are you going to join me?” You ask flip.  
“Yes, I will.”  
“I’ll take that tray so you can get your own."   
“Ok.”  
You walk up to Flip and take the tray from him, and before you can pull away Flip pecks you on the lips real fast and turns to leave.   
You are surprised by his actions but it's really making you want him even more.   
You place the tray on the dresser against the opposite wall of the bed. So you can make up the bed. You fix the sheets the comforter and pillows.   
Flip walks in on you doing this.   
“Let me help you.”  
You swat him away, “No, I got it. I'm almost done anyway.”  
“Fine,” he just stands back with his tray in hand.   
You step back to look at the bed and make sure everything in place.   
“It’s ready now.” You say.   
He waits for you to grab your tray off the dresser and then he sits down next to you. Once you are both settled you begin to eat. After a while, the food is finished both trays left on the end of the bed.   
You stare at your tray looking at the beautiful red Calla Lillies. They look familiar.   
“Flip where did you get those flowers from?”  
“I bought them”, he says not looking at you.   
“No you didn’t you stole those from Mrs. Baker’s garden didn’t you?” You raise your voice a little.   
“So what if I did, do you like them? Flip turns to look at you his back resting on the headboard looking down at you.   
“Yes I love them. But next time if you don’t have any flowers don’t steal them, okay.” Looking up at him. He smirks and leans down to kiss you. This time deepening the kiss and sliding down the bed he turns you over so you are on your back. He moves his legs in-between yours.   
You break away from the kiss and Flip doesn’t take the hint, he starts kissing your neck working his hand up your shirt to massage your breasts.   
“Flip the trays are still on the bed.”   
“Forget about them.”  
“I cant I don’t want to knock anything over.”   
Flip lets out a long groan and rolls over on his back.   
Once he’s off of you, you move down the bed and place one tray on top of the other. You grab the vase with the flower and put it on your nightstand before leaving the room for the kitchen.  
Leaving Flip lying there looking defeated. 

You clean the plates and the pans Flip used to cook in. You grab a chair so you can put the trays in the cabinet above the fridge. You place the chair in front of the fridge just about to hop on.   
Flip comes from behind you and picks you up and places you down.   
“I got this.” He says as he grabs the trays and puts them in the cabinet. He turns to you.   
“I had it.”  
“You would have hurt yourself, you know you can't reach.”  
“I would have managed.”  
“I bet spider monkey.”   
“Not funny flip.”  
“Ok sorry but we need to get your car from Bob’s. Are you ready?”  
You hadn’t noticed Flip was changed into his own pair of sweatpants and sweatshirt his old military ones. He looks good. Fuck why are sweatpants on a dude so hot.   
“No let me get my shoes.” You say in rushed tone hoping you weren’t starting too long. 

You put on some Nike sneaks. Whip your hair out of your face. “I'm ready.” You yell from the room. 

Walking to the front door where he is waiting for you.  
He closes the door behind you.   
You wait by the truck for him.   
He opens the passenger door for you, who said chivalry was dead. 

The ride to the Bob’s is slow. It's like Flip is taking his time on purpose.   
“So how does it feel to be home.”  
“You tell me, how does it feel to have me home?”   
He lets out a sigh, why do you have to be so difficult. He thinks to himself.   
“It feels right. You don’t know how much I’ve missed you. Even the little things like how you twitch your nose in your sleep. I’ve missed all of you and I just want to stay in our bubble forever. Just you and me no one else.” 

“I've missed you too Flip. More than I’d like to admit. I'm ready to work on us no matter how long it takes.” You mean it. You want this you’ll do whatever it takes. He’s stopped the car at a green light after hearing your words. And placed it in the park. He rushes across the cab seat and takes your face in hands to kiss you like it was his last.   
There are people honking at him, but he doesn’t care. Cause he’s heard the words he’s been waiting to hear for so long. 

After the kiss Flip drives faster to Bobs.   
Flip pulls into the Bob's parking lot.

“Wait here.” He instructs. 

He gets out the truck and talks to Bob about your car.   
He's such a man's man. You think to yourself shaking your head.   
He pays Bob and walks over to the passenger side.   
You roll down the window. Flip puts his forearms on the window seal.   
“Bob replaced all four tires and did a rotation that's all it needed.”  
“Thank god. I missed by baby girl.”   
Flip laughs and opens your door.   
“Here are your keys follow me home."   
“Actually I want to go to my sisters' house.” You see the anger building in his eyes. “I'll be home for dinner.” hopefully sweetening the deal.   
Flip pushes your back into the door and corners you.  
“Why?”  
“Well, I want to catch up. Plus she has a long-distance phone line so I can call (yosn). “  
Flip takes a moment and thinks it over. He has to trust that you meant what you said in the car earlier.   
“Okay but I don’t want you out too late. Promise.”  
“Promise.” you get on your tippy-toes and give him a kiss on the cheek.  
With keys in hand, you get into your car and wave at Flip and Bob as you leave the parking lot.   
“Flip your wive is one of a kind. You better keep that.” Bob says  
“She sure is and I am. Thanks again, Bob.”  
“Anytime.”   
Flip drives home alone.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yfhs= your favorite hair style.

It's a cold spring day but you don’t care. You let the comfortable top-down and ride like wind. With the top down you can see flowers blooming on the trees that you pass. You’re driving with the music volume loud and your left arm is leaning on the door. You’ve got your man back and it fees so good. 

As you drive you think back to last night's events and the truths he revealed. He knows his actions hurt you and he wants to make it up to you. You need to give him that chance. 

You arrive at your sister's house unannounced again. You knock on the door and hear shuffling and then a, “fuck my foot.”  
She answers the door covering herself naked body. Oh shit, you just interrupted something. 

“I’m so sorry this is a bad time, huh?”  
She just looks at you, “yes it is.”   
You look inside and the person on the couch is not Jackson.  
“What the hell?” You barge in. “Who are you?”  
“No one, I was just leaving.” They say in a female voice. They’re fumbling trying to find their clothes. You catch sight of some side boob. But as they dress you can tell they are the butch type. You had no idea your sister was bisexual but then again its the 70’s. You look back at your sister in shock.   
They kiss your sister on the cheek before they leave. 

“So we both have fucked up marriages. Good to know.” You pat your sister on the back as the woman leaves.   
“First of all I'm not married to Jackson we are partners and right now we are trying an open relationship so chill out.”   
“Oh that just seems wrong.”  
“Well its my relationship not yours. You just ended a really good time for me. How can I help you?” She says all this while she is dressing the couch.   
“Oh I just wanted to catch up. Plus I wanted to use your phone to call (yosn).”  
“Oh yes we haven’t given them updates have we.”  
“No we haven’t. I’m a little puzzled at how you are so invested in my relationship but you won't let me in yours.”  
“Don't be you put your business out there and I don’t."  
“Technically your business is out there if y’all are fucking multiple people.”  
She doesn’t say a word. And just gets the phone to call (yosn).  
“Hello,”  
“Hello, its (yn) and (ysn)”  
“Hey girls. What are you up to?"  
“Well (ysn) is in an open relationship and Flip and I made up.”  
“Not surprised by either one of you.”  
YS: “So y’all fucked. its Friday and you went home on Wednesday. Wow, that was fast.” She wiggles her eyebrows at you. You roll your eyes at her teasing.   
YN: “Don’t judge me. He’s very good at it.” You smirk and your siblings just laugh. “We still have a lot to work on but I'm optimistic.”  
YOSN:” Good. Im happy for both of you if you’re happy then I'm happy.”  
YS: “How is your move to San Fran?”

The three of you talk for hours and you look at the time it's about three in the afternoon. You should get home.  
“Well, I have to head home.”  
“Oh you better leave before the street lights come on, don’t want you to get in trouble.” (ys) teases you.  
“That's not funny Flip is not my father.”   
“Don’t get in your feelings. I understand how it is. Just drive safe okay.” She kisses your cheek and you say goodbye to (yosn) on the phone and leave. 

You put your car in the garage and walk into the house to see Flip on the floor in the living room. He’s looking at your old photo album. You put your keys on the table and announce your presence.   
“I’m home.”  
“I know, how is (ysn) and (yosn).”  
You sit down on the dark wood floors next to him leaning your back against the couch.   
You nudge Flip, “You aren’t going to believe this.”   
Flip looks back at you with his brow raised.” won't believe what?”  
“(ysn) and Jackson are in an open relationship.”   
“You're lying. “  
“Flip you know I'm a terrible liar I'm serious.”   
“No way, and how do you know this?” He turns so you're sitting face to face.  
“So I walked in on (ysn) on the couch with another woman.”  
“A woman!” Flip shakes his head in disbelief.   
“Yes well they had the female anatomy but I don’t think they identify as a woman.”  
“What the hell does that even mean?”   
“Don't worry about it but that’s what I saw.”  
“I wonder how that works.” Flip thinks about it. Could he share you with someone no he couldn't? And you sure as hell won't have it.   
“Don't get any ideas, Zimmerman”. you can tell his wheels are turning.   
“I'm not I'm just curious as to how that works for them.”   
“Well let's not wonder its not our relationship. I just had to share that with someone.” You shrug and pull your knees into your chest.   
“Whatever you say.” He turns back around to what he was previously doing before you interrupted him.  
“What are you looking at?”   
You lean on his back and rest your chin on his shoulder.   
“I'm looking at our wedding photos.” He hands you one.

You got married in July of 1969. You look down at the photo. Flip is wearing a red suit with a white button-down no tie. his head in your neck your left arm around his neck your right-hand holds your sunflower bouquet. Flips arms are wrapped around your waist he was just about to lift you and twirl you. You are wearing a maxi cream floral eyelet embroidery dress with flared sleeves and no shoes. Your hair in (yfhs). You have such a huge smile on your face from laughing for Flip had just said something really inappropriate to you right as this photo was being taken. That was the best day of your fucking life. If only you could go back there and start over. 

“Look we were so happy then,” you get on your knees and lean on Flip’s back to show him the photo.   
“Yes, we were.”  
He takes the photo and puts it back in place with the others. He turns around so you both are face to face.   
“What would it take of me to get us back there?” He asks holding both of your hands. He rubs your ring finger and finds nothing there. He’s not surprised. He stopped wearing his but for work reasons. At least that what he tells himself. 

You look away from him and look outside towards the back yard.   
“I don’t know Flip.” you look back at him. His face is so serious he’s hanging on to every word that you say.   
“I have to think about it. I want us but I guess I have to get over the cheating. It hurt so much. You looked right at me and said you didn't even know me. I am your fucking wife like our love didn’t mean anything.” You let go of his hands and scoot away from him. 

“It was so easy for you to say. After hearing those words I wondered if you really felt that way. Like I was just a moment in your life that would pass. You can tell me why you did it a thousand times. But it does change the fact that you did it. Couldn’t you have found another way? I guess we’ll never know, will we.” You start to cry again.

“ Maybe I won't get over it but I don’t want to hold that over your head for the rest of our lives. That's not love and its not fair. I don’t want to be suspicious of you or jealous of other women. I want to have security. The security that you won't do it again. So I don’t know Flip, I don’t know.” You throw your hand in the air out of frustration. You really don’t know what you want. You look to flip to see what his reaction is. 

He’s not crying but he looks upset. He has this look on that you can't explain.   
“I hope you understand that it’s complicated for me.”   
“I understand. All I can say is that I’m sorry. I can’t take it back as much as I want to I cant.”   
“Tell me Flip what would have happened had I not caught you that night. Would you have ever told me?”   
“I had a plan to tell you once the case was over. So I could have proof of why fucking her was so effective.” After he says it out loud it sound worse. “That sounds really bad.”   
“It sounds terrible. You nod in agreement. “Was I not approachable? why couldn’t you just tell me about the whole case before it got so far.”   
“What was I going to say. Hey, we got this human traffic lady who wants me to fuck her and once I fuck her she’ll tell me everything.” He is standing up now pacing the living room. 

“Yes flip that’s literally all you had to say.” You raise your hands up in frustration.   
“Are you serious. No that's true cause You wouldn’t have believed me. Don’t tell me it would have been that easy.” He steps closer to you looking down at you as you are looking up at him. His eyes are searching your eyes looking for any indication that you might be lying right now.

“I may not have believed you initially. But I would have asked you if you were for real and then I would have done my research to confirm your story.” He’s pacing again.   
“And by research you mean to break into the records room.”

“No, I would have asked Jimmy and Bridges to confirm. And if they did then I would have let you do it. But with restrictions. I can be flexible you just should’ve given me the chance to show you that. Are standing up now in front of the couch pointing at Flip. “Since it seems you didn’t already know that about me.” Flip just looks down after you say that.  
“ I…I didn’t know. I was scared of the unknown and I made my worst nightmare come true.”  
“What did I ask of you when you proposed to me?”

He thinks back to that winter night when you both got caught in the rain. He got down on one knee in the middle of you street.   
“(yfn) (yln) I wont get out of this rain, until you say that you will marry me.   
“Flip thats not fair its so cold out here you’ll catch a cold.” You yelled from the sidewalk where you were standing under an umbrella.  
“I’ll catch a cold for you.”   
“Oh my god that so corny. You roll your eyes at him. “I'll say yes”, he starts to get up, and you continue, “only if you promise me that no matter what you will always be honest with me. If you can promise me that then I will marry you. “ you scream again from the sidewalk.   
He got up off the street and waltz all suave over to you.  
he grabbed the umbrella from you and held it over you two and looked down and said, “I promise no matter what I will be honest with you until the day I die.”   
“Well mr. Zimmerman it seems we have a deal.”   
He grins from ear to ear. Grabs you and kisses you with a fever you’ve never known.   
Once he’s made you lips sore he pulls away and pulls out an opal pink stone ring and a gold band. And puts it on your finger.   
“How does the fit Mrs. Zimmerman?”   
“It fits just fine Mr.Zimmerman”, you beam up at him. 

Flip comes back to you. And sees that he’s been in a trance for so long that you are in the kitchen making yourself a glass of wine. He broke the very first promise he ever made to you. He’s in such deep shit. He feels worse about himself than he did before. He didn’t even know that was possible. 

You make your way back to the living room a beer in hand for Flip and wine for you.   
“I see you’ve come back to earth,” you say to Flip as you hand him his beer. He takes it from you without looking at you.  
You sit on the coach criss-cross applesauce and place a pillow between your legs.   
“I broke my first promise to you,” flip turns on the floor and places his left arm on the coach to look up at you.   
“Yes you did.” You sip some of your wine. He also forgot he even promised that. But you won't add fuel to the fire.   
“I know I forgot you don’t have to rub it in.” he runs his hands through his hair its a nervous habit of his.   
“I didn’t say anything.”   
“You didn’t have to your face said it all. It always does. What about what you said in the car?That you’re willing to do whatever to make this work. I mean it’s going to be uncomfortable but I want this more than anything….I thought you wanted us.” He motions between you and him. He’s still standing. You think he’s too nervous to sit down.   
“I do more than anything but I have a hang-up I don’t know I can get over. I thought I could but look at those photos Flip. Look at us. You point to the photo book on the floor.   
“We didn’t have a care in the world. We’ve always lived like nothing could break us. Like our love had its own forcefield. That was a fantasy. Our reality is more fucked.”   
Flip just nods in response. He doesn’t really know what to say. He needs a fucking cigarette.   
“Im going out for a smoke.”  
“Okay.”

Flip grabs his sherpa and opens up the Arcadia door in the living room to smoke out in the backyard. That wine is moving straight through you. You better grab some food. You eat some leftovers and grab the bottle of wine and relax on the couch while Flip is outside smoking. You don’t know how long it will be. Your hoping you can drink your sadness away, 

Flip sits outside on the patio chair with a cigarette in one hand and a beer in the other. He knew “the talk” would be awkward and emotionally heavy but he wasn’t expecting it to be this hard. He loved you so much he just made a mistake one fucking mistake that would cost his marriage. He takes a deep inhale of his cigarette and leans into the chair and tries to breathe through his anger. 

You are watching some show on TV when Flip comes in from his smoke. He doesn’t say a word and just sits down on the floor and watches TV with you. It a comfortable silence. You look at your watch and find it's 8pm. And you're feeling really tipsy from the wine.   
You don’t want to sleep in the bed with him tonight. It would just confuse you even more. You’re starting to regret fucking him last night.

“I’m going to bed Flip.” you shake his hair before you get off the couch. You forget you had a pillow in between your legs as You rise from the couch the pillow falls to the ground right as your feet are about to touch the ground. you trip on the pillow almost landing on your face.   
Flip catches you before you fall.   
You laugh hysterically in his checks.   
“Im ok I swear”. you pat flips chest.   
“Are you drunk?” He pulls you away to see your eyes are glossy and you're blushing.   
He looks over to the coffee table and finds the wine bottle, when did you grab that?  
“No im not just tipsy that all.” You say shaking your head.   
“Let me help you to bed.”  
“No im good let me go.” You try to pull away but he picks you up bridal style and carries you to the master. You see where he is taking you and you mumble,“No I'm sleeping alone tonight.” 

He stops in the doorway. And looks down at you to find you’re half asleep. He puts you on the bed and takes off your jeans. He leaves everything else on. He puts the blankets over you and kisses your forehead. He admires you for a while before he decided to take his leave. He kisses you again and whispers good night. 

He closes the door. And starts to cry. He loves you so much. Why was he so fucking stupid? He starts to bang his hand on his head. He does it until he feels blood on this face. He doesn’t even care. He goes to the linen closet and grabs a blanket and pillow.   
He drags himself to the couch. Throws the blanket and pillow on the couch.   
The then grabs your wine bottle and throws it away. It was empty. When had you even drunk that much? He turns all the lights off. Makes sure all the doors are locked. Once everything is locked up he goes back to the couch and fixes it and sleeps.


	17. Chapter 17

You wake up in a sweat. Looking down, you fell asleep in your sweatshirt. Oh no, and you got up too fast the room is spinning, and you have a pounding headache, and you have to pee so bad. You wait until the room stops spinning before you try any sudden movements. Your on Flip’s side of the bed and roll over onto your side of the bed and find no one. You get up and look at seeing you in the master bedroom alone. Odd. You move to get off the bed and hit your knee on the nightstand, and the vase with the Calla Lillies breaks and shatters. Are you fucking serious right now?

Flip hears glass shatters and jolts up. He turns on the kitchen light and goes to the “everything drawer and finds his .45 revolver; he walks down the hall, all stealthy gun pointed.   
He hears you cursing, and he barges in. The room is dark, so he turns on the light. 

“Oh my god Flip put the gun away!” You have your hands on your chest in fear of the gun.  
He looks around, and just sees you, and puts the gun in his pants.   
“Sorry, I thought someone broke in.” He starts to walk over to you.  
“No, don’t come over here. There is glass on the floor.” Your palms open and outstretched to stop him.   
He looks down and sees the shattered glass on the floor with Calla Lillies and water mixed in too.   
“How did you do that?” He points to the mess on the floor.   
“I don't know, okay. It was dark.” You crawl down to the bottom of the bed and loose your footing again and fall to the floor.   
You just lay there, staring at the ceiling. This has to be the clumsiest you have ever been in your life.   
Flip runs over to you and gets down on the floor to see if you're okay. He checks your head to make sure you're not bleeding.   
“I'm okay Flip; I'm just drunk.” You swat him away. His concern is cute, but right now your a little embarrassed by your lack of control.   
“You know I’ve never seen you drunk. You are very clumsy.” He smiles brightly at you.   
You close your eyes for a second, and you laugh too. You open your eyes again and see Flips face has dried blood in it. “What the hell happened to you?” You sit up immediately after seeing that and grab his face and move it around. You then look at his body and then his hands. His hands are bloodstained too.   
“Did you do this to yourself?”  
He doesn’t reply.   
“Oh Flip. Come on”   
You lead him to the bathroom.   
He grabs your hips to keep you steady cause he’s afraid you’ll fall again.   
You use the bathroom first and he leans against the bathroom counter.   
Once you're done you wash your hands. You grab the peroxide from under the sink and your washcloth and run the water over the cloth.   
Flip just watches you not sure what to do he’s ashamed of his actions.   
You lean against the wall that leads to the bathroom facing flip.   
He doesn’t want to look up.   
“Why would you do that Flip?”   
He doesn’t answer.   
Once you fell the water is warm enough you turn it off. And rub the peroxide on the washcloth  
“Flip go sit on the toilet.”He does as he’s told. 

You rub his face clean as you wash his face. You see all the freckles that paint his face like stars in night sky. You admire his strong nose and beautiful ears. This is your husband. He’s sculpted like a fucking god. Once his face is all clean you go back to the sink and rinse the blood off the cloth. You warm it up again and put more peroxide on it. You return to Flip, and now you wash his hands.   
Once he’s all cleaned up, you throw the cloth in the trash.   
You both don’t say anything.   
Until you are about to leave and return to the bed. Flip grabs you and pulls you to him. He puts his head on your torso and says thank you. You look up at the ceiling holding back tears. He is so broken by his actions. How can you keep putting him through this turmoil? You rake your fingers through his hair. 

“Tell me why you hurt yourself.”  
“I wanted… I wanted to feel the pain I feel inside on the outside.” He chokes out.   
You cant take it. You pull him away from you and slap him.   
He looks up at you with wide eyes, “what the hell, woman?!?   
“Flip what the fuck, man?! You can't treat yourself like that.”   
“Well, you slapping me doesn’t help!” He stands up and moves to sit at the edge of the bed, holding on to his check, being dramatic like you really hurt him. He knows he’s taken worse to the face, but he likes getting a rise out of you. 

“You're right sorry. You take a deep breath and sit next to him on the bed. “ill give you three months.”  
“What are talking about? Three months for what?” He turns to you, still holding his cheek.   
“Ill give you three months for us to try and work it out. If I keep holding this cheating thing overhead after the three months, then I know personally I cant do it. If not, then we just stay together.”   
He smiles at you and stands up to shake your hand.  
“You’ve got yourself a deal, Mrs. Zimmerman.” Your shake it back, smiling back at him.   
“Stop pretending that slap did not hurt.” You push him back a little.   
“It did so; you have quite an arm there.”

“I have to clean up that glass." You get a broom from the laundry room and clean up the glass.   
Flip grabs the flowers and finds another vase in the kitchen.   
He brings it back to the room just when you’ve finished sweeping. He’s about to put it back on your nightstand.  
“No don't, I don’t trust myself. Put it on the dresser.”   
“you're right I shouldn’t trust you either. “  
“Shut up.” You glare at him.   
You look at the clock on Flip's side of the bed. And see its three am.   
“I'm going back to bed, join me.”   
Flip doesn't hesitate he gets onto his side of the bed. And places the gun in his dresser.  
“Um, can you turn the lights off? I'm afraid I'll fall again in the dark if I try.”  
He laughs again and turns the bedroom lights off.   
“It's not that funny."  
“It is. I want to get you drunk more often.”  
“Why so I can just beat myself black and blue from falling?”  
He's laughing hysterically cause he’s envisioning you falling throughout the house cause you’re drunk.   
“Flip you can leave this bed if you keep laughing at me.”   
He looks at you grinning and sees your dead ass serious.  
“Ok sorry ill stop.  
“Thank you.” you turn onto your side. As you try to sleep you feel Flip fidgeting in the bed trying to get comfortable. You try to shut your eyes but he keeps tossing and turning.   
“Flip .”  
“What?"  
“Are you okay?”   
He takes a deep sigh, “I usually sleep on your side and this side just feels so stiff.”   
“Fine let's switch.”  
“Really."  
“Yes cause you're keeping me up.”  
you roll over and Flip doesn’t move. You roll right into the front of him so your but is on his groin area.   
He likes this position. He starts moving his body closer to your but.   
“Flip it's not happening now move." You nudge him in the stomach.  
“Fine.” He climbs over you and gives you a quick peck on the lips as he moves to “his side”.  
“Good?” you ask as he settles down.  
“Good” he replies.   
“Night,” you say as you roll over to sleep on your side.  
“Night,” he says as he looks at the ceiling.


	18. Chapter 18

A month and a half later. 

You and Flip have fallen into a rhythm. He sticks to a strict schedule. He goes to work at 8 am and is home by 5. You work from 7 am to 4 pm every weekday. He makes breakfast for the first half of the week and you the other half. Dinner is always ready by 7 pm and Thursdays are your date night. So you usually eat out on those nights. 

Over these past weeks, you and Flip have gotten closer. You both have changed so much during the time you were separated it’s like you two are dating each other again. Since the two of you are dating again you have decided that sex is off-limits until you work your shit out. Flip was not very happy about that, he pouted like a sad puppy for like a week hoping you would change your mind but you didn't. Last time sex just made your emotions towards him foggy and you need a clear mind in order to make this work. 

Even without the sex Flip has become more attentive to your needs both emotionally and physically. You’ve noticed he is more sensitive to the looks you to get whenever you are out in town. He will stare a white person down if they looked appalled that two of you are holding hands. You don’t know if that because of the KKK case or if he is just being possessive of you. No matter the reason you like that he is willing to make someone else as uncomfortable as they make you. You first started dating he was the same way, but after a while, you got tired of the countless confrontations that you told him to stop confronting people and to just ignore it as you did. But now that he’s back to his old ways you find him even sexier its been so hard holding out but you have to for the sake of your heart. 

Today is Thursday and you have had a rough start to your day. You’d been vomiting in the morning for the past three days and you are so over it. You swear it’s just a stomach bug, many people in your office have been sick the same way. To add on to your ailments you’ve had this fatigue that you can't explain. It’s like everything is happening in slow motion you just want this sickness to pass. 

“Yn, I really think you should take the day off and go to the doctors,” Flip says while he hands you a wet washcloth to wipe your face.   
“It's just a stomach bug. Half the office had it last week. I just have to ride it out.” You wipe your face and sit on the bathroom floor trying to recover.  
“I'm taking you to the doctor let me call Jimmy.”  
“No Flip don't, you stand up and grab his arms to stop him from leaving, go to work you stayed home with me yesterday. I can take care of myself.” Flip paused looking deep into your eyes to make sure you were serious about going to the doctors.   
“Ok ill go to work if you promise you’ll go to the doctor.”  
“….Fine ill go to the doctor. “  
“Good, Im going to make you some chamomile tea.” He kisses your forehead and leaves the room.

You hate doctors they never believe you're in pain. Especially since there are like no black doctors in Colorado Springs. Your ob-gyn is an Indian woman and she is way better than your PCP. You think you’ll make an appointment with her since you need to get birth control anyway cause you are not sure how long you can last. 

You call Dr. Bhakata office and get an appointment for eleven that morning. 

Flip comes back into the room with your tea. He finds you getting ready for the day.  
"I thought we decided that you would stay home and visit the doctor. He places your tea on your nightstand. He sits on the edge of the bed looking at you in disbelief.”

“We did, I’m getting ready because I have a doctors appointment in two hours. And since I don’t feel good I’ve been moving very slow lately. So, I’m giving myself time to get ready. If you must know.” You don’t like it when he treats you like a kid. 

“Oh, good. What doctor are you going to? I can take you and go into work later.”

“No need. I want to do this on my own. I’m going to see my PCP Dr. Allen.” You lied. some things you will keep to yourself.   
“I thought you didn’t like her.”  
“I don’t but I feel like shit so my options are limited.” You finally have all your clothes picked out, you are now undressing to hop in the shower. 

“I can join you I have like 15min before I have to go to work.” Flip is already undressing.

“No cowboy, you know the rule.” Sometimes you wished the master bath had a door that you could close instead of this stupid entry fame. You ignore him and check the temperature of the water before you hop in. 

“We don’t have to do anything come onnnnnn.” Flip is leaning on the from bottoming his flannel looking at you with a big smirk. 

Your checks are starting to burn and you cant stop looking at his chest. No, you shake your head and push him out the bathroom, “I’m contagious and not in the mood for whatever you will try to pull once you get in there.”

He grabs your arms and pulls you into him. He takes on hand and holds like the two of you are about to Walts or something. He looks down at you and your naked body, “Come on you know you want this.” His hands start to roam he’s touching your ass know with both handfuls.

“No flip we can’t.” He’s not listening his hands are about to reach your sweet spot and you feel nauseous again. You start to retch you're going to throw up on him if he dents move. You push him away with all your strength and make it to the toilet just in time. 

Flip runs after you, “I'm sorry I should have listened.” He says while looking at you with his hands on his neck. 

once you finish you say, “Flip just go to work okay.” 

Fuck he feels like he fucked up again. He might have pulled you too hard he should have listened to you. “…..Okay, ill go to work. Call me after you see the doctor please.”  
He feels really bad you can tell.   
“I will now go.”   
He kisses you on the forehead again and leaves. 

Thank you, Jesus, you say as you hop in the shower. As much as you would have wanted to continue you just can’t. It's weird for you and not cause of the cheating thing. You are quite over that now. You just feel different about your body and what if it hurts again. It’s just easier for you mentally if you don't. 

You don’t even get to drink the tea Flip made you. You felt so nauseous after you showered and got ready that you laid in the bed until it was time to leave. 

You arrive at Dr. Bhakata’s office 15min early their office is not too far from your sister's house. It was hard to drive you kind of wish you had taken Flip on his offer. But you needed some space to work whatever this was out. 

The lobby was small with female anatomy pictures decorating the lilac walls. The waiting room was full of pregnant women you felt out of place. You take a seat next to a pregnant woman and her toddler child. You smile at them as you take your seat. 

You watch as the little girl draws on her coloring book and her mom reads the latest fashion magazine. The little girl has curly blonde hair and forest green eyes. She is well behaved.

“Your daughter is very well behaved.” You say to the mom. The mom looks like she is in her early 30’s she also has curly blonde hair and green eyes.

“Thank you. It took many trials and errors. Do you have kids?"  
“Oh no, I don’t.” You shake your head and look down. For some reason, you feel insecure that you don’t have kids.   
“Don't worry.” She places a hand on your knee. “It took me years to conceive too. But believe me, it's worth it". She rubs he protruding belly and smiles.”  
You don’t have fertility issues you had marital issues. But you won’t tell her that.   
“Thank you for those kind words.”  
She just turns and smiles at you. Her name is called and she walks into the back offices. 

You sigh and lean back in your chair. What would it be like of you and Flip had kids? What would they look like? Which parent would they favor? What if you can't have kids and Flip wants kids? You start to play with your wedding ring out of nervousness. Yes, you found your ring and start wearing it again that was one of Flip’s stipulations to your new arrangement. 

“YN…Yn”  
From hearing your name you look up its one of the nurses calling you back.   
“Sorry I had spaced out.”  
She smiles at you, “no worries.” 

After your weigh-in and vitals are taken you wait for the doctor. 

Dr. Nelli Bhakata walks in like ten minutes later. 

“Mrs. Zimmerman its been years, how are you?” She is a middle-aged Indian woman with a beautiful bronze complexion and hazel eyes. She has long hair that she wears in a French braid down he back. She hugs you and you hug her. 

“I'm good, how are you?”   
She sits in her wheeled chair across from you on the doctor's bed.   
You sit on the edge twirling your thumbs.   
“Why are you nervous?”  
"I don't know.”  
She places a hand on your knee.  
“Don't be nervous. Why has it been so long? Did you go cheating on me?”  
“No, I didn’t cheat on you.” You laugh and smile. You were cheated on….”I moved to LA for work and I haven’t been sexually active lately.”

“Oh… is everything ok at home?”  
“We…uhm…. Well, we went through a separation hence my move to LA, but I'm back now and we are good. Im here because I’ve been really nauseous lately and I want birth control.” You are rambling out of nervousness.   
“Oh… I see.” She grabs your chart and looks over the papers.  
“You’ve gained some weight. And its been a while since your last period. You say you aren’t sexually active?”  
“Uhm well. technically no not in like two years. I just had sex for the first time like two months ago.”  
“You had sex with Mr.Zimmerman?” she raises her eyebrow questionably.   
“Yes.”   
“Did you use protection? Were you on birth control?”  
You look away thinking back to that night, did Flip wear a condom? Fuck you cant remember.  
“Uhm….I know I wasn’t on birth control. I don’t know if he wore a condom and yes it was Flip.” You start chewing your inner lip. Fuck. How could you be so stupid?   
“Your vomiting is it only in the mornings?” She moves over to you to check your temperature.  
“It's mostly in the mornings but I have nausea all day.”  
She is now applying pressure to your stomach. She is unusually quiet. You don’t have a fever. “When I touch your stomach does it hurt?”  
"No, it doesn’t you shake your head and look at her.”  
“I think you're pregnant we will do a pee test.” She says this so casually,  
“What?”  
She doesn’t respond and hands you a cup. “Give this to the nurse when you are done.” She walks out. 

As you walk to the bathroom you think, you did have your period…right? You reach the bathroom and pee. You continue to think back That was before you came back. Has it been like what a month? that's not long your period was always irregular. But never months late just days late. Flip used a condom he always used too. Right? You finish peeing and hand wash your hands. You give your cup to the nurse at the nurse's station. And walk back to your room. You feel so melancholy because if you are fucking pregnant what will Flip think. When you two started dating he said he never thought of himself as a dad. He was the only child and his mom and dad were very strict. He doesn’t even have a relationship with them. What if he doesn’t want the baby? Abortion is illegal. Where could you get an abortion? Wait if Flip doesn’t want the Kid that doesn’t mean you can't leave him and raise the baby on your own. Your mom was married to your dad and she basically raised three kids on her own. 

Knock knock   
Its Dr. Bhakata

She has the cup in hand and your chart.   
“Congratulation are in order.”


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shit's about to get REALz!

You arrive home at about 1 pm. You have the ultrasound pictures of the baby. It’s the size of avocado you can't even see any features yet. You found out that you were four weeks pregnant. You change into sweat pants and one of Flip's old marine shirts and sit on the couch. You sit there trying to figure out how you are going to tell Flip. 

You tried to visit your sister at her house but no one was home. You call her at work now that you are home.

“This is ysn.”  
“Hey, it yn.”  
“hey you sound down are you okay?”  
“I'm fucking pregnant.”  
“…..Okay, that great news. I'm so happy for you. When did you find out?”  
“Today and its not good news.  
“why not?”  
“I don't know I just feel like it will complicate my marriage.”  
“Yes, it will. But all marriages are complicated.”   
“Says the woman not married.”   
“Fuck you. Tell flip. We'll, talk later. I don’t have time for your attitude. Bye love you.”

You make lunch and sit on the couch watching TV. Trying to avoid the phone call to Flip. You don’t even know how you feel about it yet. It is good news like your sister said, right? You and Flip never had a serious conversation about kids. Well, now you know even after your surgery you can have kids. So that's that. 

The telephone rings. Bringing you our of your thoughts. 

“Hello.”  
“Eye candy this is your husband, what did the doctor say?”  
He's been calling you eye candy since you’ve got home. You don’t know where that pet name came from but you like it.   
“Well..I have a virus.” You cant tell him over the phone it doesn’t feel right. So I have to wait till it passes.  
“So it was just like you said. I’m sorry I made you go. I know how much you hate doctors …well that doctor.”  
“It's okay, I'm glad I went.” That was not a lie you are glad you went. Now you just have to figure out a way to tell him.   
“Well on a lighter note, tonight is date night. And I know you don’t feel good. So I know we aren’t going out, What do you want to do?”  
You have been craving banana pudding and now you know why. So Aunt Darlene's sounds so good right now.   
“Can you pick up food from Aunt Darlene's and we can chill and watch TV?” That way when you watching TV you’ll pull out the pictures and then tell him. Perfect plan.  
“I can do that. What do you want?”

You told Flip your order and told him that he better bring home banana pudding if nothing else. He promised he would. 

After your phone call with Flip, you decide to take a nap on the couch and wait for him to come home. 

The doorbell rings waking you up from your nap. 

Flip didn’t say he was ordering delivery, ‘  
You look through the peephole its two white men. They don’t look familiar. The tv is too loud for you to pretend you're not home. And the sun is still out so you can clearly see their faces.   
You open the door. 

“Can I help you?”  
Both men look at you and then at each other. One is short and chubby with blonde hair he looks a little like he has special needs. The other is tall with a nice face and brown hair and glasses. 

“Sorry, to disturb you, ma’am, we are looking for Phillip Zimmerman he told us he lives here.”   
The only people who call Flip Phillip are not his friends.   
“Well, he’s not home. Can I leave a message?”  
The chubby one speaks, “what you live here with him?”  
“Yes, I’m his wife,” you say as if offended, “how exactly do you two know Phillip?”  
The tall one speaks, “we are old associates of his.”  
“So can I take a message?” You have a bad feeling about this. You start closing the door to create more of a barrier between you and them.   
The tall one notices and puts his foot in the door. “If he’s coming home soon we’ll wait for him.”   
You look down at this man's foot in-between your door and the way he is moving closer to you in an aggressive way. Why did you open the fucking door?  
“Okay.” You don’t know what these men will do to you. You hope Flip comes home soon.  
You open the door for both of them to come in. 

You direct them to the coach and ask if they want anything to drink.   
“Yes, ill have a beer says the chubby one.”  
“And for you? you ask the tall one.  
“I'll have water please.”  
“Coming right up.”   
You go to the kitchen and make their drinks. You look in everything drawer for the gun and its missing. Fuck Flip.   
You walk back into the living room and hand the men their drinks.  
“I'm sorry we’re not properly introduced. I'm (yfn) Phillips wife and you are?”   
“Walter.” the tall one says and “I’m Ivanhoe.” says the chubby one chuckling after for some reason. You tilt your head at Ivanhoe and Walter notices your suspicion.  
“He's always like this.”   
“Oh ok.”  
“So how do you both know Phillip?” You move to sit on the new loveseat that sits to the right of the coach.   
“You ask a lot of questions,” says Ivan hoe  
“Well you two showed up at my house unannounced I think I have the right to be curious. “  
Ivan hoe looks at you with those devilish eyes, “what did you say to me ni…”  
“We understand and apologize for the intrusion.” Walter interrupts.   
You frown cause you know that fat mutherfucker was about to call you nigger. These men must be from the Klan. You are so fucked right now. Where the hell is Flip?!  
“So when does your husband get home?” Ivan hoe asks emphasizing the husband part.   
“Well he is usually home by now but he’s picking up take out. Tonight is our date night.”  
"Oh how nice.” Says Walter   
“Yes it is.” you fiddle with your own glass of water.   
“Did you boys want anything to eat while you wait?”  
“Yes,” says Ivanhoe looking real serious.   
“Okay..I have chips, cheese and crackers.”  
“Oooh cheese and crackers.” he chuckles again.   
“Ok, I'll be right back.”  
You make a cheese and meat plate with crackers on the side.   
You go back to the living room placing the platter on the coffee table. “Here you are.”  
“What the hell is that?” Ivanhoe asks  
“It's a cheese platter?”  
“A what?”  
“A cheese platter. Have you not seen one before?”  
“No no I've seen one. I just wa..”  
“That is so lovely thank you.” Walter interrupts again.   
“No problem.” You look at Walter with a smirk and sit back down. And wait so painstaking long for Flip to get home. 

It's about 6 when Flip arrives. He barges in saying apologies.   
"I'm sorry I'm late babe. There was such a line at Aunt Darlene's. I had to wait forever.” He places the brown bags of food on the kitchen table and turns to look for you.  
He lands on the sight of you on the love seat. Walter and Ivanhoe on the couch looking at him.   
“What the fuck are you two doing here. (yn) come here.” He motions for you to come over to him.   
“It is okay,” you say. Walking towards him and placing your hand on his chest to calm him down. He looks down at you,   
“No, it's not okay these men are dangerous.”  
“Yes they are and they are from the Klan.” You turn to look back at the two men sitting on your couch. They all now look at you surprised.   
“Ivan hoe don't look so surprised you were about to call me a nigger until Walter interrupted you.”   
Ivanhoe just chuckles and says, “yea I was.”  
"I’m going to the room. Phillip take care of this.” You use a stern tone. You called him Phillip so he knows you are pissed. And pissed is an understatement.   
He doesn’t protest he just watches you leave.   
“If you two laid a finger on her I will kill you with my bare hands.” Flip is in Walter's face in seconds.   
“We didn’t I swear.” Walter put his hand in the air.   
“How did you know where I live? Flip stand in the middle of the living room.   
“You told us,” Ivanhoe says.  
“I never told you where I live. You have been following me. Flip picks Walter up off the couch by his shirt.   
“Remember that night Felix found out that there was a nig…sorry cop named Ron Stallworth that lived in some apartments. You told us your address to prove that he and you were two different people.” Walter says in a frightened voice.   
Shit Flip thought, he had forgotten he told them. 

You stay in the room with the door open. You grabbed the .45 caliber that was in Flip’s nightstand. You stand in the bedroom doorway just in case you have to run out and use it. You have to protect your baby. 

“That still doesn’t explain why you are here.”   
“We’ve changed Phillip thanks to you.” Flip puts Walter down.   
“No, you have this one (pointing at Ivanhoe) has used the word nigger twice since he’s been in my home. That's not change.”   
“Well, he’s trying okay you know he’s delayed. “Walter pleads. “I stopped going to Klan meetings. I did some soul searching and Jews and Blacks aren’t the enemies.   
“The government is,” adds Ivanhoe. Walter just looks defeated.   
Flip can't believe what he is hearing. He paces the living room floor. 

You are holding your mouth so you don’t laugh-out-loud. The government, not black and Jews were the problem. This guy is a lost cause. 

"Hey, Ivanhoe go eat at the table. Let me and walker talk.”  
Flip seats Ivanhoe up at the kitchen table.   
Flip grabs a chair from the dining room and sits across from Walter.  
“How do I know you not lying. You know my wife and me now. The Klan could be coming here to retaliate against me.”   
“They won't. Many have left this town because of your little investigation. And I came to tell you I lied.”  
“About what?”   
“That a black man raped my sister.”  
“Same,” said Flip. Thinking back to that night at the Klan bar when they were all playing pool talking about how bad black people were. He gets disgusted with himself just thinking back to that time.   
“Well, you lied because you were playing a role. I was serious. No black man raped my sister I just didn’t understand and was upset about integration and that the times were changing too fast for me. So I joined the klan. Your wife is very beautiful by the way."  
“She has a nice ass,” Ivanhoe says.  
“Don't talk about my wife ever.” Flip stands ready to kill Ivanhoe. Walter gets off the couch and stands in between Flip and Ivanhoe.   
“He’s special come on man.”  
“Is that what you came here to tell me. That you are changed. You scared my wife and interrupted our lives just to tell me that bullshit.”  
It’s not bullshit okay. And I'm sorry I didn’t know you were married. I just wanted to thank you and that black cop. Because of you, I realized how stupid the whole Klann thing was. And I'm sorry for intruding and scaring your wife. She handled it very well and kept her cool.” Walter motions for Ivanhoe to get up.   
“Yes that cheese plater was really good.” chuckled Ivanhoe.   
“I’m glad to hear you’ve changed. But if you ever show up here again. I'll kill you. Get the fuck out of my house.” Flip opens the door for them to leave.   
“Understood let's go Ivanhoe.”  
“Bye Phillip and tell your wife…”  
Shut up Ivanhoe. Walter pushes him out of the house, “Sorry again.” Walter says as they walk to their pick up truck parked in front of the house. 

Flip walked them both outside and waited for them to be out of sight. He looked around the block to make sure nothing looked out of the ordinary. Once everything looked okay. He moved all the flower pots on your porch to make sure there weren’t any bombs or anything dangerous.  
Everything looked good. He walked back inside. His adrenaline was high. He runs to the bedroom and sees you sitting on the bed with his gun in your hands.   
he runs over to you and checks your face and hands and body.   
“Did they touch you?”  
“No, they were somewhat respectful.” You push his hands away. “Sit down Phillip.”  
“Okay.” he nods his head. He knows he is fucked. “Why did you let them in?"

“You know how white people sell things around here all the time. I didn’t think anything of it. But I do know one thing you better but this gun back in the everything drawer in the kitchen where it belongs. Because I could have used that when they were in the living room.” You push the gun into Flip’s chest.   
“Shit its was in my nightstand huh….I'm sorry babe.”  
“Flip you gave them our address. How fucking stupid are you?”  
“I know I know.” He grabs your hands in his.   
“We are going to have to move now. “  
“I know.” He looks down ashamed at the fact that he made a fucking rookie mistake.   
“Fuck Flip.” You move away from his hold and start pacing the room.  
“I know I know.”

“What if Aiden was here or Jackson anyone else in my family? What would have they done? What if we had a kid Flip? What then?” You start to cry because you know you're pregnant and what if you had a belly and they found out he had a black kid on the way. A mixed breed of the two of the Klans most hated races.   
“I’m sorry.” he stands and pulls you into his chest.   
You lean against his chest but you feel nauseous all of a sudden. You run into the bathroom and throw up. Flip follows and holds your hair.   
“Are you ok? is it form them?  
“Maybe it's just the virus. I need to lie down.” You lied again. Now is not the time to tell him.  
Flip walks you back to the bed and tucks you in. “You want your food?  
“No, I've lost my appetite.”  
"Ok ill be right back.”   
Flip doesn’t eat either. He puts the food away and locks the house up. He grabs his shotgun from the garage and brings it into the room.   
“Really Flip?” you see him load the gun.   
“I don't trust them, (yn).” He lies the gun against his nightstand and gets into bed with you. He sits against the headboard looking at the bedroom door. Afraid anything could happen.

“Ivanhoe is really special.” You laugh trying to lighten the mood. Lighten it as much as you can. You place a pillow along Flip's lap and lay on top of it. You know he will sleep like that all night on watch. Flip is so stiff you can tell he feels like he is back in NAM. But this time his enemy is the Klan. Flip didn’t respond to you he just looks at the bedrooms wall.   
“Walter is good looking.”  
“What the fuck did you just say? You knew that he would react to that. But honest Walter was a bad looking guy.   
“What? You look up at flip like you did not just call a Klan member attractive. “he wasn’t bad looking it sucks he’s an ex-klan member.”  
“Why would you get with him?  
“No I wouldn’t”, you smack. flips leg. “I'm just making observations that all.”  
“Okay well, I don’t want to talk about that anymore.”  
“Too bad. Cause you better spill it all. I need to know every single thing. Cause I just a let two klan members into this house not knowing. What if I passed one on the street and didn't even know? What if I’m in line at the deli and the butcher calls my last name and they are there too? They might come after me.”  
You sit up against the headboard how too. It's about to get serious. You look at Flip with your arms crossed. Giving him the glare of death.   
Flip takes a deep breath…”Okay, let me get you a wastebasket first cause you might get sick again.”

\---------------  
Flip tells you everything. From the FBI getting involved to the shooting in the woods of boards of running black people. To the klan ceremony, he participated in and the whole bomb plot. It was a lot to processes. 

“Wow Flip. It must suck to have your brain?”  
"What do you mean by that?  
“You have to live with these memories and images. It has to be triggering for you. First Nam and you never really processed that you just came home and went right back to work and now this.”  
He never thought about it like that. He looks away from you and stares at the wall. How do you know him so well? He doesn’t like reliving the past and his past experience has been very violent and sometimes it is triggering.   
“You couldn’t even imagine how much those two evens weigh on me.” Flip moves on the bed and puts his head on your stomach.   
You move closer to him and snuggle next to him.   
"Flip don’t ever do anything like that again."   
“I won't.” He wraps his arms around you. He’s holding you so tight it's like he’s holding on for dear life.   
“You have responsibilities ( ie the baby) and I need you here. Promise." You point your pinky finger in his face.  
“I promise.” He locks your pinky’s together and repeats “I promise.”  
“Make sure you don’t break it cause if you do we are over. “  
“I know… I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Told you it would get RealZ!


	20. Chapter 20

Last night's events have your head spinning. As if you weren’t already stressed about the baby and how to tell Flip, you have to move house now. You lay on your back and look up at the ceiling thinking Flips left arm is resting on your stomach if only he knew there was a life growing inside. You cant sleep you have way too much on your mind. You’re thinking about Flip and the klan. He didn’t leave any detail out last night and the whole thing has you on edge. He, Ron, and Patricia could have really lost their lives. Patricia would have been an unnecessary casualty. What would life have really been like if you were home then? Your home now and they show up at your door. You are very lucky to be alive and the fact that you put yourself in danger for answering the door is so bizarre to you. How could you be that stupid? How could Flip have been that stupid to give them his real home address? It’s all too much at once. You feel yourself getting sick again from all the anxiety and stress. You need to calm yourself down. You had stories you needed to edit for the paper since you’ve been sick Fred has been dropping them off at the house and picking them up when you’ve finished them. 

You carefully move Flip’s arm from around your waist and watch his reaction as you gently place his arm against the now empty space. He’s knocked out not reacting at all to lack of contact laying on his stomach. You grab the .45 just in case and walk to your office to work. The one thing that always helps you it's pouring your anger and frustration into your work. You check the clock it's 1 am you decide that you will work for an hour or two. You set yourself up on your desk and move the typewriter away from the center and search through the pile of stories to edit. 

Halfway through your second story, you take a break. There are only so many grammatical errors you can take from a fucking cooking columnist. I mean how can you get a recipe wrong? They manage to somehow. You look up from your desk and see all the paper clippings of stories you’ve written over the years. You know the perfect way to tell flip you're pregnant. 

You grab white card stock from your drawer, scissors, and glue. Then you walk across the room and grab an old Sunday paper and get to work. After thirty minutes of literal cutting and pasting, you think you are done. You check the clock and it's 3 am its best you get back to bed. You take your arts and craft project to the room to add one more addition to make it complete. 

Flip Point of View

I wake in a sweat I look to my left and see y/n sleeping on her side peacefully. I run my fingers through my hair and take a deep breath. Thank god she is okay. I don’t think I would have forgiven myself if anything happened to her last night. I was so fucking stupid to give out my real fucking address. The nerve of those two fuckers to show up anyways. I need to check in with her and make sure she is good.   
So, I roll over towards y/n and place a kiss on her bare shoulder. I pull her in closer to me so I'm the big spoon and her the little spoon. I wrap my arms around her and place my face in her neck and sniff in her cocoa butter smell. She hums and moves her body closer to mine. I” love you,” I whisper in her neck and start to leave kisses from her ear down to her shoulder. “Hmm” she rolls over so she’s facing me but her eyes are still closed she’s half asleep. She wraps her arms around me and hugs me placing her head against my chest. I could stay like this forever. In her warmth and love. This past month has been hard but amazing. She’s given me the opportunity to prove myself. I’ve learned to open up more and be honest. She’s the woman I always wanted but never knew I needed. I watch her fall back asleep and decide to join her. 

Flip wakes up from the bedroom phone ringing. 

Zimmerman residence   
“Hey, its Jimbo, where are you man?” You like hours late.   
Flip looks at the clock on his nightstand it 10 am he is late.   
“I can't come in today, we had an eventful night.”   
“I always knew you two were fucking rabbits man.”  
“It's not like that jimmy the Klan showed up last night.”   
“Fuck. Is y/n okay? I'm on my way.” Jimmy hangs up ending the conversation.   
Flip looks back over to you only to find you're still asleep. He has a feeling it's not just going to be Jimmy coming over. As he placed the phone back on the jack he sees red envelope on the nightstand with his name on it. 

He opens up the envelope to find a card. It has mix-match newspaper clippings that look like a ransom note. It reads, This Just In on the font. He opens it up and he sees a black and white photo of an egg-shaped thing, under that it says, We are expecting, you’re going to be a dad. 

He cant believe it. He starts to cry and looks down at the ultrasound photo. How could this be? You two hadn’t had sex recently just that one time. He looks deeper at the photo and sees yesterday's date. You had found out you were pregnant yesterday and didn’t tell him. Not like you got a chance really. Fuck what if something would have happened to you and the baby yesterday. He starts to feel even worse about the whole ordeal. That explains why you’ve been throwing up and so nauseous lately. He moves from the edge of the bed and crawls over to you. He starts peppering kisses all over your face. 

You squirm around trying to figure out what the hell Flip is doing waking you up. “Stop it, I’m trying to sleep.” Flip doesn’t pay you any mind and continues. He lifts you your shirt and kisses your stomach and that's when you realize he must of read the card. He places his hand gently on your belly, leaves and deep kiss there. “Hello, this is the voice of your dad. I can't wait to meet you.” He then places his ear on your stomach and lays there for a bit. He doesn’t say a word to you. You don’t need him too, you hold back tears of joy as you run your hands through Flip’s raven locks. The moment, however, is interrupted by the sound of sirens and a pounding at the door. 

Flip jump up, “its jimmy and the boys. I told them about last night.” You take a deep breath and move up to lay against the headboard.   
“Okay, give me a minute.”   
“Do you need help?”   
“I can manage just get the door, please. I don’t want to cause a neighborhood scene.”  
Flip moves to give you a brief kiss smiling from ear to ear before he leaves and answers the door. 

Bridges, Jimmy, Ron, and Trapp are waiting for him at the door. A few officers are in the back waiting on permission to do a search. Cop cars are lined all down your block. 

“Tell them to turn off their sirens, y/n does want the neighbors to complain.”  
Bridges look at the officer behind him and the officer runs to tell the other to turn off the lights and sirens.   
Flip moves out the doorway so the men can step in. 

Bridges tell the officers waiting outside to do a search around the primer of the house and ask neighbors if they’ve seen any suspicious activity.

“So what the hell happened”, asked Sergeant Trapp as he stands in the living room with the rest of the men.  
Flip looks down at his feet and rubs his neck. “ I came home after picking up dinner to find Walter and Ivanhoe sitting on my couch across from y/n.”

“Where is y/n is she safe, was she harmed?” Ron says looking around for you.

“I’m fine.” You say walking into the living room and the conversation. Still wearing your outfit from last night. You walk and stand right next to Flip he wraps his arm around you. 

“She was here with them for hours before I come home,” Flip says while looking down at you. His eyes are filled with guilt. Guilt that he wasn’t here to protect you and the baby now that he knows your pregnant. 

Why don’t you have a seat y/n and tell us everything? Bridges says as he pulls you away from Flip and toward the couch. 

“I don't want to sit there. I will stand. And tell you what happened.” You straight-edged your back and looked Bridges in the face while you stood your ground. You weren’t going to sit where those fuckers sat. You stood in the middle of the living room and told them about last night. You told them why you opened the door. What they ate and drank. How Ivanhoe almost called you a nigger. “When Flip came home, I went to the room.” 

“You did well.” Jimmy commends you.   
“Are you sure that's all that happened?” Asked Trapp.  
“Yes, that’s all that happened. Flip can tell you the rest.” You motioned towards Flip. “I’m going to make coffee.”

On your way to the kitchen, Flip stopped you and whispered, “Can you have coffee?”  
You looked up and gave him a look that said, are you serious right now?  
He took the hint and let you go. He turned his attention back to the men who were starting trying to figure what that interaction was about. 

While you make multiple brews of coffee for your guests. You can hear Flip telling them about his conversation with Ivanhoe and Walter. 

“How did they know where you lived?” Asked Ron.  
“I told them.”  
“Why would you something stupid like that? Yelled bridges.   
“I wasn’t thinking okay, it was the night they were suspicious of the fact that there were two Ron Stallworth's and one was black. So I told them my address to get them to believe that I was indeed not the black Ron Stallworth.”  
“You never thought we might need to know that you told them your real address?” Asked Trapp.  
“So much SHIT went down. I forgot. I know how fucked up this is and I know I fucked up.”  
There was a knock at the door interrupting this interrogation. Trapp opened the door.it was one of the officers searching the perimeter of your house. “We found no bombs, grenades, or any other type of explosive. Also, the neighbors said they haven’t seen anything odd.”  
“Good work return to the station. We will debrief there.”  
“Yes, sir.”  
You run to the door and get between Trapp and the officer. “Do you want coffee before you go I just made like three pots and I don’t want to throw it out?”

The officer looks at you and then at Trapp.   
“Come in and get the damn coffee and tell the others. Thank you.”   
You glare at Trapp and walk back to the kitchen to get the sugar and milk ready for the army of men that are about to walk in. 

The men look at Flip after your interaction with Trapp. Ron whispers, “Is she okay?”  
All the men stare at him because the obvious answer was no. 

“We will have to file a formal police report. You two will have to come to the station.” Bridges says to Flip looking pissed as hell. 

You grab as many mugs as you can find and start filling them up with black coffee. You place the milk and sugar on the kitchen table so the officers can grab a cup and then move the table to fix it to their liking. 

Jimmy comes into the kitchen. “Do you need any help?”  
“No, just tell the boys to come in grab a cup and then direct them to the kitchen table.”  
“Yes, Ma’am.”

The officers do as they are told. Thanking you as they each grab their cups. Some are very shocked to even be invited into Zimmerman's home. They know he is a very private dude.   
One officer comments that he didn’t even know Flip was married as he takes a cup from you. You don’t say a word you just smile and thank him for helping you two out. 

Once everyone has had a cup. They all leave and return to the station. Then there were seven. 

“Thank you for the coffee it was really nice.” Says Bridges.   
“Its the least I could do to say thank you.”  
“You didn’t pour yourself a cup.” Says Ron.   
“I guess I forgot. I was so busy cleaning and serving.” You laugh It's true you wanted coffee but forgot to save yourself some.  
“When can I expect you at the station for your formal report?” Bridges get right back to business.   
Flip looks to you, I didn’t know we had to do a formal report?  
“Yes, y/n this is serious and if they were to plan an attack we want to have a record that they have made contact with you before.”  
“I’ll be really in ten.”   
“Take your time no rush,” Trapp says while glaring at Bridges. As if to say give this woman some time.   
“No, it’s okay. I just have to freshen up, it won’t take long.” You leave the living room to go to the bedroom. 

Flip follows. “You can take a minute and rest. We don’t have to go now. He says in a pleading tone.”  
“Please do not use me as a crutch for your inevitable sit down with bridges. I can tell he is pissed and wants to get this over with as much as I do. “  
“That's not what I'm doing. I want you to take it to slow you know.” He looks down at your stomach.   
“I'm pregnant flip its not that major. I can handle this.”  
“But what if its too much stress for you and the baby.”  
“I think it’s a little too late for that. Now get ready. I want to be in and out so I can come home. Also, we need to move so think about that while you get ready.” You turn and walk into the bathroom to get ready. 

At the station, you and Flip have to give a statement on tape. After that Flip has a meeting with Bridges while you wait for him in the Intel room. You and Ron are playing Uno while you wait. 

“How long have you been married to Zimmerman?”  
“Hmmm….let me think. It’s the year 73 we met in 67 married in 69. Separated from 71 to 72. So that makes it technically four years.”  
“Wow, you have been together for a while! And you're younger than him?”  
“Yes, Ron and Uno.”  
“How are you so good at this game?”  
“I think it's because you're a bad shuffler. So I have you to thank.” You both laugh at your teasing.   
Flip walks into the room, interrupting your almost finished game. “Are you ready?”  
You turn to look at him, you can tell he got the ear full of a lifetime and is trying to keep his head up. “Yes, I am.” You turn back to Ron, “we will have to finish another time and next time I’m shuffling.” You hand him your cards, he stands and kisses you on the cheek a move that earns a glare from Flip. “Yes we will.” he waves you two goodbye. 

The car ride home is silent. You can tell Flip is filled with guilt both for putting you in danger and the case. 

Flip parks in the driveway and tells you to stay inside and lock the doors. He gets out and searches the perimeter of the house and then uses the spare key to search the inside of the house. While he does that you make sure you are watching your surroundings as you sit outside in the car by yourself. Not the safest place for you right now. 

Everything looks good. Flip comes back and you unlock the doors. You give him his car keys and he walks behind you into the house. 

“I’ll heat up last night's dinner.”  
“Wait you haven’t eaten today have you?”  
“No babe I haven’t,” and as if right on cue your stomach growls.  
“Is that the baby talking?” He runs up and puts his ear to your stomach. He can't be serious.   
“No flip, the baby is the size of an avocado.” Also, they don’t talk in the stomach at least I don’t think. “I’m just hungry.”  
“Oh.” he stands up. You can tell he feels a little dumb for asking that.   
He looked so cute when he thought the baby was talking like he needed that distraction. You pull Flip down by his flannel so he is your height now. You kiss him deeply on the lips. He starts to move his hands down your body but you pull away. You place your head on his chest, “Listen I want to continue this make-out session, but I’m starving and I’m exhausted. Can you make us last night dinner while I sit down and rest?”  
He smirks at you, “yes I will. “  
“Thank you,” you say into a sigh of relief. You have had a long day and mama needs to sit down. 

Once dinner is ready, he makes the plates and sits down next to you on the table.   
Halfway into dinner, Flip has to ask you this question that has been burning in his mind.   
“When did you find out you were pregnant?” He seems so nervous he’s avoiding eye contact with you and he’s shaking his leg against the table.   
“Yesterday, I went to see Dr. Bashkar.”   
“You told me you were seeing your PCP. He is getting pissed, he raised his voice at you.  
“I know, I lied.”  
“Why would you lie about that?”  
“Because I was scared. Okay”… you look away from him and stare at the ceiling. “Yesterday morning when you asked me to go to the doctor I decided that I would see Bashkar because I like her better and I wanted to get on birth control and if I told you where I was going…I just didn’t want you getting any ideas.”  
“Why did you want birth control? Do you not want this baby?” He looks at you now, with concern that you don’t want a kid with him.  
“I wanted birth control so we could start having sex again without risk of pregnancy …..And to answer your question... I do want this baby.” You bit your lip and look down at your plate. You can’t face him it's too embarrassing to admit that you wanted to give it up now after holding out this whole time. You finally look up to see him smirking at you as if he knew you would cave in and baby also because you want this baby with him.   
“We only had sex once since you’ve been back, so how could you have gotten pregnant so soon?”  
“I’ve been home for two months and I’m four weeks pregnant. I haven’t used birth control since I left so when we had sex with no protection that ONE TIME… you get it.” You can feel your cheeks become hot, you don’t know why but talking about sex with Flip is like so weird. It's like your a teenager again and he’s your first boyfriend. Ugh, it feels so weird.   
"Ok…can we tell people?

"No, not yet. Not until after the first trimester. We can tell my sister and Jimmy but that's it. After the first trimester, we can tell whoever we want."  
"What is a trimester?"He’s looking at you like you're talking a different language.  
F"lip are you serious?" He doesn’t respond he just looks as you puzzled. Okay lord help you, you can not raise this baby alone. He must be educated. “So, pregnancy is 40 weeks long. That time is divided into three trimesters that 12 to 14 weeks or three months at a time. Each trimester is a different stage in development for the baby and different hormones for me. Got it.”  
“Ok so three trimesters your four weeks pregnant. That means your in the first and after eight more weeks we can tell people. I still don’t get why we have to wait.”  
“Well since this is the beginning of my pregnancy and my first pregnancy. I want to make sure nothing goes wrong before we tell people.”  
“Like a miscarriage.”   
“Yes like a miscarriage. My sister had one her first pregnancy and so did my mother. I want to wait it out.”   
Flip takes your hand and kisses it. “We don’t have to tell anyone ever.” He's trying to keep your thoughts positive. You smile cause he is being so cute right now.   
You laugh, “I like that way better if only I could hide my growing belly.”  
“I've got so many flannels you can borrow they already look like a long dress on you.”  
You laugh because his flannels do look so big on you, “I just might take you up on that offer, Mr. Zimmerman.” You kiss the back of his hand that holds yours. When you look back up at him. He has this look of desire.   
“Are you serious about us having sex again? Can you have sex when you’re pregnant? Will I have to wait for a whole fucking 9months? "  
You give him this look of disbelief. Really all he got from this conversation was that you wanted to have sex again. You roll your eyes at him in frustration. So typical of him only to hear what he wants to hear  
“I mean… I will wait that long if I have to. I’m just curious please don’t give me attitude. I'm just curious. I don’t know about these things.” He has his arms stretched out as if to plead with you.   
“ People have sex when they are pregnant. Now what the feels like I don’t know. But what I do know is that we have to move house and we need to get rid of the couches. I can't sit there anymore and these wood kitchen chairs are not going to cut it, so why don’t we focus on that first and then we'll see if you can get back into the cookie jar. That sounds fair, right?”  
Flip is speechless, yep there are more pressing matters than sex, but you do want to have sex so that gives him hope. He better finds a new house soon. “That is fair let's shake on it.”

“Flip I'm not making a deal with you about this. This shit is serious. I'm going to find us a house the weekend. You get rid of those fucking couches. I can't with you right now.” You are so over this dinner, you get up to leave. He knows not to come after you. 

Flip looks at the couch from the kitchen table, technically that is where your baby consummation started but he gets why he has to get rid of it. He honestly thought you were making a deal. Like he had to do these things and then he would get some. To be fair that exactly what that sounded like.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to google for helping me with these pregnancy facts. Cause a witch ain't never been pregnant okay.


	21. New Beginnings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates my be late. I work full time and go to school so homegirl is busy. Hope you understand. Thanks for reading and feel free to leave feedback.

You loved the ranch-style house you and Flip made into a home, but now it reminds you of all the bad times in your marriage. You look to the driveway where Flips car is parked with your car on a trailer. That the spot where you and Flip had that explosive fight after you found out he cheated. Then that fucking black couch the stupid ex-klan members sat, that is now sitting on the sidewalk with a free sign on it. Flip had bought this house after he had proposed to you it was your wedding gift he said. It was the perfect start to your new life together with a fresh start. You can't help but feel a sense of loss as you view the house from the sidewalk. Today is moving day; you found a four-bedroom two-story suburban garrison style home. You never cared for two stories, which is why your one level ranch style home worked the best.

With this baby on the way, it was time for a change. It took you a few months of house hunting to find the right home. About a month ago, you were driving through your sister's neighborhood and saw this beautiful red brick two-story home with an adorable forest green door with a for sale sign out front you knew this was the one. There were two big oak trees in the front, and it has a stone walkway that led from the sidewalk to the porch. Also, its two blocks down from your sisters, and you need all the support you can get as a first-time mom. That day you viewed it with your sister (of course) and then Flip the next day, and you made an offer. 

"Hey, HotMama, are you ready?" Flip is wearing a white t-shirt with his classic Wagner jeans and some Nike sneaks. Sweat dripping from his jet black hair sticking to his face. He runs his fingers through his hair as he approaches you. He kisses you and places his palm on your now showing belly. 

"Uhmm," you moan and pull him into an embrace. "I am, but I'm not. We have so many memories here good and bad, you know?" Flip positions you so your head is on his chest facing the house. He doesn't respond for a while. He just holds you as you both take in the last time you'll see your home. "When I saw this house, I thought it would be the house that we would grow old together. But when you showed me the new house, I could see our kid running around the halls and the backyard. I could see them growing up and building memories there. We are still us, but we can be us in a new place and build new memories."

You look up at him with teary eyes. You were never much of a crier, but ever since pregnancy, you cry over everything these damn hormones. "Why do you have all the right words? I'm the writer. It's supposed to be me." You laugh/cry into his chest.   
"It's because I'm the best part of you." He places his hand on your cheeks wiping your tears. He leans down to give you a deep kiss. You moan into the kiss. Side note pregnancy has also made you hornier than before its a thing. You pull back and look at the house one more time, "You won't hold that spot for long. You've got some competition on the way." Flip places a sweet kiss to your forehead, "I know I cant wait," he lightly pats your but, "It's time to go mama." You nod your head and make your way to the Flip's truck. You look at the house one more time before getting in; you're ready to start a new chapter in your life and leave the old behind. 

*******

Your daughter Nova was born in December 28th, 1973 she weighed 6lb 4 ounces and was 17in. You had an at-home water birth all naturalll honey. It was the hardest thing you have ever done, but it was so rewarding. There were many times during your contractions you would squeeze Flip's hand and pleading for some kind of relief. "Come on; you've got this, just breath." That was his mantra for you and boy did it work. Your daughter came out with a head full of hair just like her father's deep black curly coils that frame her face perfectly. Her skin is a soft olive bronze, and (yec) she's the brightest star you've ever seen. She is currently latched onto your breast as you breastfeed her in the bed with Flip. It's a bitterly cold January morning; the sun is just rising at this ungodly early feeding hours, and you have no plans to leave this bed though you know Nova will force you to sooner or later. The heater is on and you are all bundled up together. You want to cherish these mornings cause you know its only temporary. She is bound to grow, but you don't want to think too far ahead. 

Flip is lying on his side, admiring you as you feed your baby. He has an obsession with watching you breastfeed. At first, you thought he was a freaking perv. But your sister confirmed that Jackson had this obsession too, he saw it as the most natural and caring thing a woman could do for her baby. 

"Flip, why do you stare so intensely as a breastfeed?"   
"I just think it's so beautiful. My too main girls bonding and you proving food to our child. I don't know….do you think it's weird?"  
"It makes me uncomfortable sometimes."  
"Why, though?"  
"I don't know..it's just before my boobs were just another one of my assets. "You wink at him. "But now its food for my baby I don't find them sexy any more and when you watch me I think about them being sexy and I get in my head…"  
Nova makes this sucking sound letting you know she's done for now. Your glad she interrupted the very awkward conversation. You unlatch her from your left breast (her favorite) pull your nightgown strap up, and grab a burping cloth.  
"Let me burp her." Flip asks, holding his hands out as he is now resting his back on the bed headboard. You place the cloth on his bare right shoulder and transfer the baby. He is making sure to protect her bobbing head. You watch as his large hands support her tiny, fragile head. This strong lumberjack of a man with this petite baby on his shoulder is a site to see. You can't help but smile at the beauty of your little family.   
"Just so you know, your boobs are even more appetizing now than before."  
He ruined a perfect moment. You roll your eyes, "oh my god Flip! You whisper, not in front of the baby." You pull the sheets over your chest and lay on your side, still watching him burp the baby. He winks at you and smirks with this brightness in his eyes.   
After a few minutes, you begin to doze off; you tried to stay up to help Flip burp the baby, but you are so exhausted. 

About five minutes have passed. The baby has burped and regurgitated a little milk. He cleans Nova's face off with the cloth and begins to rock her to sleep. He swaddles her in his arms so he can watch over her as sleep begins to take her. Flip feels so new to these dad duties but he wants to be there for you and her as much as possible. He looks over to see you all cuddled up in the blankets sound asleep. He then looks down at Nova she's half-awake staring up at him, cooing at him as she holds his index finger for dear life. She has your eyes and nose thank god she didn't inherit his. She did, however, inherit his hair. Nova has finally drifted back to sleep; all she does is eat, sleep, and shit. Flip checks her diaper before putting her in the wicker bassinet next to the bed. With the baby changed and sleep. Flip checks her one more time giving her a kiss goodnight before slipping under the covers next to you. 

Once back under the warm covers, Flip pulls you to him, so your head is lying on his chest you mummer words he cant make out. You bury your face into his chest as you get comfortable to exhausted to care about your change in position. He begins to rub circles across your exposed shoulder. He ponders over the new life he has. You're a mom, and he's a dad the two things he never thought the two fo you would be, but Nova in her few weeks of living is already the perfect mix of the two of you. Shit, if someone would have told Flip a year ago that his wife would come back and just a few months after that they would have a kid he would have said they were crazy. He looks down at your hair in a scarf, skin smooth like cocoa butter, beauty just so flawless he has to pinch himself sometimes it doesn't seem real. He had lost hope back then. He never thought you two would ever reconcile. He had caused too much pain and had beat himself up for it every day. He's not thinking in the past now he has a future you and Nova his best girls. Flip begins to feel sleep calling for him, he can rest well dreaming about his two beautiful girls. 

******

You are awakened by a screaming baby. You don't even have to time to register that you have been sleeping on Flip's chest; you crawl down the bed to get to the bassinet. Flip begins to get up to beat you too it  
"I got it; she's hungry anyway," you have begun to differentiate between cry's knowing what each one meant.  
"Oh, someone is hungry, huh I've got bad news mommies all out of milk." You throw your hands up like you've got nothing for her. You wait for her reaction; the crying has stopped, and she's just staring at you like are you going to do something or what.   
"I'm just kidding. I've got milk. That's all I'm good for now. I'm just your feeding cow right.' Nova thinks that's funny. She smiles big and stretches her arms.   
"You're not a cow. "Flip interjects from the bed. He knows you've been a little insecure lately since your body has changed.   
"I know Flip," you pass him an insecure smile. "I'm just joking with the baby." You turn your attention back to Nova.  
"Aww, there's the smile I was waiting for." You take her out of the bassinet and walk her to the nursery that next to the master. 

The nursery is your favorite place in the whole house. It's your sacred bonding place with Nova. The walls are painted grey with yellow, sunflowers painted on the wall that supports the crib just to the left of the doorway. The crib is white, like most of the furniture in this room. The changing table is opposite the crib; the dresser is adjacent to the changing table with different flowers drawn on each drawer. A day bed is right against the far back wall right under the window. You sit on the day bed and breastfeed your daughter. You love this bed; there a million pillows there to support your back while you feed. It's also nice to sleep on when you don't want to leave her in the room alone. It's funny to watch Flip get comfortable on the bed. Its a twin and he's way too large for it. Hell usually sit up on the bed while you rest your head on his lap there is no way he can lay down he's tried, and each time, he throws his back out. She latches on so natural to you. Breastfeeding was scarier to you, then giving birth. You thought of all the negative things like what if you can't produce milk, what if your breasts are too small/big, what if it hurts and you cant continue cause the pain is so bad. But it all worked out, in the end, it's like your body knew what to do and so did Nova. Your thoughts are interrupted by a knock on the door. 

"Good morning Ladies", Flip walks over to you and kisses you. He has dressed up in his normal garb a green flannel this time with jeans he's about to leave for work. He waits to kiss Nova; instead, he grabs on to her little finger she instinctively grabs on he sits beside you on the bed. You rest you back on his shoulder and scoot closer so you can enjoy this morning a little longer. 

"I can call out sick I don't have to go in today."  
"Flip, you've been doing that all week."  
"So what's another day." He groans into your shoulder. He avoids work at all costs now that Nova's around his overprotectiveness has reached an uptime high. It's both endearing and annoying.   
"I can take care of the two of us. It might do us some good to have some girl time. Right Nova?" She's done feeding and looks at the two of you smiling. "See, she want some girl time."  
"That's not what that smile meant."   
You position her on your shoulder as you begin to burp her.   
"And what did it mean Mr. baby whisperer?"  
"It meant that she wants both you and me in the house today. That what it meant." He leans back and looks at Nova, "right baby girl?"  
She then burps and of course, throws up a little. Flip uses the cloth you have on your shoulder to clean her. "see she said yes."  
You move over to the changing table and get ready to change her.   
"Flip, you can't avoid work forever. Go to work at least for a half-day."  
"How about I go to work grab the paperwork I need to complete and then bring it home. I can work from home like you do." He's leaning against the wall, watching you change her and trying to look convincing.  
"I don't like that idea. You either give us all your attention or none. If your home preoccupied with her, you won't get any work done or vice versa."  
You change her and place her in her crib. Flip doesn't follow. He's still against the wall trying to come up with another excuse. Once the baby is down and dozing off again. You walk over to flip.   
"Listen, I know you want to spend as much time with her as possible I do too. But I can bring my work home, I do most of my editing during feedings and nap time. But you're a cop babe your job is different. Go to work do your job and come home. Well, be waiting; we aren't going anywhere, okay". You wrap your arms around his waist, pulling him into a hug. You both stay like that for a while. 

"Okay, okay, I'll go to work."   
"Good, now just give me five minutes to shower before you go."  
he looks down at you and kisses you. Not letting go just yet. "I love you so much; you know that, right?"  
You look away from him, "yes, I do, I love you too." Flip moves your face so you are looking at him. He doesn't say anything; he just smiles at you, you look you and see how the sleepless nights have given him bags under his eye, and his freckles are so prominent in this morning sun beaming from the nursery window. This is your husband, the strong, sexy cop.  
You can feel your cheeks blushing, and Flip is wearing the biggest smirk. He knows exactly what he is doing to you the sad part is that it works every time.   
"I've.. ugh gotta go take that..uhm.. shower." You pull away from him, biting your lip.   
"Right.."  
Watch the baby. You point to the crib, lingering for a little bit in the doorway, looking at the crib before you walk back to the master.  
"Yep," flip watches as your hips sway in that nightgown. Giving him thoughts that would make you blush more than the moment you too just shared. He knows it soon, but he wants to put another baby in you.

***


	22. Chapter 22

You love the days when it's just you and Nova in the house. Flip is a big help with her, but you can't help but want her for yourself. In the shower, you begin to imagine all the things you girls can do while daddy is away. She gives you a whole new purpose. Balancing your new role as a mom and a wife has been hard. Flip has needs-Nova has needs, and you sometimes forget about your own needs, and you are so exhausted you feel like you can't even function sometimes. It's only been a few months, but you can feel the old you slipping. It's been months since you've had a drink and months since you've gotten laid. Maybe a night out would do you some good. You make your shower quick cause you know Flip is waiting on you. 

With your body lotion, you put on a hair scarf and some sweatpants and make your way back to the nursery. 

Flip has made himself comfortable on the floor body facing the crib snoring. 

You kick his feet, and he jolts awake.   
"What, what is it?" He rolls over completely unbothered.  
"It's time for you to go to work."  
"I mean..I don't have to. You know I can stay." He says he stands and meets you at the edge of the crib, pulling you close by your waistband.   
"Listen...Detective..I think we should go out tonight." You grab his hands from your waist and place them on your hips.   
"You do?" He smirks down at you. Sometimes you wish you were taller, so he didn't make you feel so small.   
"Yes, I need an outing, or I'm going to go insane." You hit your head on his chest to emphasize your madness. "I'm getting cabin fever."  
"I'd love to take you out, but who is going to watch Nova?"  
"My sister, of course."  
"Have you asked her?"  
"No..I haven't." You take a deep breath; your head is still resting on Flip's chest. You gather your thoughts because you just want one night where maybe you don't have to worry about Nova. Does that make you a bad mom? You look at FlipFlip,   
"Listen, we don't have to be out all night, just dinner. Let me worry about the baby sitter while you go to work and think about where you're taking me?"  
Flip can see the annoyance in your face. He better give you this; he can tell you need it and fuck who was he kidding he needed it too.   
"You got it, Mama."  
"Thank you. Now I packed your lunch last night so it should still be in the fridge. And I hope you have a great day at work." You step on your tippy-toes to peck him.   
"I will, and thanks for packing my lunch. Lock up behind me." He smacks you on the butt and begins to leave. You check on the baby in the crib, and she's knocked out. You follow FlipFlip down the stairs to the front door. He already has his lunch in hand, waiting on you before he opens the front door. You run to meet him. 

"Now, you girls don't have to fun without me, and I'll call you later to let you know where we're going."  
You can't wait to get dressed up and hit the town. "I'll be waiting."  
Flip sees the way your face beamed at the thought of going out. He has to find the right joint to take you. "Love you", he kisses your cheek and opens the door.   
"I know.." He smiles and turns to leave. You watch him leave and lock the house once you see he's pick up fade away down the street. Now with the baby sleep, you can take a cat nap too. 

****

It's now three in the afternoon you and Nova have a day from hell. She has just been crying and doesn't want anything you are offering. She's finally grown tired had has fallen asleep. And you work while she naps. Your dining room table has become your new office. Your typewriter and news articles cluttered the table while Nova's bassinet resided in the living room.   
Flip hasn't called yet to give you the dets on date night, so you decide its time to call your sister. 

Aiden answers, 

"Hello, this is the YSLN residence."  
"Hi, Aiden, it's you, favorite aunty; how are you?"  
"Aunty y/n I had such a good day at school, I learned about the circle of life, and the water cycle and……" Aiden went on for what felt like hours. Until you heard your sister in the background. "Who are you talking to boy?"  
"Aunty y/n..And then I"  
You hear the phone go silent then, "go do your homework. I'm not playing with you, little boy." "Hello."  
"Hi, how are you?"  
"I'm doing alright, just trying to figure out this new phase Aiden is going through. He's avoiding homework at all costs. I miss my kindergarten kid. This first grader is no joke, man."  
You both laugh  
"Now, how are you holding up, new mom?"  
No one has asked you that yet, and you feel tears coming, and you just start to cry.  
"What's wrong, do you need me to come over? What did FlipFlip do cause if he did something, I'm a."  
"No ..he didn't.. do anything relax."  
"Oh okay I knew he wouldn't, I was just saying." You decide to ignore her and move on.   
"I'm so overwhelmed I work I take care of her and him. I'm just so exhausted I mean I love it but its too much."  
"Well, that's because you haven't taken anyone's help. First you need to take break from work you haven't done that at all. That baby come out and you were in the hospital bed working. Second, you need to ask your people for help; Sharon, Rhonda, and, most importantly, me are here to use. okay."  
"Okay.." you sniffle and look over to the baby to make sure you didn't wake her.   
"Remember when Aiden was born, and I would let anyone help me. Then one day, I showed up at your job looking a hot mess crying with a screaming baby in my arms." You both laugh as you reminisce.   
"Yes, I do."  
"Well, don't get there. As for help first like I should've."  
"Okay well, I need help."  
"What do you need?"

Your sister agreed to come over and watch Nova for the night she said she would come around 7. Jackson would watch Aiden because she felt the baby was still too young to be around any other kids.

You are still waiting on a call from FlipFlip though  
****

Flip hasn't gotten any work done. His desk is filled with nothing but paperwork. Ever since that fiasco with the Klan showing up at your house, he's been on desk duty. Too long of punishment in his opinion but you prefer it over fieldwork. 

Flip isn't a pack smoker, but he's already finished one pack today; you prefer he smoke at work than at home with the baby, so maybe his overcompensating.   
Ron and Jimmy enter the Intel office, just coming back from a stakeout.  
"Look who decided to show up to work today."  
"You know we didn't know if you would come back to busy building a nest."  
"Funny…guys very funny."  
Jimmy and Ron make their way over to Flip's desk. "Have you eaten yet?" Ask Ron.   
"No, I haven't even thought about lunch."  
"Well, let's go out," says Jimmy.  
"No y/n made me something." Flip straightens himself in his chair.  
"Enough for everyone?" asked Ron  
"What do you think?" Flip raised his eyebrow looking at Ron. Like he should know the answer to his question.  
"Okay let's eat." Said jimmy.  
The three make their way to the break room, kicking out whatever officers were in there. 

"So hows Nova and Y/n." Ask jimmy.  
He sits at the middle table in the break room. While FlipFlip heats up the food.  
Ron grabs the plates.  
"They're good says." flip with a smile.  
"Nova is keeping you up all night, huh," says Ron.  
"Yeah, but I don't mind."  
"You might not mind, but I bet y/n does," says Jimmy.  
"At first, I didn't think it did. But..never-mind." Flip bring the warm food to the table, joining Ron and Jimmy.  
They each make their plates. You made meatloaf for dinner last night and packed flip enough food to feed the whole intel department.  
The three don't say a word as they each devour their plates.   
"Well, what are you going to do about your wife Flip?" Asks jimmy  
"What do you mean, nothing wrong with y/n she's fine." Flip looks at Jimmy, giving him a questioning look.  
"Is she?"  
"Do you two know something i don't?"  
Ron looks at Jimmy like should we tell him.   
"What the fuck is she not telling me?" Flip is now getting defensive and is raising his voice.  
"Simmer down Zimmer..alright..nothing is wrong. It's just she hasn't really spoken to Rhonda or Sharon, and the ladies were just concerned, so we are concerned too."  
"Oh..well she's a new mom.. she's just busy." Flip dismisses your behavior.   
"Yes, but maybe too busy." Says Ron.  
"Maybe she works too much." Adds Jimmy.  
"Are you two telling me that my wife can't work and have a baby. You know y/n her career comes first no matter what. And I don't mind that. what are you two some fucking conservatives?" They don't know you like he does; he is starting to get annoyed.   
"no listen..jimmy begins to speak..before Rhonda, and I lost our baby. She worked and cared for him too. Everyday and overnight she was juggling three full-time jobs. Being a mom and being a jewelry maker.. and a cops wife…then when Kyle got sick..she took time off work..jimmy starts to choke up. When we lost Kyle, she felt guilty that she didn't take the time when she had it. Now I'm not saying that will happen to you and y/n but let her know its okay to sit back and relax. Enjoy the moment while she can. They grow up too fast." Jimmy starts to daze off. 

Both FlipFlip and Ron are shocked by his openness FlipFlip had no idea, and he's been partners with jimmy for years. 

Jimmy clears his throat, "Well, that's enough storytime for me. I'm a go smoke."  
Ron waits for Jimmy to leave before he speaks up again, "Listen, my mom went a little crazy after she had my youngest brother, maybe just check in with y/n we all love her. And tell her to thank you for lunch." Ron pats his partner on the back and leaves him alone.

Flip runs his finger through his hair and leans back into his chair, maybe a night out, and a long talk would help him to understand how he can help you. He felt like being there physically to help with the baby was enough, but it could never have occurred that you would need more than that. He also feels guilty cause he's been so fucking horny he hasn't even considered you might need a break from him too.

******  
Flip finally rings around five the time he should be coming home. 

"Zimmerman residence."  
He hears the baby crying in the back  
"Oh shit, did I wake her?"  
"No, she's just fussy today. You working late?"  
"Nope, I just wanted to check-in."   
"Well, we're fine. I'm getting ready to make dinner when will you be home?"  
"Don't make dinner. I'm taking you out. Can you be ready in an hour?"  
"Not likely with this fuzzy baby. Are you coming home in an hour?"  
Shit, that was Flips plan, but maybe hell leave now so he can watch the baby while you get dressed.   
"Uhm, no, I'm on my way home now, and then I'll wait for you to get ready and watch the baby."  
"Thank god. you sigh. "I'm running out of things to make her stop crying. See you; I have to go." The crying increased, so you just hung upon him.  
Flip packs his smokes and gets ready to head home.

*******  
When FlipFlip walks in the house, he finds you lying face down on the couch and the baby is lying on a mat on the floor. You have a rattle in your hand, playing keep away, and the baby giggles and wiggling. You don't even look you up when you hear him come in. 

"I'm home"..he announces  
"Did you hear that daddy came to rescue me?" Nova just giggles; you don't know why your misery is humorous to her.   
Flip goes along with it. "Yes, I came to rescue my princess from the bad dragon named nova." He lays down on the floor next to Nova, and you can smell the cigarette smoke on him.   
You sit upon the couch. "Flip you smell like smoke..please take a shower and then you can play with the baby."  
Flip smells his flannel and starts to apologize…" I'm sorry I forgot I just wanted to help I know you had a rough day." He stands up.  
"Don't apologize, I appreciate it and you. But I'll appreciate you more after your shower."  
You smile at him; your face is written with exhaustion; maybe a night out would be too much for you. Flip doesn't know what to do.  
"Okay I'll make it quick." He'll have to come up with something fast cause his plans for tonight aren't going to work. 

Nova begins to cry as she watched her dad leave without saying hi to her.   
You think she's hungry, so you begin to feed her while you wait for your knight in green flannel.   
Flip's shower is super quick and comes running down the stairs in his he's infamous grey sweatsuit.  
You're still on the couch with Nova, who is still fussing. She's too young to be teething, you think.

"Has she been doing this all day?" He picks her up from the couch and kisses you on the forehead as he sits next to you.  
"Yes, all day." You grab a pillow from the couch and snuggle into it, just completely over the events of today.  
As soon as FlipFlip holds Nova she stops crying.   
"Is she changed?"  
"Yep, fresh diaper."  
"Okay I'm going to put her to bed."   
He says to you, and when you don't respond, he looks over to see you fast asleep.  
Yep, plans for tonight are canceled. He takes Nova upstairs to the nursery rocks her to sleep in the rocking chair. Within ten minutes, she is sound asleep. He puts her in the crib and rubs her chunky cheeks before leaving to check on you.

As he makes his way to you, the doorbell rings. Fuck. He looks at you, and you don't move; you must be sleep, and the baby didn't cry, so he's in the clear. Who could it be, though?  
Its ysn.

"Good evening Zimmerman." She says will judgmental eyes.  
"Hi, ysn." She always makes him nervous,  
"Where's my sister"..now that she says loud. Flip tries to hush her, but you're starting to wake up.  
"I'm here." you mumble into the couch pillow waving your hand in the air.  
"And the baby?"  
"In the nursery," FlipFlip says.  
"Oh honey," your sister runs to you and checks your forehead for some reason. "Oh good, no fever are your sick?"  
"You sit up, swatting her hand away. No, I'm not sick.. just exhausted.. I feel like my face is going to fall off." You put your face in your hands.   
"That's a new one. Oh, you have blood on your shirt." She points to your right boob.   
You look down there is are spot right on your right nipple. "oh yeah I forgot she was sicking on my boob so hard it began to bleed. Flip can you grab the ice pack from the freezer?"  
Until that moment, FlipFlip had been standing in the foyer like a lost puppy. He was taking in everything you've been doing/saying. Why hadn't he noticed the blood?  
"Don't you need a bandaid?" Flip says as he hands you the ice pack.  
You smile up at him, and your sister starts laughing hysterically.  
"A bandaid on a nipple? You know their round right and that they get hard…"  
"Ysn.. that's enough. No a bandaid won't work babe, thanks for the ice pack." You place it on your chest, and you lay flat on the couch again.   
Your sister starts massaging your feet as you lay down.  
"Oh my god, thank you. Are my feet swollen?"  
"Yes, they are".  
"I don't know why though" .you throw your head back on the couch cushion and begin to cry.  
Flip tries to console you, but your sister stops him.  
She mouths to him so you couldn't hear.. "Go take care of the baby. I got this."  
He stares her down, but she gives him a look like a boy if you don't.  
He knows that look too well. He walks upstairs, but before he gets all the way up the stairs, he looks back at you to see you've put the pillow on your face to muffle the cries. Was it that bad? How come he never noticed?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the love. With the Rona out there I wanted to give my readers something to read. Please stay safe and wash your hands.


	23. Chapter 23

You laid on the couch with your sister in since few sniffles coming from you every now and again. Then you heard the baby crying. You sit up ready to be mama a bear again until your sister pulls you back down to the ground. 

"Listen, you need to take a break. I'll go help, Flip." She smiles at you and walks upstairs to the nursery.   
Shit, you forgot about Flip, you check the time on your watch its nine pm well there goes date night. You felt so dramatic, the whole crying bit with your sister was just too much. You can do this on your own. Right.   
"She's hungry, do you feel like feeding or should I make a bottle." Your sister says as she walks down the stairs towards the living room.  
"I don't think we have any formula, I'm fine to bring her here." Your right boob is still sore, and you haven't cleaned off the blood. So your left will have to do. Your sister transfers Nova to you and you out Nova in position for feeding.  
"What did you mean when you said you don't think you have any formula?" Your sister sits beside you, watching you feed.   
"I meant we don't have any formula. I always breastfeed her."  
"No wonder why your boobs are bleeding. You know you can give yourself a break and use formula in between feeds right." She starts rubbing your back.  
"I didn't want her to be on formula. But it's getting harder to keep this up, I will admit."   
"Listen, I know you love Nova, and you want to be the best mom to her, but there is no one perfect way to be a mom. If you don't breastfeed her, she won't die, and you'd still be her mom. Know I've spoken to Zimmerman, and I think you need a break away from home. So after your done feeding her go upstairs and pack a bag. I'm your nanny for the weekend."  
"Uhm….what?"

FPV  
Flip has been laying on the floor next to Nova's bed since he was forced out of the living room. He's thinking about the night he had planned for the two of you. A movie night and dinner. Something simple and a movie would give you both a chance to escape your reality. It's clear you not up to a date night. Today alone with Nova must have been really hard. Flip hasn't seen you cry since you gave birth to her. He knew he should've stayed home from work today. He wonders what you and your sister are talking about. He didn't even know nipples could bleed, and how could Nova do that she doesn't have teeth yet. He's so confused. He won't figure it out by himself anyway. So he tries to fall asleep.

Nova starts crying; this wakes Flip.   
"Is someone hungry?" he says as he gets up and looks as his brown skin girl just wailing in her crib. "Or do you need a change?" He picks her up and begins to change her wet diaper.

Your sister appears in the doorway  
"Is she hungry?"  
Flip looks up form the changing table, "yes, she is."  
"Do you guys have formula?"  
"No y/n doesn't use that. Is she feeling better?" Flips changed her diaper and gives her a pacifier to stop her crying.  
"Flip( she rarely calls him Flip) I think she might be going through postpartum depression."   
Flip looks worried; he knows what depression is but whats postpartum. "Is that serious, what is it? I mean, how does that affect her?" He's pacing the room now, holding on to the baby a little tighter than before.   
"It's not fatal. Well its a sadness that some moms feel after giving birth. It manifest different in every woman. I think for y/n she wants to be the perfect woman. She wants to be a wife, an editor, and a mom. She wants it all and she can have it. She just need to give herself some time to figure how she can manage it all. And trying to do all at once is taking a toll. Have you noticed anything different about your wife?"  
Flip rocks nova in his arms and he thinks you were tired; your humor seems very self-deprecating, which is not like you. You want to take all the responsibilities leaving Flip with few. Maybe you want to be perfect is driving you mad.   
"She is very controlling when it comes to Nova. She doesn't like to share the work. Her humor is dark now and she looks very tired. Which is understandable we have a three month old. She doesn't share with me how she's feeling; she just goes like she's on autopilot."  
"What do you want to do for her to make her feel better?"  
"I think she needs to realize she's more than a wife or a mom. I think she needs something to make her feel like her."  
"Not too shabby for a white boy. Let me hold my niece."  
"I don't like it when you say that." Flip transfers the baby to ysn.  
"I don't care. Hi, baby, it's your aunty." Nova smiles almost loosing her pacifier but your sister catches it before it hits the ground. "What will make y/n feel like her self again?"  
"In my heart, I feel like she needs time away from it all, but Nova is her life now. I don't think she can do it." Flip starts to pace the room he rubs his hand on the back of his neck. This whole postpartum thing is making him nervous. Your always the one who knows everything and take care of everything. He's going to need to step up.   
"Do what you feel is right. I'll stay here and watch the baby. All I ask is that you buy three cans of formula for the weekend before you two leave."  
"You want us to leave the house."  
"Yes, isn't that what you said that you wanted to take her away."  
"Well…yes..but can we do that?" Flip is starting at your sister with a serious look.   
Boy, were you, two clueless first parents.   
"Yes, you can, I won't kill the baby, and she won't die with you two gone. Just stay in a hotel for the weekend and come back feeling renewed and refreshed." She winks at Flip.   
She's never been this playful with him; he's feeling very uncomfortable.   
"Now go get the formula I'll talk to your wife. Nova lets go get some food from your mom, and then it's just you and me girl." nova giggles and touches your sister's face.

Flip gets ready to leave the house and get the formula. But he doesn't know what kind.  
With his sherpa and sneaks on, he goes downstairs to ask the experts on what formula to buy.  
You are on the couch feeding Nova, and your sister is now in the kitchen.  
"Hey, love." Flip kisses you on the cheek. How are you feeling? He smiles at you like he did when he first met you its all wide-reaching his ears.   
"I'm okay. How was work?"  
"It was good. Jimmy said the girls miss you; maybe you three can go to lunch and catch up."  
"Wouldn't that be nice..but things are different now.." you sigh and move your head to look away from him.   
Flip turns to your sister whose watching you two from the kitchen as if to say help me.  
"Well, Flip is going to the store now, aren't you Flip." your sister speaks up from the kitchen.   
"Yes..yes, I am..want anything," he asks you.  
"No, I'm good. Thanks." you are so disinterested.   
"Should I get dinner while I'm out?" Flip is reaching to try and get any type of reaction out of you—no luck, though.   
"No, there are enough leftovers." Says your sister.  
Flip moves closer to her, and whispers. "What type of formula do I get?"  
"Get three cans of Nestle lactogen and some wine red for me, please. I don't care what brand."  
"Okay.. ill be back."

Flip hopes the grocery store is still open. The ride there, he thinks about how sad you looked just then. People say babies are bundles of joy, but that's a lie. The grocery store is just about to close when he makes it in. The clerk gives him a look like really dude. "my wife needs formula, can you show me where it is?"  
"I sure can." The clerk now wears an apologetic look for being an asshole.  
"Here you are, sir, Aisle seven ."  
Flip just looks lost at the array of choices trying to remember what brand y/s/n said again.  
"Do you know what brand it is?" Ask the clerk she looks to be like no older than sixteen.  
"My sister in law said something facto..uhm..im sorry I'm new to this."  
"It's okay, here my mom uses this, Nestle Lactogen. I think this is what your sister-in-law was suggesting."  
Flip gives the clerk a nervous smirk, "yes, I believe that's the one. I need three." He takes the one from the clerk and grabs two more. "Thank you," Flip says as easily carries two cans in his arms.  
"Since your last customer ill ring you up. Follow me." She blushes as she looks at Flip and his muscles flexs while holding the formula.  
Flip pays her no mind and follows her to the register. "Oh, wait, I need wine." He shouts and runs to grab the first red wine bottle he sees.  
He returns to the register. Where the teen is patiently waiting  
"Thanks for waiting."  
"No problem, How old is your baby?"  
"Three months."  
"And this is your first run for formula?  
"Yes, my wife usually breastfeeds."  
"Oh well, good for her, and she's lucky to have you. Your total is $15."  
Flip finally smiles at the girl; he couldn't help but feel proud of himself and you. He pays the girl and thanks her again. With his new invigoration, he knows exactly where to take you for the weekend and what you two will do.

When Flip arrives home, your sister is in the living room playing with Nova on the mat.   
"Look who's home with your food. Zimmerman, you remembered my wine." She pulls him down for a hug.  
Flip just stands still your sister has never hugged him, ever.   
She grabs the formula from him and takes it to the kitchen. Where are you taking my sister?"  
"California." He says smiling and beaming.   
"on what a flight."  
"No, a drive."  
"This late at night?"   
"Yes, why not?  
"Uhm, I don't know Zimmerman."  
"Think about it; its the place she feels most alive. It's your guy's home state. And there is a beach."  
"No, I get it. But isn't that too far to be away from the baby."   
"You said you got Nova, and I trust you and Jackson. I'm not worried. "  
Your sister now has her hands on her hip, looking down at her feet. "I'm not worried about you, don't you get it. It's her".. your sister points to the stairs as she argues with Flip, "she will freak out if she's too far away from the baby. She will be consumed with worry your whole trip. that's like a two-day drive, and you only have a two day weekend."  
"I don't know what to do then. "Flip leans against the kitchen counter and stares at the ceiling in defeat. He liked the idea, but your sister was right. Where would he take you?  
"Now, I don't mind if you want to flight out tomorrow morning."  
"No, I know her shell think I'm crazy if I suggest flying away from our 3month old baby."  
Your sister smiles and shakes her head in agreement.  
"What about Denver?"  
Flip looks down and says, "really Denver." Did she forget what happened there?  
"Nope, nevermind."  
"I'll take her to Durango well get a hotel. It will be like a staycation."  
"Now, I like the sound of that." She high fives him.  
"Is she upstairs?"  
"Yes, she's packing."  
"Okay thanks for helping us."  
"Were family. Its what we do."  
Flip smiles at y/s/n and runs upstairs to you.  
Your in your robe laying on the bed in defeat. None of your beautiful clothes fit anymore. And you don't want to leave your house. You feel like a fool for making a whole scene, and now you're being forced out of your home. 

Knock, then the door opens. You turn your head to see who it is; its just Flip.  
"Hey you."  
You wave. not bothering to look his way or move.  
Flip kicks his shoes off and hops to lay beside you on the bed  
"How's it going?" Flip plays with the hair that has fallen out of your shower cap.  
"Oh, it's going." You turn to face your husband. His hair is neck length now, and the curls are coming out. His freckles sparkle like stars against his pale skin. You rub your hand on his checks, smiling at the masterpiece that he is. Flip takes your hand and kisses it. He kisses all the way up your arm moving your rob sleeves up to give him more access.  
"Flip."  
"Hmm"  
"I'm sorry."  
Flip stops. And looks up confused. "Sorry for what?"  
"For being so dramatic."  
"Babe, what are you talking about?"  
"I didn't mean to make a fuss it's just today was hard; nothing I did would stop Nova from crying, but I can do better. I just have to try harder. We don't have to leave; we can stay home. And I can.."  
Flip kisses you to shut you up.  
"You're not dramatic. Its the opposite your being you. You want to be perfect. But guess what we won't be perfect parents, and that's okay. We can only try our best and right now our best is good enough. You just need some time for you; that's why we need to get-away. "  
"Can you dig it?" He gyrates his body, trying to lighten the mood.   
You roll your eyes that are now filled with tears, "flip, don't ever say that again." You laugh.   
"I thought I sounded cool."  
"No way you sound far from cool. Thank you."  
"For what?"  
"For being a great husband and the best dad ever." Flip never thought of himself as a great husband or dad, but to hear you say those words makes him feel so happy.  
He can't find a response, so he says, "let's get packed so we awesome parents can go have some adult fun."  
"Okay daddy." You smack his ass   
Flip is stunned, did you just call him daddy? Cause he is a daddy. But this weekend he wants to be your daddy. He knows you didn't mean it in a sexual way, but it used to be your sex thing, but now with Nova, he's second-guessing that.  
You wonder why Flip isn't moving. "You alright?" You ask as you look over to him, making sure he's okay.   
"Yeah I'm fine, let's get going."   
"Okay." You are really looking forward to time away.

All packed and ready to go. Flip is putting your bags in his truck. While your going down a list of all Noava's quirks for your sister. 

"She likes to sleep on her back with her binkie next to her not in her mouth. Uhm..what else…oh and I made a list of her feeding hours, nap hours, and…."  
"Sis." Your sister places her hand tenderly on your shoulder. "Listen, I've had a baby before remember, and I know your baby, not as well as you, but this weekend I will learn for myself. So, call me only when necessary as I will do the same. Unclench a little; you're going to need it. She winks at you and laughs. Now say goodbye to your baby and let me take care of the rest."  
You look at her questionably, cause you trust her, but you don't trust yourself to as she said unclench.   
"I will try my best."  
Flip returns to collect you and say goodbye to the baby.   
She's upstairs sleeping in her crib, Flip lets you finish talking to your sister while he makes his way up to the baby  
You continue talking to your sister,   
"I don't know where we are staying or going. But when I get there, I will call you so you can reach us."  
"Just go say goodbye to your baby." She pushes you to the stares. "And Remember to unclench." she squats and points to you as you pause to listen to her. 

You didn't feel like you were that uptight. You shake your head as you make your way to the crib. 

Nova is holding her father's finger as she sleeps. Flip is patting her wayward curls away from her face and he tells her about the weekend her parents are about to have.   
"Mom and I are going on a grown-ups trip. You will be here with your fun aunt, uncle, and cousin. won't that be a fun little one."  
You'll be center of attention, you as you snuggle into flips side watching your baby sleep so peacefully, He wraps his arm around you instinctively and kisses your hair.   
"I love you both so much."  
"We love you more." You place your palm on his chest.   
"Not possible", he whispers in your ear.  
"Uhgm." your sister coughs from the doorway. "It's like almost midnight and y'all need to be leaving."  
You look at Flip, "won't it be safer if we just wait for daylight, I mean the streets are pretty dark and." Your turn back to your sister   
"Flip is an ex-marine I know he can navigate dark roads. Believe in your husband as I do." She places her hand over her chest to complete her point. Okay, now she is really trying to sell this, it's weird how much she is on his side.   
Flip is pushing you out of the nursery. "Come on, mama lets go." They are really conspiring against you. She has deserted you.   
"I must say," you stop in before you get to the top of the stairwell. "That I do not appreciate being handled like this. Just for the record." You give the both of them a nasty look as you descend the stairs  
Flip laughs and shoots your sister an eye roll.

End the end; you do hug your sister goodbye before getting into Flip's car. Giving her your last instructions as you talk from the car window.   
"I love you and call me if you need anything. The guest room is clean. You can sleep in the master when Jackson gets here; the linen closet is full of clean linen."  
"Will you stop already and leave already." She just turns away from you and walks back into the house.   
You look at Flip who is now in the driver seat, "can you believe her?"  
"Yes, I can." He tells you plainly and pulls the car out of the driveway.  
You gasp wholly offended. So you decide to ignore him the whole way to where ever the hell your going. 

Flip is completely fine with the silent treatment. It didn't last long anyway; you fell asleep within the first thirty minutes of driving.   
Your head resting against the passenger window feet curled up onto the bench seat just a few touches away from flips legs. He finds himself rubbing your legs every now and again on the drive. He loves how smooth your skin feels compared to his calloused hands. 

Your eta is about two hours away from Durango, and Flip needs to stop in Dallas, Colorado to refuel.

You feel the car stop and bright lights come to view. You get up from your very uncomfortable position and look around. Flips jacket falls to the floor; he must have laid that across your legs when you were sleeping. You pick it up and put in on top of your sweatshirt cause Shit it's cold. You want to get out and stretch your legs. You watch Flip come out of the gas station he's running back to the car you can tell that he's cold by the way he's stuffing his hands in his pocket. When Flip comes into view, he sees you through the windshield and waives.  
You step out with him and watch as Flip gets gas.   
"You should get back in the car; its cold out here". He's moving from one leg to another, trying to stay warm.   
"Want your jacket back?" You are concerned he'll catch a cold.   
"No, I'm good." He's trying not to shiver.   
You hug him stretching the wings of the jacket around him. "We'll just keep each other warms then." You know good, and well your body heat won't do much, but you try.   
He laughs and warps his arms around you. As you both wait for the truck to fill up.   
The pump pops, you release Flip and wait for him to get finish before getting back in the car.   
"Get back in the car ill finish up." Flip says.   
You listen and get back in the truck. You realized that you never asked him where you were going. You didn't even know where you two were. You start to panic cause you are not used to not knowing things.   
"Before we leave, did you want any snacks?" Flip asks as he get back into the driver seat.  
You look at him, "no, I'm okay."   
"Did you eat dinner cause I didn't? I mean gas station food isn't great but", he sends you a feverous smile. He's obviously hungry but doesn't want to eat if your not going to eat.  
"Flip if you want to get something that fine, I'm okay." You snuggle into his sherpa, trying to get comfortable again.  
"Are you sure?"  
"Yes."   
"Okay", he goes back into the store, probably to get a hotdog or something.  
You use this time alone to try to figure out where you are. It's dark outside so you can't see much. You look at your watch it's now 3 am on a Saturday morning. You have the nerve to ask the truck driver who is smoking not too far from you where you are, but your sister said to unclench and trust Flip. So that's exactly what you will do. 

"Here, I got two hot dogs. The works for you and just mustard for me. Some Jerky and chips." Flip hands you the food.   
You try to juggle all this food in your hands, "Flip, why all this food?"  
"I'm hungry, and we have two hours more on the road. You may say your not hungry, but a hotdog won't hurt." He pushes the hot dog closer to you.  
"Fine ill eat it. Please turn the heater on."  
He smiles and gets on the road again. You listen to some Janis Joplin for the rest of the drive. Your feet are laying across flips lap as he has one hand on the wheel and the other on your leg. Your back is resting against the passenger door. Flips jacket is now your jacket keeping you nice and warm on this cold winter night. 

"You know," you talk with your mouth full of chips, "that you haven't shared with me our destination."  
Flip smirks and turns to you, "id like to keep it that way."  
"I feel like this is the beginning of a dateline story." You put another chip in your mouth.  
"A dateline story? Aren't those about husbands and wives murdering each other?"  
"Let me set up our story; it was a cold winter night." You say in an eerie voice. "when two new parents were taking a staycation in the lovely state of Colorado. Little did they know the fate that would meet them.."  
"Stop. Just stop; we are not a dateline story and leave that creative writing for the tribune." Flip smacks your legs, moving them off his lap. He is clearly upset.   
"What I thought it was funny?  
"What about that is funny y/n?" You're basically insinuating that I took you on this trip to kill you, or that something terrible will happen to us."  
"You have to admit Flip with all things considered its 4 am on a dark back road. Only you know where we are going, and I'm just the ever so trusting wife. I mean, its just screams "danger" or "caution"."  
"But that's not what I'm saying." He looks away from you and turns back to the road, huffing and whispering something under his breath. "Do you think I would hurt you?" He says in his hurt voice.   
Oh, fuck, you didn't mean it like that. It just scared you that you didn't know where you were going, and most horror stories start like this. You never meant for it to sound like Flip was trying to kill you. You drop the chip bag and sit up, giving Flip your full attention.

"I didn't mean it like that. I know you wouldn't hurt me. I'm just..ugh", you look away from him and put your hands in your face. "I'm just trying to distract myself from my feelings of anxiety that I'm not in control. I don't like this feeling of uncertainty. So I masked that by seeing the really negative and creepy elements of this whole trip. I didn't even consider what my words would be implying of you. I'm sorry."

"Why couldn't you just tell me you were nervous? Why did you have to come up with your own dateline story? Of all things y/n. I mean, do you even remember why we are on this little staycation. For us for you." he points to you. "Jesus!" He slams the steering wheel. Causing his hair to fall out of place, and he rakes it to push it back. 

You fell pretty shitty right now. Why did you have to ruin the little peace you two had? You think that's why you like being around Nova even if she drives you insane. She's your buffer in awkward moments like this; you can just pretend that she needs you. There will be no Nova crutch this weekend. 

We're here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if it seems like I'm obsessed with breastfeeding, it's just a took a lactation class one semester of college and I've been fascinated by how awesome women are. So please excuse me. I know my writing style is different if you have any suggestions I'm open to any feedback. Anyway, thanks for reading. Two chapters left. : )


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y/h/y= your hair type

You turn to look out the window and see the horizon just begin to rise above the snow-filled mountains. The town was small and quaint. The downtown streets were lined with cute antique stores and coffee shops. Finally, a massive sign with the Colorado state flag that said welcome to Durango. He took you to fucking Durango. You had never been, so it would be a good chance for both of you to explore. You just wish it was California someplace a little warmer. What are you even saying? Your husband just drove five hours on his own in the dark for your ungrateful ass to have a weekend away from a crying baby that disrupts your soul. You love her, but she's too much for you right now. And you're worried about not being in California. Girl your priorities. 

Flip finally parks in front of a nice bed and breakfast just outside the city. It has a cute blue Victorian-style with white crown moldings.   
"I'm going to check their availability?" Flip leaves not even giving you a second glance.   
You better make this right, or this weekend will be miserable.  
After about five minutes, Flip returns and knocks on your window.   
"They have a room." he then goes to the bed of the truck and gets your bags and makes his way back into the hotel.  
He's not going to wait for you. At least he got the bags.   
You hurry to put his jacket on properly cause it's like 30 degrees outside you lock the car from the inside and jog to catch up with him.   
There is a grey stone pathway that leads you to the bed and breakfast they have a cute little picnic area in the front grass lawn. You are actually looking forward to this.   
When you step inside, Flip is still checking in with the hostess.   
She sees you, and her disposition changes.   
"Excuse me, ma'am, but we have no vacancies."  
You look around to see a pretty empty dining room and no cars but Flips in the parking lot.   
Flip looks at the woman, trying to see what the problem is. She's an older white woman wearing a momo, and she doesn't have all her teeth. It's clear this is her small business, and she may not be very cultured.   
"I'm sorry, are you talking to me?" You ask her very politely.   
"Who else would I be talking to?" She replies in a very firm tone.   
You now look at Flip to see what he is going to do about this because if you handle it won't be pretty.  
"My wife and I are here for the lover's suite. Is that a problem?"  
Flip moves closer to you and pulls you over to the desk, where he is filling out a check for the weekend stay.   
"This woman is your wife?"  
"Yes, I am, is that a problem?" With your hand on your hip and the most robust eye roll, you could ever serve.   
"Well, I..uhm..ive.. "she looks between you and Flip trying to figure it out. Its obvious there is a problem.   
Flip doesn't wait; he rips up the check he just wrote and says. "Well, find somewhere else to spend our money." He grabs your bags and asks you to lead the way. He's blocking the woman's view of you.   
You can't believe what just happened. But its to be expected its the early seventies and you're in a super small town.   
Flip opens the car door for you and puts the bags back in the bed of the truck. The old batty is watching you two leave from the porch.   
You look yourself up and down. You had a matching sweatsuit on with a cute trench coat with flips sherpa on top. And your hair was in a updo. You looked presentable; you hate when this happens.   
Flips looks over to see you analyzing your body; he should've known this small of a town might bring issues. But he didn't know, "Are you alright? "I'm sorry I didn't think it would.."  
"That my blackness would be an issue?"  
"Come on." He shakes his head a little uncomfortable with the topic of race.   
"Flip let's just call it what it is? Every time we go anywhere, we get looks people treat me like I'm the help, and I just work for you. Or better yet your plaything. You don't see it but its true. That's why I always dress up whenever we go out cause then they can't mistake me for the help. I'm your wife, and you see me that way. But the world doesn't, and it may be a long time before that happens. Thanks for sticking up for me back there I really appreciate it." You touch his cheek and squeeze his thigh as he drives. The way Flip was protective of you is turning you on. He just took control and claimed you as his woman. Damn this man. 

Flip cheeks get red, and he licks his lips, with your hand on his thigh he's getting very excited. this "you gonna find a hotel soon or what?"  
He doesn't hesitate; he drives back downtown, and you both settle on a hotel called the Dixon. The hotel receptionist was nice and didn't question your interracial relationship. Its old-fashioned 50's hotel that has not caught up with the current fashions but its a place to sleep. 

Flip gets the biggest suite they have cause he wants to pamper you. You could care less of the size of the room; you just want a bath and a bed. The room is huge. It has a living room and full on-suite bath and a balcony. Its color scheme is orange and teal, and it has mid-mod century furniture, your favorite. Flip puts your luggage in the closet next to the en-suite bathroom. It's about 6 am on Saturday. 

"What do you want to do today?" You ask as you undress into your undies. You are standing on the side of the king low-frame bed.   
Flip, who is undressing too, just stand on the opposite side of the bed looking at you. He's mentally tracing all of your curves. Your body has changed since the baby, but you're so beautiful to him. y/s/c just glistens in the sunlight and y/h/t your just perfect.   
"Flip, what are the plans for today?"  
"Well, I was hoping we could stay in and then go out for dinner. I think we both need a rest." He laughs as he gets into the bed.   
"you've got that right. But real quick, I'm going to call home and check in on Nova." You rush up to call home. Flip moves to pull you back in bed, but he's too late your already standing by the nightstand calling home. Flip just lays back down and drags his hands over it face. He finally got you alone in a bed without a kid, and now you're running back to the kid. He knows why you're calling home, but he wishes he could just have one moment alone and cherish it. 

"Hello y/s/n"  
"Yes, y/n. Where are you guys?"  
"We are in Durango. Were staying at a hotel called the Dixon. So if you need to reach is our room number is 402. hows Nova? Does she miss me?" You twirl the phone wire anxious. You wonder if she cried all night as she slept.   
"If I need you I will call you. Nova is fine she's lying on the couch with Jackson sleeping. Don't worry about her; we got her she'll be fine. Enjoy your husband. Bye."

You pull the phone away from your ear and stare at it. How could she just hand upon you?  
"She just hung up on me. "Your turn to look at Flip mouth agape at the fact that your sister was so rude just now. You are so offended she didn't even let you talk to the baby. Flip is lying with he's back on the bed. His head is resting on his hands.   
"Uhm is the baby good." He looks in your direction.  
"Yes, my sister said she's sleeping on the couch with Jackson." You say in a sigh and crawl back into bed.   
"Then there is nothing to worry about." Flip muscles are showing now that his arms are flexed. You can smell his pine cologne and cigarette smoke. He smells like home. Its been a while since you've been able to enjoy the cigarette smell on him since you've had the baby. You don't like that he smokes, but it makes him hotter for some reason.   
"How can you be so nonchalant about this?" You lay on your side head resting on you hand looking at Flip. "Our baby is spending the weekend without her parents."  
"yes, but she's with your sister. So I'm not worried." He shrugs and moves to lay on his side closer to you. "Plus it's only two days the child will survive. The real questions is, can you?" He winks at you in a flirtatious way.  
"Can I what?"  
"Can you relax and enjoy yourself. Look, we are in a quiet hotel room with no screaming baby." He moves his arms around as if to show you the room. "We can rest. That is what this whole weekend is about. Some R&R." He caresses your check and runs his fingers down your spine.   
"I can relax." You're offered that Flip doesn't think you can relax. Then again, your sister did ask you to unclench. Flips smoothing touches are serenading you to sleep." Im going to bed." You turn on your other side so your back is to him and get comfortable.

Flip decides that the sex will come later in the day. For now, he his really tired from the long drive and wants to sleep too. He pulls you into his chest, so he's the big spoon and falls asleep. 

********  
Flip is the first to wake from your nap. You've moved away from him in your sleep; your now completely on your side laying on your stomach drooling and the whole nine. You must be really exhausted. He checks the time its four in the afternoon. You two haven't eaten all day. Hell call room service and order an early dinner. He chooses roasted salmon and mash potatoes for you and steak for him. He also buys a whole bottle of red wine and chocolate-covered strawberries for you. He wants you to wake to something nice.   
Room service will arrive in 45min, so hell freshens up while he waits. He takes one last glance at you; you look so peaceful in your sleep; your hair is falling out of your bun, and your bra isn't holding up either. He better go cool off in the shower.

The bathroom is pretty large, a full shower, and a water jet bathtub. He undresses and lets the warm water run. When its the right temp, he hops in. He cant stop thinking about that racist white lady at bed and breakfast. Jimmy said he and Sharon stayed their once, and it was nice. But not for the two of you. He sees the way people look at you, and he doesn't like it. It's like you can't believe your with him like romantically. You've gotten that your whole marriage. He thought the taboo of it would go away, but in a small place like Colorado, it will be a while before things come around. He just wishes Nova will have a better experience. According to you her life will be harder than both of yours. Shell be a mixture of the two of you stuck in between two worlds. But no matter how hard it gets he's determined to be there for her protecting her from whatever may come. He's been in the shower for too long. The water is now cold. He rushes to clean himself and hops out in a rush. The cold water gave him adrenaline he hasn't felt since the war. He hasn't taken a cold shower since then, either. 

There is a knock at the door,   
Room service.   
Shit, he's been in there that long. He wraps a towel around his hips and answers the door.   
The bellhop is shocked to see a bare-chested man open the door—their checks red.  
"Should I help you with this sir. "  
"No, I've got it to thank you. Wait, let me tip you." He rushes to his pants and grabs a five.   
"Here.   
"Thanks, sir." And the kid practically runs away.

The cart is quite squeaky it actually wakes you up.  
"What's going on you?" say still groggy from sleep. You felt like you slept for way too long.   
"I ordered room service." Flip moves the cart over the couch and coffee table that is near the balcony.   
"What time is it?" You're still trying to wake up. You're sitting up in the bed, rubbing your eyes.   
"It's like five in the afternoon."  
You finally open your eyes Flip is completely naked. We'll half-naked, and the food smells so good. As much as you want to get up. Your body is pulling you down. Literally.  
You fall right back down on the bed. "I think I'm going to need a minute."   
Half of Flip wanted you to wake up and acknowledge he's technically naked, but he knows he will have to be patient with that. He's just happy your getting sleep.   
Flip puts on a t-shirt and his boxers while he waits for you to wake up.   
You still haven't moved in over thirty minutes, and the food is getting cold. He sits down next to you on the bed and moves your shoulder lightly. "y/n the food is getting cold." No response. He tries again no movement. "Babe wake up." he whispers in your ear. Still nothing. What can he do to get you to wake up?   
He has an idea, but he's not sure if he should do it. Fine, hes going to do it.   
Flip gets under the blanket and pulls your underwear down. He waits for you to see if you move. No movement, and he continues. He starts tracing his fingers up and down your thighs and a little shift in your legs but nothing more. So he decides he'll kiss your inner thighs. That was a bad idea. 

You fell this tingling sensation trailing up your legs. You just wiggle it away. Then you fell a wet kiss on your thigh so you move your leg over the right to get up and hear a fuck my nose and your knee begins to throb. You hit something hard with your knee. 

You throw the blankets off, and Flip is between your legs holding his nose that is bleeding with his hand. 

"What the hell are you doing?"  
"Trying to surprise you." He says in a stuffy voice. Cause he's holding his nose.   
You run to the bathroom and wet a washcloth and rush back and place it over Flip's nose.   
"Oh my gosh flip I'm so sorry, did I break your nose?" Your inspecting his face looking for other injuries.   
"No, I don't think so."  
You move the cloth away and pinch his nose. He cringes and pulls your hand away.   
"Fuck, don't do that it hurts."   
"I think it's broken. Oh my god, I broke your nose." You move his hair from his face, so he doesn't get blood in his hair. You sit next to him on the bed—you're wearing this look of concern.  
It's not broken, just sore. He says to you, still holding the bloody washcloth against his nose, he places his hand on your thigh as if to say it's okay. 

"What were you doing down there anyway?"  
His nose stops bleeding, and he wipes the blood off his face.   
"I was trying to be sexy. I tried to wake you up, and you wouldn't, so I thought I would..you..know." he looks down to your now expose vag.   
You follow his eyes downward. And immediately grab a sheet to cover up.  
"That was not a smart idea." You shake your head in embarrassment.   
"I know that now" .he laughs, pointing at his nose. "I used to wake you up like that all the time when we first go together. remember."  
Boy, do you remember. No guy you had ever dated wanted to eat you out so bad. It was like a challenge for him. And every-time you swear he got better at it.  
"Yes, I remember." you bump shoulders with him. He looks at you with a shy expression. It's like he doesn't know how to approach you anymore. "Do you know we've been together for a year now?"  
"Hmm?" You look at him confused cause you've been together for years now.   
"You came home last February,it's like our year anniversary."  
You think back had it been that long. Yes, it has. You can't believe that within a year, you two had a baby. It feels so odd. Now it's like you got into a good space romantically and then a baby and now your trying to get good again.  
"Wow, what a year, hugh?" You smile at him and fall back on the bed.  
Flip does the same, "it's been the best year of my life."  
"Really?" You turn to see flip smiling from ear to ear. The sunset let catching the room at the right time. He's like glowing. His hair is falling down just perfectly around his face. 

"The love of my life came home and gave the gift of life. I couldn't have asked for a more perfect family. Shit..i never thought I'd have a family." Flip wasn't close with his parents, plus they died when he was in his twenties. He and his siblings aren't close. So you, Nova, are his only family.   
"You two give me purpose every day." He's voice begins to crack and tears start to flow down his face. "All I ever wanted was to be a good husband, and I know I haven't always put you first, but I want to do better. I will do better, I promise."

You can't believe it. You wipe the tears from his face. Your hands are so small compared to his face; it quite hilarious the size difference between you two. "Your the best husband I could ask for. I know you feel guilty about the past and I blame myself for being so critical of you. I want you to let go of that guilt I have forgiven you and I love you more every day." You pull his head towards yours so now your foreheads are touching. "You do your best every day, Nova and I will be forever grateful. Were a team and we need to do better with connecting. I feel like since we found out we were pregnant and then now parents, we really haven't had a chance to enjoy our reunion." You wink at him. Your felling very suggestive.

"No, we haven't. Can we be honest with each other?" Flip takes your right hand to hold.   
"Yeah,"  
"I feel like you use Nova as a crutch." Shit, he's calling you out.   
"Like whenever I want to get intimate with you or even show little notes of affection. You run to Nova as if she needs you. And I know in those moments that she doesn't need you, your just saying she does. Why do you do that? Do I make you uncomfortable?" Flip looks hurt. He has sad puppy eyes like he's afraid of your answer.

"Honestly," you turn your head away. "I feel like we got back together, and then I was just getting used to being home with you. Next thing you know, I'm pregnant. Like our time together was cut short. Don't get me wrong. I love Nova. I just kind of wish we could've had a second honeymoon phase you know where we could enjoy each other a little more. And now that my body has changed and Nova sucks my energy like a vampire. I'm always exhausted, and when you love on me, I feel like If I were to engage, I wouldn't be an active participant. I would be like a fucking log. Plus, I'm different in a way I never imagined id be. The ways I've changed are hard to articulate in words, and I'm very protective of that. I know you just want to love on me and that you love me and would never hurt me. But I don't think I'm in love with the new me yet then to share that part with you. It's scary. You let out a huff cause that was a mouth full. You just let it all out everything that you've wanted to say, but it felt like the right time to let it out. Your tearful cause you don't know what Flip's reaction will be. 

Flip doesn't say anything. He's just processing what you've said.   
You finally turn to him, wiping away your own tears and looking for reassurance or any sign of something.  
Flip is crying still, but he's also has a bright smile like he's hopeful. "I agree that we didn't get to share much time together, and then you got pregnant. It's nice to know that you want me the same way I want you, but it's just a little complicated. The good news is that I can do complicated. How about we start slow? You tell me where you want to start." Flip pulls the sheets that are wrapped around your waist so you're closer to him, and he places his large hands on your hip.   
You bite your lip and say, "I like slow."  
Flip smiles and kisses your forehead, "then we'll go slow." He pushes you back on the bed and gives a very passionate kiss. Your hands automatically rake through his hair. You feel yourself wanting more of him you now throw your legs over his hips, so you're currently on top. This is not slow. Flip's hands are roaming all over your body; he's reaching under your shirt to massage your breasts. The two of you are practically dry humping, and then Flips stomach growls. You pull back to look at him, all out of breath and very flustered.   
"Sorry, is this too fast for you?" Flip removes his hands from your breasts and moves them to your hips.   
"No, this was..uhm.. great, would love to continue…"  
He smiles and lifts himself up to kiss you again. He pulls your head down, and then he's stomach growls again. He must not hear it cause he's really invested in this make-out session.   
"Flip,"   
"Hmm". He's now kissing down your neck and moving his hips to grind against you.   
"Flip!" you push him down on the bed.   
He doesn't know what caused you to get so psychical. "You said it was okay.."  
"No it is, but your stomach keeps growling, and it's distracting. Why don't we eat?"  
"I much rather eat you." He winks and grabs your ass.   
"You've tried that already didn't really work out." You pinch his nose, and he yelps in pain. You get off his lap and look around the floor for your underwear. You find them on the floor next to the foot of the bed. You put them on and get a nightgown from your luggage in the closet. Next, you head for the bathroom. "Can you warm the food? I'll be ready in a minute."  
Flip decides he can either join you in the shower or he can be a gentleman and have dinner hot and ready for when you get out the shower. You said you wanted to take it slow, so he'll make dinner.   
Flip calls room service to see if they can warm your food. The bell hop is there in no time and retrieves your cart. Flip makes the bed while he waits for the food to return. When that's done, he decided to call home and check on Nova. 

Jackson answers, "Yes, Y/N"  
"No, it's actually Flip."  
"Oh, what's up, man? Are you two getting acquainted?" He says in a seductive voice.   
"Were trying. How have you been, man? It's been like forever since I've seen you."   
"I know I've been good. When you come back, let's get together for a beer."  
"Id like that. How's Nova and Aiden doing?"  
Nova is having a blast. Aiden is completely enamored by her he's really doing most of the work for me and y/s/n. He's keeping her entertained we just do the major stuff. "  
Flip laughs and thinks about how Nova might want a little brother or sister one day. "That's sounds really nice, man. Well, I won't keep you for long. Tell her her parents love her and we'll be home soon. Thanks for giving us some time alone."  
"Don't sweat it, man. We can't even count the times you two have helped us with Aiden. It's what family does. But hey, we're about to eat dinner, so call us tomorrow."  
"Okay talk soon."  
"Bye."

"Who was that? "You ask as you walk out of the bathroom in a tan silk nightgown that's mid-length, you grab your matching robe from your luggage. You hear a knock on the door.   
"Oh, that's room service/ flip says from the bed.   
"I'll get it." You put on your robe and head for the hotel door.   
"Hello," you say as you open the door.   
"Hey, Ma'am, I'm just returning your food. It's warm now. "  
"Thank you, young man. Flip come to tip the bell boy." You yell over your shoulder  
"I've already done that," Flip yells from the bed.   
"Tip him again." You yell back. "Ill take the cart. But wait here, my husband bringing your tip. Hope you have a good night." You send him a smile and take the cart.   
Flip comes around you and hands the kids another $5. The kid is just staring into your room. Flip follows his view, and he sees your ass as you bend over, taking down the food on the cart.   
"Hey, kid, that's mine. Now beat it."  
"Yes, sir, sorry."

Flip closes the door and shakes his head what the hell was wrong with that kid.   
"So, who were you talking to on the phone?" You ask as you dip your finger in the mash potatoes to taste.   
"I was talking to Jackson checking on Nova." Flip comes behind you and takes a green bean from his plate to taste.   
You have the nerve to call Jackson again to hear it for yourself. But you need to unclench. You repeat unclench. "How is our baby doing?"  
"She's good. Apparently, Aiden is keeping her completely entertained."  
So your sister decided to let Aiden see his cousin after all. Your so glad the two of them are getting along. You turn around, so you are now facing him.   
"Should we eat inside or set up outside on the balcony?"  
"I like the balcony idea."  
The balcony was large enough to fit a table and two chairs. And since the hotel was downtown, you had a great view.   
You clear the coffee table and move it outside. Then you use the two chairs out on the balcony and make a dinner table. Flip jones the coffee table, of course. You wet a cloth and wipe down the balcony chairs. They were filthy.   
"Okay, Flip ready for the food."  
Flip brings out the food and two glasses of wine.   
"Its a pretty cold night, do you want a blanket?"  
"Yes, please."  
Flip runs inside and gets a throw blanket off the couch. He also puts pants on, and a flannel causes his boxers and t-shirt won't cut it.

You open the bottle of chardonnay and fill the two glasses.   
Flip returns with your blanket, and he's changed into his uniform outfit. You exchange the blanket for a wine glass. "Thank you."  
"No, thank you." You wink at Flip.   
"Shall we eat." Flip makes way for you.   
"Yes, we shall," you both sit down to eat. You place the blanket across your legs.   
You people watch from the balcony as you eat.   
"Do you like your salmon?"  
"Yes, I do. hows your steak?"  
"Its okay could be seasoned a little more, but the wine makes up for it."  
"Why did you order wine anyway. why not your usual Coors."   
"I know you don't like Coors, so I thought id take one for the team."  
"Well, I appreciate it, the wine is nice. We haven't had a night like this in forever. Just the two of us and a nice drink." You cheer his glass.   
"Yes, it's been too long. I'm really enjoying the view."   
"The mountains are really beautiful, aren't they." You look beyond the downtown lights to see the mountains with snow at the very top.   
"I guess they're nice too."   
You look back at Flip and see his been staring at you the whole time.   
"Oh, I'm the view your enjoying. You raise your arms in the sky and shake your head.   
He smirks, "you've caught me."   
"You're just a corny lumberjack, and you know that."  
"I'm a lumberjack." He points to himself in disbelief.   
"Yes."   
"Is that how you see me?"  
You're blushing because you swear you've told him this before.   
"Babe, come on! you know that's like my nickname for you."  
"Lumberjack is your nickname for me." He blushes and shakes his head. "Since when?"  
"Since like forever." You truck your right leg under your left to get a little more comfortable.   
"I don't get it."  
"Let me paint a picture for you." You stand and make your way over to Flip. Your feeling very flirtatious.   
"You only wear flannels." You pop his color and move your palms again his chest. "You are as tall as a giant." You stand next to him and raise your arm high in the air for dramatic effect. "You're also very muscular; you caress his bicep." He turns to look at you, and you wink at him. "What does a lumberjack wear and look like? You, that's who." You shake his hair and move to the coffee table to fill your cup up with more wine. "You're my sexy lumberjack." You shrug now standing in-between him and that coffee table and take another sip of wine. 

Flip just watches you get so animated as you describe him and touch him. It's true he does have the look of a lumberjack, and he's okay with that cause he's your lumberjack.   
"Well, if I'm a lumberjack, then you're my mama bear." He grabs you before you move out of his reach and pulls you from the coffee table and into his lap bridal style.   
"I'll take that." You wrap one arm around his neck and smile as you take another sip of wine.   
These moments are so beautiful when it's just you and him and no one else. You don't have to talk you don't need to any way you've said all you needed to. Flip is twirling one of your curls as both sit in silence just looking at each other, longingly his touches along your leg are soft and sweet you could stay like this forever but it's getting cold.   
"I feel your goosebumps lets take this inside." Flip pats your legs that are laying across his lap.   
"Yeah, that a good idea." You move off his lap and clean the coffee table to move your dirty dishes to the food cart.   
You clean the coffee table off, and Flip moves it back into the room. He then pushes the food cart to the hotel hallway.   
The two of you retire to the bed. You brought a book with you that you've meant to read but haven't had the chance. So you whip it out of your purse and begin to read. Flip turns on the TV and watches basketball. It reminded you fo the nights you two first shared who you were a couple. Each is doing your own thing, but sharing space together with its so peaceful. 

Flip has to admit that in this moment, he is at peace. He can't stop thinking about his failed attempt to eat you out. His nose is still throbbing. He knows hell have to get it checked out when you guys go back home. He looks over from the game and sees you smiling as you read your book. You're completely enthralled in whatever you're reading. He liked that you're doing something for you. He can't recall the last time he's seen you read something other than the Tribune. Well, that not true, he remembers when you were pregnant with Nova, you would read children's books to her all the time. Now you read her to sleep. But a adult book for an adult its been before you left that would have to be the last time. 

"That was a foul! You yell at the TV. "Flip, are you watching the game."  
"Hmm," Flip blinks cause he hadn't noticed he's been staring at you this whole time. "Uh, no, what happened?"  
"Well, I don't know the names of the teams, but one of the guys in red, that guy right there, the tall one hit the player in the green with this elbow, and the ref didn't call it." You raised your voice as you point at the Tv that on the dresser right across from the bed.   
"You were watching the game?"  
"Not really, I just heard a lot of noise and looked up from my book and got caught up in the commotion, I guess. Basketball is very entertaining. Who would have thought?" You laugh and turn to look at him. Flip just looks like he's in a trance right now. If you didn't know any better, you'd say he was high.   
"Flip you, alright?"  
"Yep, never better." he clears his throat.   
"Is your nose okay," you lift up his chin to inspect his nose you swear its broken. "I think its broken Flip."   
"it's not will you leave it alone."  
"Fine", you raise your hand in the air. "I'll leave it for now. I'm going to bed, can you turn the TV down?"  
"Sure thing."  
You kiss him on the cheek, "thanks for tonight; it was very relaxing."  
"You're welcome," he gives you the usual smirk that means he's happy, and you turn over to get some sleep.   
Flips not tired yet, but this is probably the last time he'll get any rest. So he might as well take it. Flip takes off his flannel and jeans folds them then places them on the dresser. He crawls into bed; he spoons you again, and once you fell your back against him, you wrap his arms around your torso and hold onto them. Flip can't help but smile and hold you a little tighter.


	25. Chapter 25

You've been laying in the bed for like hours now. You cant move because Flip has a death grip around your waist. After five failed attempts, you've decided just to let it go and wait it out. You cant even reach over to see what time it is. 

Today is Sunday, you think. Its the last day of your peace and solitude. Later today, you will find yourself back home to a screaming baby. Hopefully, though, you can rally your girlfriends for support. Not hopeful you will need them, or you will sink. You've also been giving thought to how you should probably take the maternity leave you never took in the beginning. It will take the stress and an extra workload off of you. You play with the hair on flips arm as you think all these things through. You've noticed now that his skin is dry as hell; he needs to start using coco-butter. You'll tell him the though when he wakes up. 

You've really got to pee. So thinking time is over we need to strategize a way out of his crip. You've tried pulling his arms down or away from you. This time you'll slide down. You slide down and it seems to be working. Now your down but your under the covers so you continue to slide all the way down and you slide down the side of the bed cause the sheets are tucked at the bottom of the bed. You fall quietly cause the bed is lower to the ground. You just lay on your back for a while cause that was a workout. You use the restroom and make your way back to the bed. Its currently four in the morning, and you don't want to go back to bed. Flip is still asleep; he's now laying on his back. You don't really know what to do with yourself. 

You grab your book from the nightstand and sit on your side of the bed to read. An hour into reading and you're over it. You look down at Flip his hair is all in his face you move his hair out of his face to you can admire him a little. You think back to the first intimate moments the two of you shared as couple he would hate whenever you tugged on his ears cause back then he was fresh out of the marines he still had his buzz cut. He would tell you, "Leave my dumbo ears alone." But you never did you wanted him to be comfortable with every part of him from his ears to his nose to his height—just everything that you loved about him you wanted him to love about himself. You place the book back on the nightstand, and you get under the covers. You slide next to FlipFlip and push yourself up on the bed so you're his height. You start to nibble on his right ear. And from there you move to his checks you pepper kisses all over his cheeks. He starts to mumble but nothing you can make out. Next is his nose you have to be gentle cause its technically broken. So you place feather light kisses from the bridge to his cupids bow. During this whole process you have now moved from laying beside him to straddling him. Flip isn't moving; you don't know if he's pretending to be sleep or if he's actually sleeping, his breathing is the same, and you check his pulse; his heart rate is pretty steady.

So maybe you'll wake him up like he used to you. You've never done this before, and you know you've told him you want to take it slow, but you're bored. 

You start to leave long kisses on his neck, and you move down to his checks. He's shirtless, so no work there. He's super buff more buff than you remember your tracing every inch of his skin as you leave kisses. Your finally at the destination and he is rock hard. So this mutherlover is up. Hm must be one of his army tricks. You'll play along. You decide that you are going to use your hands first. So you reach inside his boxers and play with his ball for starters. He begins to whisper and move his hips. Then you trace his length with your nails he's already cuming this poor man is touch starved. Your starting to feel really bad this is all your fault. Well not fault but anyway focus. You wrap your hand around him and begin to pump up and down slowly not too fast. Finally, when he's almost there, you lick up and down his member flip cant take it. He's grabbing the sheets he's trying not to touch your head. You know because his hands have ghosted over your head a few times. Finally you take it all in and start doing your magic. Flip is moving his hips up into your mouth more, and he's already a big guy, so your not sure how much longer you can last. Your just about to swirl your tongue on his tip when he comes. In your mouth and you've never been a swallower, but you have like no choice. It's not the best taste, either.   
"Oh fuck, Fuck, oh my god." The log speaks.  
You crawl your way up Flip's body wiping your mouth off with your hands when you finally reach the top.   
"Oh my god, did I cum on your face." He says with concern and entirely out of breath.  
"No, in my mouth." You say as you try to wipe it off your mouth, but it's sticky, and now it's on your hand. You never liked giving blow jobs, and this is why.   
"Oh..really..babe I'm sorry. I was just. Um let me get you something." He gets all red in the face and reaches over his nightstand to give you a tissue that you kindly take and wipe your mouth off and your fingers. You toss the used tissue in the bin next to your nightstand. The two of you now lay side by side on the bed.   
"Babe, that was amazing." He kisses you and obviously tastes himself. "Eww, that's disgusting."   
"Yep, I swallowed most of it, so your welcome." You say nervously cause that was like the first time in years you've given a Bj, and your a little unsure of your abilities.   
"Thanks that was..woo.that was great. Sorry, you had to swallow that. I know how you feel about that. I just..its been a while." Flips all sweaty and trying to calm himself down. Wow, you must really be good at this.   
"I wanted to do something for you. To show my appreciate for you. So I'm glad you had a good time."   
"Man, you have no idea. What time is it?" He's smiling from ear to ear he's really happy. Who knew a blow job was all it took.   
"It's like five in the morning."  
"Oh." His breath still labored. "Do you think uhm..do you think we could have sex?"  
"We just did."  
"No..we didn't." he points between the two of you…" that was foreplay." Flip moves closer to you now. He moves his hands down your legs and finds the hem of your nightgown. He starts working his way up. No undies he's in luck.. you stop him   
"We can but clothes on. I want to keep my slip-on."  
"Okay," he nods he can work with that. "but promise me that you will not close your eyes on purpose."  
"What..close my eyes..I"  
"Don't lie; you closed your eyes last time, and it made me feel weird. Like you didn't want to look at me."  
"Oh, no Flip it's not that..oh my god.. I will promise to look at you." You place your hand on his cheek and pull him so he can kiss you.   
Flip deepens the kiss like your lifeline. He moves his hand up your leg and starts massaging your clit. You begin to move your hips to match his pace. Flip smiles and says, "I've wanted this for so long. Thank you."  
"You're …welcome..oh my god." Flip inserts two fingers and starts pumping. You place your head in his neck because he's taking you there.   
"If I go down on you promise you won't kick me." He laughs  
You make sure to look him in the eyes, "I promise."   
"Good," he kisses you one more time and gently pulls you down so your laying on your back. You adjust the pillow so your comfortable. Flip goes under the covers and reinserts his two fingers and starts sucking on your clit. You spread your legs more to give him more access, and he uses the hand he's not using to keep your right knee away from his face.   
"Flip, I can't..oh fuck..oh my..oh lord.." Your arching your back and grabbings the blackest with your first.   
He doesn't even ask; he just puts himself in you and starts thrusting really slow. He kisses your torso through your gown cause you said to keep it on.   
You're entirely in the zone and not looking at him. He makes his way up and stops his movements. "Y/n"  
"Yes." you look up and see him.  
"Thats better."  
He starts up again his thrusts are slow-paced but hard-hitting. You don't even know what to do with your hands; your so lost. So he grabs your hand and says, "here I like it when you play with my hair."  
You start to comb through his hair; this makes Flip lose his mind. He drops his head into your neck and begins to thrust harder.   
"I'm not going to last long." He warns you.   
"Go ahead, I'm good." Your okay with not cumming; this is just for him.   
"No, I want us to cum together." FlipFlip uses his arm that not keeping him steady and finds your clit and starts massaging it.   
"Oh my..yep right there." you tell him as he moves to get a better angle.   
He thrusts real hard and cums, and you right after. He falls on top of you in exhaustion. It's been a while since you've had sex, and it was well worth the wait. It's going to take a few minutes for you two to come down from that high. 

"Flip, did we use a condom?" You just realized that you're on birth control, but you don't want another kid just yet.  
He looks down. He's still in you. "Uhm, no I didn't bring any." He moves his head to the side to look at you. You look worried.   
"It's okay..it's fine. I'm on the pill; we should be okay."  
"I mean but if we had another kid, would that be so bad." He sends you a shy smile.   
You stare daggers into him; you two literally have a three-month-old and he wants another kid. "Flip, I do not want another child for like two years at the most. So yes another kid right now would make me go insane. Don't play me."  
"Okay, now I know I won't bring it up again."  
"Thank you. No uhm, can you hum release me? I have to go to the bathroom."

Flip slides out of you to "release you" and rests in bed. He will have to wait on the making another Zimmerman, for now, Nova is enough. He knows one thing for sure Nova was and is a huge cockblocker. So if you had another kid that like a double cockblock. Yes, he agrees no more kids. 

The hotel phone rings.   
"This is Flip."  
"Hey it's y/s/n"  
"Hello"   
"When will you two be coming back."   
Flip looks at the clock oh, its 7 am. "We haven't come up with a time yet."  
"Well, get here before 7 pm I have to go to work tomorrow so I can't stay late. How's it going? Get lucky yet."  
"Yes, I did." Flip whispers as if you could hear their conversation.   
"Good job, white boy. See you soon."  
"Wait, how's Nova?"  
"She's doing good. She is a bit fussy but that's because she's teething. She's a little young, but it's not uncommon. So I bought teething tablets and a teething ring. So y/n will be fully equipped when she returns."  
"Oh, that why she was giving y/n a tough time."   
"Yes, but its nothing to worry about."   
"She needs to be fed soon ill see you two before 7. Bye"   
"Bye."

The baby is teething he says out loud  
"Who is teething? Oh is nova teething." you run over the FlipFlip who is standing by the phone. "How do you know?" Your putting your robe on. "Well, I just got off the phone with your sister, and she told me that Nova is teething. Its early but not uncommon. She said, that's why Nova is fussy."  
"Oh, I thought so, but it seemed too soon. But everything's okay?"   
"Yes. everything is good; we just have to be home by 7pm."  
"Oh, we can do that. No problem. So what about breakfast wants to try one of these local places and then head home."  
"Or we can stay in just a little while longer." He picks you up and swings you around. After one twirl, he places you down and holds you a little closer.   
"Ha, I wish. We've already spent a whole day inside yesterday. Lets go out and explore. Don't you want to parade the women you just fucked so hard around town."  
"Why not?" He rolls his eyes at you and squeezes your butt.   
"That's the spirit." You peck him on the lips and head for the bathroom. "I call the bath; you take the shower."

**********************

Breakfast was nice you two found a really cute diner called the Red Hill Cafe you had French toast, FlipFlip got steak and eggs. You both have finished breakfast and are now just wasting time trying to get his moment to last forever. 

Over breakfast, you tell FlipFlip that you will be going on maternity leave. He was very ecstatic to hear that. A little late in his opinion but better late than never. You both agree to bring back date night once a month and sex more often. With no work, you should be able to devote more time to get comfortable with the new you and more nights out with Sharon and Rhonda. You were getting the old band back together.

"You look hot, by the way." Flip, gooses you as you leave the Cafe. You jump because the action catches you by surprise. You are wearing a maroon long-sleeved turtleneck dress with your brown trench coat and snake skinned go-go boots. The dress highlights your shape, and the boots give you a sexy element. 

"Hey there, mister, we are in Public."   
"I don't care."  
"I know you don't." You get on your tippy-toes signally to FlipFlip you want a kiss. He bends down and kisses you deeply placing both hand on your cheeks. When you pull away you just so happen to look to your left and see the old batty from the bed and breakfast. She's is staring at the two of you like a deer in headlights you smile and wave. Flip follows your eyesight and he just smirks and shakes his head. "What do you say, let get out of here."  
"Lead the way."

**********

Five Years later

"Maummm." Nova screams from her room upstairs.   
You are trying to make lunch for her and FlipFlip. Its a Tuesday Morning and the week is already going to shits. This is just another morning meltdown for her cause she doesn't want to go to school, and you do not have it in you to engage. She can wait until your done. You finish making the lunches and place them on the kitchen table.   
You walk upstairs to see where FlipFlip is and why he's not helping his screaming daughter.   
Flip is in your master bathroom with your two-year-old son Ransom. Ransom is the chunkiest little thing with beautiful caramel skin and y/h/c waves. Ransom is in the bathroom sink playing with the water.   
"Flip, didn't you hear Nova screaming."  
"Yes, but ransom decided to take off his diaper last night in the crib, so I'm trying to clean him off."  
"A number 1 or 2?"  
"It's neither. I can't describe it." Your eyes go wide in horror. Never a dull moment, that's for sure.   
"Okay you handle that. I'm going to check on Nova."

You walk right across the hall to Nova's room. Her room is purple with teddy bears everywhere and a cute princess canopy bed.  
"Nova hunny, where are you?"  
You hear whimpering, but you don't know where she is.   
The closer you get to the closet, the more clearer her cries are. You decide not to open the door just yet. You sit down outside the door and decide to talk to her.   
"Teddy bear its mama. What wrong?"  
"I..dont..want to go to school." Then she starts crying and louder than before.   
"Why don't you want to go to school, honey?"  
"I don't like it, and everybody is mean to me."  
"Can you give me examples of who is mean to you?"  
"Everyone, mommy! I want to say home with you and Ransy." Her nickname for Ransom.   
You take a deep breath; it's only her first semester of kindergarten, and she hates. It's a pretty diverse classroom you enrolled her in a Montessori because the classroom sizes are smaller, and you like the learning style.   
"How about this if you go to school today? Daddy will take you for a ride-along at the police station on Saturday."  
She stops crying and slowly opens the closet door.  
"With daddy." She is missing her two front teeth, and her curly hair is in two pigtails that are braided. Her dark brown eyes are swollen, and she's all nasaly from crying so hard.   
"Yes, with daddy." You smile and wipe her tears away and let her use your long sleeve shirt to blow her nose.   
"Okay ill go to skool." You look up in the sky and praise the Lord. Now all you have to do is tell FlipFlip about his weekend plans.   
"So if you are a good girl for the rest of the week and help mommy every morning, you get to go with daddy this weekend. Okay."   
"Okay."  
"What do I need from you so you can go with daddy? "You repeat cause you want her to understand that she has to earn her reward.   
"Be a good girl and go do skool."   
"That's my girl now get dressed." You kiss her plump cheeks and show her the outfit that is lying on the bed.   
You now make your way back to the master to check on Ransom. "How's it going?" Flip is now attempting to put a diaper on Ransom as Ransom tries to get away from him.  
"You know what Flip leave the diaper off."  
"What are you crazy this kid will pee everywhere."  
"Well, maybe he's telling us that he doesn't want a diaper anymore."  
Flip stops everything he is doing and stares at you. "Are you serious? You want to let a two-year-old make the decision not to wear a diaper."  
Babe, you get closer to him, "look Ransom he's already making that choice whether we give him free rein or not. I'll be home all day any way let me see if I can potty train him."  
"He's not potty trainable. This kid is a barbarian." He holds Ransom away from him like he's some kind of animal.   
"Well, he's our barbarian so how much you want to bet?"  
"Bet that you can potty train him?"  
"yes."   
"If I win, I get a BJ." Flip winks at you all, "cocky."  
You shake hand, confirming the deal. "Okay and if I win you take Nova to the station on Saturday for a ride-along." You say the last part really fast, hopeing he won't notice.   
"Deal, now hold a minute. That's no fair; this is a setup. The bet is off."  
"Too late Zimmerman, we have shook on it."  
"How long do we have?"  
"All week baby." You smile and pick Ransom up. "Daddy tried to put a diaper on you hugh you don't like diapers." You say in a baby voice. You give Ransom the diaper that Flip tired to put on him, and he throws it on the ground. "See the kid doest like diapers." You say as you leave the master to get Ransom dressed in big boy pants.   
"Y/N, no kid likes diapers." Flip yells at you as you leave the master.   
He cant believe you played him like that. He gets ready for work any way he has to drop Nova at school by 9am and its 8.00. By 8.15, everyone is downstairs eating breakfast—simple eggs and bacon with toast.   
Ransom is sitting on your lap, eating breakfast. Nova is in her booster seat, and FlipFlip is next to you just seething at the fact that you tricked him.   
"Daddy."  
"Yes, Nova?"   
"Where do babies come from?"  
You both stop eating and look at each other.   
"Remember, babies, come from mommies belly," Flip says.  
"Yes, but who put him there? My friend as skool said that mommies and daddies make babies."  
Flip is getting uncomfortable and wants to end this conversation, "look at the time we should be leaving."  
"Hold on, Flip. Nova asked us a question, and we must answer it." You place your hand on his knee a little to close to his bulge just to tease and say.   
"Nova, when two people love each other very much. They make a family." You, for some reason, have a parenting magazine not too far away that has an anatomy page. You grab it from the stacks of magazines on the counter and look for the page.   
Flip tries to take the magazine away, "Babe, we don't have time."   
You spank his hand, "Flip, this will only take like five minutes trust."  
You show Nova the whole life cycle, and after five minutes of explaining everything and she goes, "oh, that just gross." And sticks her tongue out.   
"See its gross—end of topic. Now go to school Nova and have a great day. Go put on your shoes." You kiss her and move to grab her backpack and place it next to her shoes.  
Flip is stunned why do you always win with these kids. He avoids, and you take them head-on.   
"Flip grab the lunches. Rams got to pee." You rush upstairs to the bathroom with the baby.   
Flip shakes his head and grabs his and Nova's lunch.  
"Ready for school, lil mama." He looks down at his grade-schooler and is filled with nothing but pride.   
"Yep." She says and grabs on to his leg to hug.   
"Alright, let's go."

*******  
Friday has come, and Ransom is potty trained. Nova has finished this week with no morning tantrums. You are a solid 10 in the mom ranking scale. 

Flip is watching the kids while you, Rhonda, Sharon, and y/s/n are out on the town. He has to admit he did not think that Ram would be potty trained by now. But here FlipFlip finds himself waiting on his 24month old son to finish pooping on the potty chair. Nova is in her room, setting up her tea table. Cause once Ram is done, they have a date at Nova's tea salon. 

"Daddy, are you going to make the tea?" Nova comes in the room wearing one of your suit jackets. She said it makes her look ready for business. It hangs to the floor like a dress, but she doesn't care.   
"Yes, give me a minute, honey." When Ram is done he stands up and claps. "Yes, good job buddy, now let's wash your butt."  
"Eww gross," Nova says as he watches her half-naked brother get cleaned up.   
Flip finishes cleaning Ransom and carries both kids down the stairs to make the tea.   
Nova plays with her brother in the living room while FlipFlip makes the tea. He makes chamomile tea so he can calm them down enough to go to sleep. He always tells Nova that real grown-ups don't put anything in their tea. So he can make sure she drinks its straight. It's a white lie, but it helps him keep his sanity.   
"Alright, the tea is ready."  
"Yaa! Ransom the tea is ready. "She tries to pick up her brother but can't, so she puts him back down. Ransom loves every minute of it he just looks up in excitement. "Okay, daddy, pick us up." Flip looked at the hot teapot in hand and then his two kids.   
"I can only take ransom cause I'm holding your teapot." He explains to Nova.   
"Ugh, Fine." She pouts and crosses her arms across her chest. Flip knows he doesn't have stand a chance. He either does what she wants, or he'll have a full-blown tantrum.  
"Fine, hop on, daddies back." He squats down so he can hop on, and she does.   
He scoops up Ransom with the arm that is not holding the teapot. And he somehow manages to get them both upstairs no injuries. If you had seen him, though, he would have been dead.

Nova serves Flip and Ram the tea. She has a quaint purple round table with matching chairs. Flip cant fit in her chair he would break it so he sits on the floor. Her teapots are pink with red flowers with matching cups.   
"Daddy, don't borget your pinky."  
"Oh yes, baby, I forgot." He points his pinky outward as he drinks from the cup.   
Ransom is so quiet he sits patiently for his sister to tell him what to do. He is so enamored by her, and FlipFlip loves every moment of it.   
"Okay, now daddy, how was work?"  
"It was nice."  
"What did you do?"  
"I drove around in the police car all day." He can't tell her what he really did.   
She starts to jump around the room, and Ram claps and laughs at his sister's actions.  
"Daddy, Daddy, are we going to do that tomorrow?"  
Shit Flip forgot about your deal. He takes a deep sigh.   
"Yes, we will do that tomorrow for a few hours."  
"Yeah!" she runs around her room and screams. Then Ransom does the same thing. 

After one more hour of play, FlipFlip gives each kid a bath and potty time. And they are out like a light. 

Its 9 pm, so Flip cleans the tea table and heads downstairs to clean up dinner. That's when he hears you trying to open the front door, and your sister is trying to help you.  
"Shhh, we have to be quiet." You laugh.. "the kids are asleep," you say very drunkenly.  
"Okay y/n let me help you."  
"No, No, no... I am a grown woman...I can open." Just when you are about to enter the key.  
Flip opens the door, "She's drunk, huh." He looks down at you to see your eyes are red, and you are barely standing. And then to your sister.   
"Yep.," your sister says and laughs cause she's drunk too.   
"Hey, Flip!" Rhonda and Sharon yell from the cab window. All you women are drunk.   
"Do you need me to take you home? "Flip asks your sister. She tries to tell him, no, but you interrupt.  
"Yes. Take them home; the cab driver smells." You say as you try y step into your home, but you stumble. Flip catches you and places you on the couch.  
"Okay y/n stay here."   
"You got it, Major." you salute him.   
He just laughs and grabs his keys.   
Before he shuts the door, you hear him say, get out the cab ladies. 

Flip kindly drops each woman at their house. Each husband is very appreciative of FlipFlip, making sure they got home safe. But to him, it was no biggie. You were right; the cab driver did stink, and he was giving Sharon a very creepy look.   
Flip arrives home and hears you snoring on the couch. He picks you up bridal style and takes you upstairs. He undresses you and leaves you in your undies. He cleans the kitchen and checks on the kids who are just as good as you are. He finally joins you at about 12 am. He pulls you close and holds you tight cause he couldn't imagine a better night or life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading this series guys. I really appreciate it. I think this may be the last chapter. I don't know where else I could go with this story. This was my first fan-fic so I know it may have errors or not be the best but I'm thankful to everyone who left a kudos and read it. Much love. These are uncertain times so everyone stay safe and be kind to one other. : )


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